VMAs 2008

Good lord. Is MTV trying to make itself totally irrelevant in one night? Is that possible? Is MTV already totally irrelevant? If not, they took a giant step toward that goal last night with their annual Video Music Awards. Is anyone over the age of 15 even mildly interested in pop music anymore? Good question. I think not, but year after year, MTV feels the need to shove it down our throats by glorifying the puzzling state of pop music, while simultaneously exposing it for the utter shit that it is. Does MTV even play music videos anymore? Oh...right...no.

A few observations:

1. I honestly couldn't identify Christina Aguilera while she was performing. I missed the beginning (where, apparently, she sang the one song she's famous for "Genie in a Bottle") and actually wondered if MTV had stooped low enough to allow Brooke Hogan to perform. Yeah, it was that bad. Even her trademark vocals weren't enough for me to ID her.

2. Lil' Wayne, honey, pull them drawers UP. Leave something to the imagination, please. And find different material to rap about. I think I speak for most people when I say that we're all TIRED of hearing about how rich you are. Fuckin' punk.

3. After last year's catastrophic opening performance, I was really rooting for Britney. Every commercial I saw and celeb-trash blog I read announced that she was opening the VMAs again this year and I hoped it would be better than her Comeback v1.0 flop. Well, it was better...to a certain extent. She was clothed this time, looked cute and fit and most importantly, lucid, and didn't lip-synch sing...but this is where the "better" ended. She was responsible for FOUR GODDAMNED LINES, and she even screwed those up. Brit Brit, it's pronounced "an-ni-ver-sa-RY", honey. Its OK, though...MTV more than made up for last year's flub with unabashed ass-kissing at this year's awards. So sickly sweet, they both are. Ick.

4. The best part of the whole pre-show was the dance duel between my beloved Kaba Modern and the awesomely wacky Fanny Pack.

5. I LOVE Russell Brand! More Russell Brand! I vote for Russell Brand to host every awards show MTV has the balls to put on from here on out! He was the only good thing the show had going for it...

6. Well, not the only thing:

I am NOT a Kayne fan. I think he's a whiny, self-important gazillionaire and most of his music is too over-produced (and whack) for me to get in to. But this...this was stunning and gave me chills. And you know if Kayne's performance is the standout of the night, shit's gone downhill, folks.

Don't even get me started on The Jonas Brothers (who?) and Jordin Sparks (double who?). Lame and lamer. Kinda like MTV these days...