In Living Color

Arvay posed an interesting question today via Gmail chat:

"Why did I say "Homey don't play that" the other day? What does it refer to? I can't even remember. My younger friends had never heard it."

Ummm, that's because younger kids never had the pleasure of watching the AWESOMEST TV show ever, In Living Color. Its really a shame that TV shows like this don't exist anymore. Variety type shows have been replaced by inane reality TV or reality competitions (So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway excepted) and sitcoms are as lame as they've ever been.

So, younger kids, here's Homey D. Clown in all his glory:

I honestly laughed out loud like five times. This is just as funny today as it was when it originally came out. Love it! Thanks to Arvay for the reminder. Laughing is so much fun and who couldn't use more laughter in their lives?!

True life

DJC and I have been sitting on our butts, hour after hour, engrossed in the Life series airing on the Discovery Channel (Careful, the video on the site will play automatically. You can watch all of the episodes there, though, and that's nice.) Animals are so freaking cool, ya'll. Despite the fact that Oprah Winfrey narrates the whole damn thing and the ever-present condescending tone in her voice can be heard even when she's just reading a script, the cinematography is some of the best ever.

In that same amazing vein, check out this video that was brought to my attention by a Facebook friend. This is an awfully curious little critter:

I know that videos don't replace actual content. I've got several new posts in the works, but for now, this should keep all five of you entertained. =)

Vai love

Ok, so we all know that I have a serious thing for Steve Vai. True, most of what I listen to these days is heavily influenced by DJC's taste in drum n' bass, dubstep and other electronic genres (not that I'm complaining), but I will never give up or get over my ridiculous love for the simple sound of the guitar. Or in Steve Vai's case, the FUCKING AMAZING things he can do with a guitar. The man is, simply put, a guitar god (I've raved about him before here). If I were stranded on a desert island and could only take five CDs with me, "Fire Garden" would be one of them, for sure.

A few nights ago while looking for something to watch on TV, I cam across a Steve Vai concert. JACKPOT! It was ninety minutes of some of the awesomest live music ever. I've seen him live only once (the G3 tour) and I was totally blown away. While I was watching his most recent show on TV, I realized how little post-production work goes into his music. He has some seriously talented musicians in his band and they execute his vision without the help of studio tools. He writes the music for every single instrument, he arranges it, and he sometimes even sings. The man is nothing short of incredible. His sounds are lush and different and no matter what he does, you can be sure that he's always pushing things as far as he can.

Here is my favorite song from the recent TV concert:

The solo in the middle is normally performed by Vai on the guitar, but the fact that he chose to have his violinist do it instead was a genius move. Its a show-stopper. I honestly got chills. I love that his music can still do that to me.

Enjoy, peeps. =)

DATS WUTS UP!

HURRY! Watch this before it gets taken down!!! CLICK!! NOW!

Yeah, the song isn't the greatest, but HOLY MOLY, the performance as a whole is reeeeeeee-diculous! The outfit! The artistry! The fact that she's actually singing! The water! The athleticism! The BALLS on that chick (not really, but you know what I mean)! All of it, straight up amazing. By far, the coolest thing that happened at last night's Grammy Awards.

And as much as I've come to love Taylor Swift, I was a little embarrassed for her during her performance with the legendary Stevie Nicks. Taylor's songs sound pretty good on the radio, but hearing her live made me realize just how much post-production work goes in to her music. Little country lamb can't sing, ya'll...and she certainly couldn't hang with the likes of Stevie Nicks. It was almost painful.

Anways, this concludes your pop culture update for now. I haven't finished watching the rest of the show yet. I'll get back to you if anything interesting happens in the back end. Word.

Metropark and Jersey Shore

Ok, I'm OBSESSED with MTV's latest trainwreck TV show, Jersey Shore. It is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I should hate it. Instead, I cannot turn it off. I find myself watching old episodes over and over because they're just that goddamn entertaining. The plot, its not that interesting. In fact, its a pretty blatant rip-off of The Real World (seven randoms picked to live in a house and have their lives taped...and attempt to work to earn their free digs for the duration of the show) that's been done 20 or so times already. Its the freaking people that make Jersey Shore so damn amazing.

First off, they all have nicknames. Nicknames like "Snooki" (the roommates sometimes call her "Snickers"), "The Situation", and my personal fave, "Jwoww". Yes, that's "Jwoww" with TWO Ws. Brilliant!! Awsome nicknames aside, its the personalities of the cast that keeps me coming back for more. They're like walking cartoon characters. I find Snooki to be absolutely mesmerizing and the rest of the folks to be completely fascinating as well. Their hair, their tans, their penchant for fist pumping at clubs, their clothing...all so totally interesting. I'd post pics for you all to see what I'm talking about, but they look pretty much as normal as anyone in still photos...except WAY more tan.

I couldn't help thinking about the clothing earlier today when I was shopping with B-rice and AG. We wandered into a store called Metropark. Before today, I'd never heard of this store. After taking a brief survey of the clothing offered, I understood why. SO not my style. Over the top, graphic, Jersey Shore-ish T-shirts, pants and jewelry. And I wasn't alone in my feelings...B-rice looked at me and said, "All I can think of when I look at all this stuff is Jwoww." Hilarious and so true! All of the clothing...soooooo, ummm, Jersey. I mean, I've heard of brands like Affliction before, but now all I can see is The Situation and DJ Pauly D sporting that shit after hitting the tanning salon. No me gusta. We did get a good laugh out of it, though. I honestly can't see why anyone would wear stuff like that, but fashion is a personal thing, I guess.

(As an aside, I walked by J.Jill today and spotted a poster imploring shoppers to "Embrace COLOR!" I looked around quickly and all I saw were muted pastels and beige. COLOR?! Hardly.)

But back to Jersey Shore for a sec...if there is only one hot mess of a TV show that you watch this season, this HAS to be it. My god, its brilliant. Reality TV gold. And MTV even has all of the episodes online, so there is no excuse for not checking it out. You'll laugh, you'll pump your fist in the air, your jaw will drop, and you will feel good about yourself and your life choices. Everyone wins!!

My current stream of consciousness...

Finals. Stress. More arithmetic than I ever thought I'd have to do after leaving 4th grade...sans calculator. Stress. Headache. Sore shoulders and neck. 3 hours of hell and no time left over to check my math. Divot in my finger from holding the pencil too tightly. Hardest class I will probably ever have to take...even when I get into nursing school. Whether I feel good about my efforts or not, its over. Hope I passed. Not gonna lie...I hated every single moment of this class. Don't want to take it again. Ever. For any reason.

Now, Anthony Bourdain in Sardinia. Delicious looking foods. Fire-roasted cheeses. Fresh pastas and sauces. Cured meats. Mouth watering. Bubble bath soon. Sleep...perhaps soundly. Hopefully soundly. Dream of fire-roasted cheeses and house wines. Mmmm...

Tomorrow, the feverish studying will resume for Thursday's exam. Multiple choice. Infinitely comforting multiple choice. The answer's there somewhere. When it doubt, you've got a one-in-four chance. Pick C. Always C. Almost finished. Light at the end of the tunnel is almost visible. One more Starbuck's caramel brulee latte and one more lecture before the exam. Remember to buy two Scan-trons! Hang in there!

After finals, off to Wisconsin. Hellishly cold Wisconsin. Fun. Not. I'll blog if I can. Ugh.

The carnage

The Bay Area experienced its first good storm of the season today. It was a doozie, for sure. This picture was taken right down the street from my house. Even though it blocked nearly four lanes of traffic, the huge tree thankfully missed all the power lines and more importantly, the Comcast lines.

You see, I seem to have picked up a nasty little cold and all I wanted to do after physiology lab was curl up under a blanket and spend some quality time with the DVR. When I saw the tree, I panicked a tad. But all was well with the cable. Wish all was well with me...

See you all soon. *sniffle...sneeze*

Your yearly VMA post

I kinda got suckered into watching MTV's VMAs this year, mostly because I was writing about America's Best Dance Crew for my other blog and the coverage just seemed to spill over without me noticing. By the time I realized what I was watching, I was already hooked and had to watch. And I really didn't plan on writing about all the goings on (mostly because I don't want to give Kanye more press...not like anyone reads my blog or anything), but then I remembered that BT gets her VMA street cred with her lawyer friends from my blog, and I figured that EVERYONE would be talking about last night and I wanted her to be able to throw her two cents in.

So, BT, here ya go. This one's for you...

Last night, Taylor Swift (?) won the award for Best Female Video. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson and other people that I am forgetting were also nominated. Well, as she was giving her acceptance speech for her very first VMA ever, Kanye West, who is possibly the world's largest asswipe, had to steal her thunder:

MTV Shows

It's absolutely astounding to me how much I dislike Kayne. He wasn't even nominated for an award this year (because his music sucks) and he still had to be the center of attention. Listen douchebag, MTV can make you or break you depending on whether or not they like you. It has nothing to do with musical talent. People will like what they're told to like by MTV. Clearly, Taylor Swift is on MTV's good side and judging by the fact that you've never won a VMA, you're not. Period.

Whoever this Taylor person is, though, I feel badly for her. Poor little country singing lamb. This was her moment and Kanye had to make it all about himself...again. Ugh. I'm so tired of his attention-whoring antics and wish he would just disappear into the aether.

Anyways, later in the evening, Beyonce won the award for Video of the Year and brought Taylor back on stage to allow her to complete her acceptance speech. While Kanye showed just how disrespectful a person can be, Beyonce demonstrated a sky-high level of class:

MTV Shows

See there? All better. Taylor gets her moment, Kanye is "escorted" out of the VMAs after committing the equivalent of career suicide, and Beyonce comes away from this whole debacle looking like a saint. All is well in the world of pop music again. YAY! Cotton candy and fluffy kitten hugs all around!

So there it is, BT. Hopefully, this will earn you some pop culture points at work today. =)

Boy meets elephant

That's the actual title of this darling commercial for Oreo Fun Stix. I prefer to call it "the commercial that cracks me up for no good reason every time its on TV":

I think I like it so much because the elephant's name is Brandon...like he's a member of the family, but not like a pet. Like an actual member that has his own room in the house and attends the 4th grade. Too cute.

Plus, how good do those Fun Stix look? Do they have the famous Oreo creme in the middle? Cuz I'd eat that shit...

Calesthenics...Obama style

I'm currently watching our new President's speech, and I can't help but wonder...

...Were the men and women in Congress prepared for the leg work out they're getting tonight? Up, down, up, down, cheer, hoot, holler, up, down, up, down. On and on it goes. Not that I disagree with what the most articulate President of our time has to say. I'm as enamored and as captivated as the next guy, but sheesh, all that standing and sitting and standing and sitting has got to be a little tiring and hard on the old, creaky knees, don'tcha think?

And as much as I LOVE her, can someone please teach Nancy Pelosi how to clap? It's waaaay too rhythmic and looks a little robotic. And honey, that shirt!! That design on the front!! That color!! Ooof! No. No. NO.

My new hero

Ladies and gents, I give you Kunio Kato, who, in his Oscar acceptance speech, made me howl with laughter:

By far, the awesomest speech of the night. So unexpected! So awesome! Thumbs up!

Early morning misstep

So, after almost 10 months of blissful peace and quiet, DJC and I have new downstairs neighbors; a mother, a father, and two FUCKING OFF-THE-WALL kids. I didn't know kids could make so much noise. It's insane. From the moment they wake up at 7am each day (even on weekends) until the second their fat little bodies require rest at night, the yelling and stomping and door-slamming and thumping and more yelling is non-stop. When I spoke with the father about the ludicrous amount of noise, he simply looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, "I have kids". He made it pretty clear that he is completely uninterested in positive neighborly relations or in disciplining his wild, circus animals children. There are four people living below them and I can only imagine what all the stomping and shouting sounds like down there. It rattles the walls up here! They really do act like they're the only ones living here.

When they first moved in, it was a Wednesday, and I feared that, despite being 7 and 10 years old, the kids did not go to school at all. Mercifully, I saw them waddle down the front steps carrying bookbags on Friday morning. Sweet lord, they went to school. All day. The problem was that I was rudely awakened by their shouting and door slamming VERY early and couldn't go back to sleep. So, I camped out on the couch with my fave down blanket and the remote. I foolishly tuned in to the last 30 minutes of...wait for it...

...Celine Dion's Las Vegas extravaganza entitled "A New Day". This show ran from 2003 through 2007 and grossed over $390 million dollars. My question is this: WHY?! From what I saw in my sleepy 30 minute snapshot, it was nothing more than a mediocre concert hardly worthy of the gaggle of awards it received. Franco Dragone, the brains behind the breathtaking Cirque du Soliel show "O" also orchestrated Celine's show, and I have to ask, REALLY?! None of the magic and whimsy and sheer entertainment value of "O" was present in "A New Day". In fact, the most entertaining parts of the show came when the camera would cut to the audience, where people were standing and singing and clapping along, sometimes in French, sometimes with tears rolling down their faces. Again, REALLY? People actually listen to Celine Dion's "music"? Huh. Who knew!

The point here is that this show received many, many accolades, like "Best Headliner in Las Vegas" and "Best All-Around Performer", winning nine awards in all over its four year span. Maybe I would have felt differently about it if I had seen it live (for free, though...), but even the Cirque du Soleil shows that I've watched on TV blew me away. Am I missing something here?

Resolutions and revelations

So, I've had lots of time on my hands these days. And I've done a fair amount of thinking. I've realized a few very important things...

1. I need to really make an effort to eat healthier. Last year's diet included tons of cheese, frozen convenience foods, take out, more cheese, sugar and sweets galore, and lots and lots of breads and pastas. The last time I went to the doctor's, I was forced onto the scale by an unhappy nurse whose face brightened considerably when she saw how much I weighed and how shocked I was at the actual number (bitch!). I think I may have cried a little that day. The food choices I've made over the past year have resulted in quite a weight gain and I realized that I have to make a change. All the exercise that I've been doing isn't going to make a damn bit of difference if I keep eating the way I do. Since returning home from the land of cheese and beer, DJC and I have made a conscious effort to eat healthier. So far, we're doing fairly well. Check back in May, though...we'll see what's what then! =)

2. I can't fake it anymore. I'm just not cut out for desk work. Some people, like my mother, can sit for hours on end and just do paperwork. I am obviously not cut from the same cloth. I HATE sitting still. I hate being chained to a desk. I can't stand cubes or offices or office buildings. I've tried, in my last three jobs, to ignore this very blatant fact and just force myself into the corporate life. The VoIP job almost worked, because I didn't have to be at a desk for a certain number of hours per day with supervisors watching how many times I go to the bathroom before lunch, but even if I didn't screw that one up (royally!), sooner or later, office politics would have gotten the better of me.

I've had a decent amount of time to think, and I've realized that I really need to get back to doing what I love and what I'm good at, which is taking care of people. I've only got a few more prerequisites to fulfill before I can apply for nursing school. Fortunately, there are a few accelerated programs in the area for people who already have a Bachelor's in a science-realted field. The programs are one year long, and then you're out there practicing. I'm thinking ER. With my skills from sports medicine, I think it would be a good fit for me. And nothing could sound any sweeter than that right now. I have a mere five classes to finish up, and then the NET to dominate before I can apply, but assuming all goes as planned, I should be ready to apply by this November for 2010 (man, typing that out makes it seem SOOO far away!!). First up: Pharmacology and Interpersonal Communications. Woot.

The bottom line is that I have fought going back to school to do what I love for FAR too long and I no longer have any sort of excuse. It needs to happen. I need to make a change. I'm lucky enough to have found what I love to do in this life and for me to put that off any longer is just silly. There's no time like the present and I've gotta start somewhere. I just need to stay focused and keep at it! Wish me luck!!

In the meantime, I'm hitting the gym hard and writing. My long lost friend and I were recently reuinited through the power of Facebook, and when we discovered a mutual love for reality TV, we decided to start a blog dedicated to nothing but good, old fashioned smack talk. Ladies and gents, I present "Admit It...You Love to Watch". Enjoy!

Ok, that's it for now. I'll keep you all posted on how classes go. I'm honestly a little nervous. Weird?

Discovery Channel scores again

Have you seen Storm Chasers? It airs on Sunday nights on the Discovery Channel and follows two teams of crazy people meteorologists and one IMAX filmmaker in their respective quests to intercept and film tornadoes. OMG, I am obsessed with this show and more specifically, with the personalities of the people it follows. Let's discuss, shall we?

First off, I'm gonna come right out and say it... Josh BUGS me. He's just sooo wishy-washy and unsure and conservative and careful. To a fault. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being a Debbie Downer buzzkill and chasing tornadoes aren't two things that really go hand in hand, no? All he does is sit in his little truck and look at his Doppler radar (which is malfunctioning most of the time) and make wrong decision after wrong decision. Damn, I want him to grow a pair and make a call based on instinct and feeling and stop depending so heavily on technology.

In Josh's misguided entourage of six plus vehicles is Sean, the IMAX filmmaker and his mighty TIV. Since Sean is at the mercy of Josh's overly-cautious calls as to which storm they're going to chase, the Josh/Sean segments of the show consist of a lot of pointless driving, very few tornadoes and even less footage for Sean. I honestly don't know how he manages to maintain his cool. If I were in the same position, I'd have told Josh and his DOW to pound sand a LOOOOOOOONG time ago. I feel bad for Sean most episodes. You can almost feel how badly he wants to do the complete opposite of what Josh thinks.

The second team of fools tornado chasers is headed up by Reed. I like Reed. He is shithouse NUTS. He runs this website and generally works in the same area as the Josh/Sean team. The difference is that Reed had ZERO access to Josh's uber-fancy Doppler, and still manages to be in the right place at the perfect time to snag some un-freaking-believable footage. Reed has what Josh just can't fake: instinct and balls as big as church bells. He just knows where the tornadoes are going to be. And, did I mention that he's totally nuts (but in a good way)? It makes for seriously entertaining TV.

Weather is cool. So is this show. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you check it out. Its good for a serious couch-adrenaline rush. =)

Updated! My ears *must* be playing tricks on me

I can't find the video to prove it, but I SWEAR I heard Sarah Palin give a "shout out" AND a wink to her brother's third grade class during last night's "debate". A freaking shout out. Are you kidding me?!?! This isn't MTV's Total Request Live, for crying out loud. And, if McCain is elected (God help us all), we're just going to hand over the nuclear codes to her, whack-ass shout outs and all? Oy vey! I'm totally OK with her saying hello to her brother's third grade class, but what's wrong with a simple, "I'd like to say hello to my blah blah blah"? What's up with the trying-too-hard, overtly poserish shout out? After that, I half-expected a WESSSIIIIIIIIDE hand sign, too. Seriously.

I think after last night's non-debate and mish-mash of pointless rhetoric, it's pretty clear that as a Vice Presidential candidate, Palin is WAY in over her head. But, never fear, Governor, I hear that The Counter is hiring!

(As a side note, I don't think I've ever used the word "whack" so many times in a week. It's kinda fun! Hee-hee! And also, as much as Palin's voice makes the small hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, I did really dig the shoes she was wearing last night. Sad and kinda scary that they're the only redeeming things I could find...)

Update: YEEESSSSSS!!

Thanks, DJC. Well done! =)

VMAs 2008

Good lord. Is MTV trying to make itself totally irrelevant in one night? Is that possible? Is MTV already totally irrelevant? If not, they took a giant step toward that goal last night with their annual Video Music Awards. Is anyone over the age of 15 even mildly interested in pop music anymore? Good question. I think not, but year after year, MTV feels the need to shove it down our throats by glorifying the puzzling state of pop music, while simultaneously exposing it for the utter shit that it is. Does MTV even play music videos anymore? Oh...right...no.

A few observations:

1. I honestly couldn't identify Christina Aguilera while she was performing. I missed the beginning (where, apparently, she sang the one song she's famous for "Genie in a Bottle") and actually wondered if MTV had stooped low enough to allow Brooke Hogan to perform. Yeah, it was that bad. Even her trademark vocals weren't enough for me to ID her.

2. Lil' Wayne, honey, pull them drawers UP. Leave something to the imagination, please. And find different material to rap about. I think I speak for most people when I say that we're all TIRED of hearing about how rich you are. Fuckin' punk.

3. After last year's catastrophic opening performance, I was really rooting for Britney. Every commercial I saw and celeb-trash blog I read announced that she was opening the VMAs again this year and I hoped it would be better than her Comeback v1.0 flop. Well, it was better...to a certain extent. She was clothed this time, looked cute and fit and most importantly, lucid, and didn't lip-synch sing...but this is where the "better" ended. She was responsible for FOUR GODDAMNED LINES, and she even screwed those up. Brit Brit, it's pronounced "an-ni-ver-sa-RY", honey. Its OK, though...MTV more than made up for last year's flub with unabashed ass-kissing at this year's awards. So sickly sweet, they both are. Ick.

4. The best part of the whole pre-show was the dance duel between my beloved Kaba Modern and the awesomely wacky Fanny Pack.

5. I LOVE Russell Brand! More Russell Brand! I vote for Russell Brand to host every awards show MTV has the balls to put on from here on out! He was the only good thing the show had going for it...

6. Well, not the only thing:

I am NOT a Kayne fan. I think he's a whiny, self-important gazillionaire and most of his music is too over-produced (and whack) for me to get in to. But this...this was stunning and gave me chills. And you know if Kayne's performance is the standout of the night, shit's gone downhill, folks.

Don't even get me started on The Jonas Brothers (who?) and Jordin Sparks (double who?). Lame and lamer. Kinda like MTV these days...

Blah blah blah...

Sometimes, life kinda gets in the way of updating this thing. You know how it can get...

All's well. No worries, but as it turns out, I'm a pretty boring person leading a very average life. And for the moment, I've totally run out of things to talk about. The Sarah Palin circus extravaganza, however, is a different story. I could babble endlessly. But I won't. Politics, in this medium, are difficult to discuss.

I hope you understand. I'm gonna go watch The Hills. How predictable I am...

Dear Korto,

photo courtesy of Bravotv.com

After watching last night's episode of Project Runway, I gotta say...Girl, I really, really, REALLY want a coat to match my current purse. Can we work something out? Although, I know how heavy my purse is, ya know, because it's made of seat belts and all. I can't imagine how freaking oppressively heavy that coat must feel. But goodness, it's stunning. LOVE! I want. I covet.

So. Not. Funny...

...and yet I freaking crack up *every* time I see this one:

I like the little song the troll sings, but DJC thinks the funniest part of the whole commercial is the noise he makes when he comes out of the portal.

Whatever the case may be, how random is this?! WTF!!

"Sorry that you lost your files...Here's some fruit to make you smile...Hooooh haaaah, hooooh haaaaah"

Totally lame. Totally funny.

Olympics Overload?

This weekend, I've watched bits and pieces of:

- Rowing
- Volleyball (Men's and women's indoor and beach)
- Softball
- Basketball (Men's and women's...and oddly, I didn't hate it! I KNOW!!)
- Gymnastics (Speak your mind, Bela! Tell it like it is!! The women's vault finals were bullshit!! You got robbed, Alicia!!)
- Trampoline (tramampampoline!)
- LOTS of boxing
- Women's marathon
- Swimming (MICHAEL PHELPS, MICHAEL PHELPS' MOTHER, MICHAEL PHELPS' LIFE STORY, and countless interviews. I swear, they could give this guy his own channel and never run out of material. NBC LOVES talking about him! ALL PHELPS, ALL THE TIME!)
- Diving
- Men's and women's track and field (Usain Bolt! Damn, I'd love to see that guy *finish* a race at 100% instead of pulling up with 15 meters to go because he was smoking the hell out of everyone)
- Fencing
- HANDBALL (Are you kidding me?!?! It's like water polo...on land...and not nearly as cool. I'm still amazed that they hand out medals for this. Laaaaame.)
- Men's field hockey (???? Seriously.)
- Men's water polo
- Weightlifting

Perhaps I need to get off of the couch. Ya think? ;)