Next week...

Monday: Crash 10am anatomy class that is completely full and the waiting list closed. Try my best to get in. I don't have a plan B if I cannot get into this class...and I REALLY need to get in.
Squeeze in a workout at some point. I drank so much damn beer this weekend that I totally derailed my wedding diet. At some point, I will need to call the various schools to see where the hell my transcripts are. I paid for the damn rush processing this time and still, they're not arriving.

Tuesday: 8am statistics class. No need to crash this one...I'm already in. Glide volunteering in the afternoon. Squeeze into yoga pants and squeeze in another workout. Bug the people who have offered to write me letters of rec to actually write them and submit them.

Wednesday: Crash the very same anatomy class in hopes that a few spots have opened up. Later in the afternoon, crash the lab. Hopefully, my persistence will pay off and the professor will let me in. Either that, or he'll be so annoyed me and let me in anyways. In the evening, DJC and I are meeting with our officiant to start planning out how our wedding ceremony will go. Chinese food will be consumed, no workout will happen.

Thursday: Statistics again. Hitting the gym in the early afternoon. In the evening, head out to SF for a Glide HIV Services dinner/drinkfest. I will try to stay away from the beer.

Friday: Aaaaah, no classes. The only thing on the schedule is a fun meetup with BT and LOTS of delicious tapas here, and then possibly some dancing.

Saturday: Second appointment with my wedding dress, this time with the shoes. Alterations begin, and I re-commit to my diet. Submit my PA application to CASPA. Cross fingers. Pray.

So, as you can see, I'm BUSY. I apologize for the upcoming lack of posting. Hopefully, things will settle down soon. But probably not until after the wedding in October. UGH!

I. Can't. Breathe.

On Thursday afternoon, the call that I've been anticipating all summer finally came. My wedding dress had arrived in the store and was ready for me to try on.

I immediately went into a bit of a panic. You see, I purchased my dress in December of 2009. Its been a VERY long time since I've seen it, and even longer since I last tried it on. I was nervous, to say the least. What if I no longer liked the style? Or the color? Or, and this was my biggest fear, what if my body size had increased drastically since I was measured back in December? What if the darn thing didn't fit? What if I looked *gulp* fat? AAAH! The anxiety was literally enough to keep me up at night. Like, I would fall asleep and wake not an hour later and just lie in bed totally stressed out.

Nevertheless, I made an appointment for yesterday afternoon, threw my Spanx in my purse, skipped breakfast and lunch and dragged AG with me to the shop. I was excited, and nervous and I had no idea what I was in for, but I knew I wasn't going to go in with a full stomach!

I'm sure those of you that have been through this ordeal are currently nodding your heads in complete understanding. If not, let me be clear....I was *terrified*. I mean, this is THE DRESS. The one I will wear on the day I become Mrs. DJC. To say I was scared was a gross underestimation of what I was feeling. I parked the car, got out to walk towards the shop, and immediately started to sweat. When I saw my dress hanging in the dressing room, my breathing rate and pulse increased. And then I put it on...

I think the lady helping me offered me some water and a chair. Apparently, I looked ill. I certainly felt ill. I stood there taking short, shallow, rapid breaths while she laced up the corset. I felt cold and clammy and hot and dizzy and faint as I tried to hold it all together. The lacing seemed to take WAY too long and I started to believe that something was wrong with the dress. My god, I had gotten fatter, I thought! How can this be?! NOOOO! I felt vaguely nauseated. All my hard work at the gym hadn't paid off at all.

But then, she started to pull. She warned me to hold on before the yanking began, but I didn't really know what she meant. Then I realized she was pulling so hard that I actually couldn't breathe! I panicked for reals this time. But as quickly as it had started, the panic was gone and I could breathe. Everything was OK. She continued working her way down and when she had finally finished, I walked out into the viewing room with all the crazy mirrors.

And you know what? I was (and still am) TOTALLY happy with my dress. Its gorgeous. And thanks to the corset from hell, I actually have a waist and a really nice shape. AG took endless amounts of pictures to send to my mom in Florida. I'm so excited for the big day. There are some pretty extensive alterations that need to happen (because I'm not a 6' tall model), but I think its going to be absolutely lovely...

...and perfect, minus about ten pounds. ;)

Quick recap

Lately, there's been a lot going on. Here's a brief rundown so that all five of you are up to speed...

1. I'm currently taking a SUPER intensive six day medical terminology course. Its essentially an entire semester's worth of work in six days. The class is scheduled to start at 9am. In reality, the professor shows up at 9:15 or 9:25ish, and because people know he's always late, most come at 9:30 or 9:40. What this means is that the professor will wait to start class until everyone is present. While we're all waiting, he leaves the classroom. Generally the class starts everyday at about 9:45am. The professor has been teaching this class for nineteen years and he's decided that its best to give us all of the exam questions ahead of time and let us hunt and pick through the textbook for the answers. During the time while we're working, the professor leaves the room again. What this amounts to is A LOT of sitting around and playing around with my cell phone. Anyone who's taken anatomy or physiology in the last decade can answer most of the questions without looking in the textbook, but hang on, there's a catch. He wants the definitions regurgitated VERBATIM from the textbook on the exam. When I heard this, I just shook my head in disbelief. Combine this class with the English professor who wanted papers written *just so*, this has become the summer of non-learning. Laaaaaaame. Only two days left, though.

2. I bought two pairs of jeans yesterday that are both one size smaller than what I usually wear. WOOT! I owe that to the repetition of RPM and all of the other classes I take, and how many freaking calories I burn!

3. Wedding, wedding, wedding! AAAAAH! Its less than three months away! We're feverishly trying to tie up all the loose ends and figure out all the little details that I never thought I'd have to deal with. Its just nuts. But I'm super excited and will hopefully have a little more motivation to stick to my diet when my dress comes in this month. Its gonna be a good time!!

4. PA school applications are due September 1st. I've been slowly chipping away at it, but I haven't even started on my narrative yet and need to still get my letters of recommendation in order. I'm getting a little nervous about this. I don't have a plan B if I don't get in. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

5. I've had a MONSTER cold lately and don't really feel like doing a damn thing. Studying, working, anything...its just not getting done. I can't even find enough energy to cough properly sometimes.

6. The gig at Glide's HIV Services is still going really well. We've recently set up a Facebook page to help spread the word about what we're doing there. If you haven't already visited and become a fan, this is my shameless plug and request to do so. And don't forget to suggest it to your friends (especially if they live in SF, and are MSMs, IDUs or trans-folk). Thanks!!!

Ok, I've got to head out and do something today. I think the laundry is the big winner. Ugh.

Bits and bobs

Yesterday, a woman in the bathroom of the downtown SF Hyatt asked me, totally seriously, if I was a plus-sized model. Them's fightin' words, ya'll. Like, srsly. But I brushed it off, because damn it, I DID look good last night. WORD. Today, a lady at the grocery store motioned to me and called me "that skinny bitch over there". Hmmm. Yesterday I was plus-sized. Today, I'm skinny, and apparently, a bitch. Well, at least she got part of it right. I guess whether I'm fat or thin very much depends on geography and the nationality of the person complimenting/insulting me. The lady who thought I was fat was white, and the one who saw me as skinny was African-American. I'm not trying to say anything here, it was just interesting...

Ummm, finals are next week. This week, I have a pathophysiology research paper to start/ finish, a schematic map of a disease process complete with drawings to start/ finish (and for those who didn't know, I can't draw for SHIT!), and a patho take-home final consisting of eleven essay questions to finish. Several of us decided we would split up the questions to make it easier on everyone, but when I read one of my classmate's answers stating that glucose gets converted into fructose in the cell (FRUCTOSE!!! Bloody hell!), I pretty much realized I'd have to do it all myself. Fuck group projects. Ugh. I have so much work to do, I'm scared to even start. Tick tock...

The rings. I picked them up from the jeweler last week. Here they are, complete with my dry, non-moisturized, wrinkly hands:


Not gonna lie, I can't stop thinking about them. When I walk by the box, I take them out, put them on and admire how damn sparkly they are. The fact that I have to wait until October to officially wear them will make it all the more special when DJC finally puts them on my finger. I'd like to think that my grandma would be pleased.

Been across the Bay Bridge lately? The "rumble strips" might be an even lamer idea than the S-curve itself. My god, Cal Trans. EPIC fail on that one!

A friend who sells Boheme wines gave us a bottle of their chardonnay to try in hopes that we might have it at our wedding. I'm not really into chards, but DAMN, this one was really good. We both loved it. Then DJC and I Googled the price. $38/ bottle. No wonder we liked it! Sheesh! That's easily the most expensive bottle of wine we've had all year. Despite the fact that its absolutely delicious, I think its safe to say that we won't be offering this to people who regularly drink Riuinite on Ice (Riunite so nice!) and wouldn't know the difference anyways.

I'm volunteering at Glide Memorial Church in SF these days. So far, I've only met with their clinic director and handed out hygiene kits on one occasion, but I'm hoping that he'll have more for me to do very soon. Its an amazing program!

That's all. Bed is calling. Like, now....

Wedding Updates

I checked in on my dress today. You know, the dress I ordered back in December. Because DJC and I aren't tying the knot until October, the manufacturer hasn't even begun to make my gorgeous frock. Its due in the store in August. I want to try it on before August, but I totally understand the store not wanting to hold it for months and months. Sigh.

We've got a tasting scheduled at our caterer's on Wednesday. Hells to the Yeah for free food! And damn tasty food at that. Word.

And now, on to the most exciting thing....

My mom recently sent me a package that included two of my grandmother's buttons from her wedding dress (that will be sewn onto my dress) and three rings: one from my maternal grandmother and two from my paternal grandmother, who just recently passed on after 96 years of hilariously ornery one-liners. My aunt had sent them to my mother because she has two sons, both of whom are already married, and had no idea what to do with the rings. My mother gladly accepted them and mailed them over to me, stating that I could probably use the stones to make my own ring.

Well, the band on my maternal grandmother's ring was worn clean through. It was her original engagement ring that she wore for over seventy years. It was delicate and in serious need of some TLC. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. But my paternal grandmother's rings were a different story. They were both in very good condition and both beautiful. Upon seeing them, I instantly decided that I would have the band of diamonds re-sized and that I would wear it as my wedding band. But, I figured I'd just take the stones from the other ring to use in a custom design. That is, until I spoke with the jewelry maker and owner of 14 Karats in Berkeley.

He convinced me that I would be foolish to destroy the rings for the stones. He said that the ring was unique, ornate, and a very beautiful heirloom. I would regret it if I did anything but have it cleaned up and re-sized so that I could wear both rings together. And after a nanosecond of thought, that's exactly what I am going to do.

I called my aunt today to tell her about my plans. She was so pleased and overwhelmed that she began to cry, which, of course, made me cry, too. She told me that my grandmother had asked that she take good care of her rings after she passed and she was so happy that I would be wearing them. I loved my grandma very much and am very proud to be wearing such memorable pieces as a symbol of my commitment and love for DJC.

As for my maternal grandma's ring, I have decided to have it rebuilt and will give it as a peace offering to my sister. She was pissed about the fact that I got all three rings, so hopefully this will put out the fire. The guys at 14 Karats promised me that they could make the ring look new again. Kerry and his father John were so nice and helpful. They even cleaned up my engagement ring free of charge and offered AG and I cold beer and anything else we wanted from the "bar". DJC loves the idea of a "bar" in a jewelry store...he'll be back to try their scotch soon.

So, that's all on the wedding front for now. We're chugging along. We're both trying to lose weight. We're crossing things off the list. Slowly, it's all getting done and coming together....

My life these days

Get out of bed, despite how nice and warm I am. Drag self to the gym on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Drag self to nutrition and pathophysiology classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, despite the fact that the nursing schools that require these classes have already had their lotteries for their 2010 classes. Guess who didn't get in. Some days, I'll do laundry in the afternoons. Sometimes, I'll go to the gym in the evenings instead of the mornings. Most days, I need to figure out what DJC and I will be eating for dinner. Have hour-long conversation with my mother about cupcake liners, cupcake trays, flower arrangements, invitations and various other wedding things. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Honestly, I just don't have anything to blog about lately. I'm trying to figure out where the hell I'm going to go from here in terms of my schooling. I seriously looked into Heald College's Medical Assistant program, but when I got to the financial aid step, I tromped on the emergency brake. Hard. Even though all of my previous classwork would only make my education commitment 12 months as opposed to 18, I couldn't see shelling out nearly $16K for the possibility of getting myself a $20/hr (max!!) job.

I did look at another school in Berkeley whose program was only 5 months long and roughly $4,500. I spent all of five minutes at this place before bolting for the door. The "admissions counselor" didn't even have an office to take me to, and there were four (count 'em, FOUR) armed security guards at the entrance to the school. The place is located right across the street from Berkeley High School and apparently, they've experienced a few violent crimes inside the school. Great. Clearly, this was not a place that encouraged learning. I was out the door and still had 40 minutes on my parking meter.

Recently, at the urging of a friend in the program, I've started to look into UC Davis's Physician Assistant program. I've previously applied to various other PA programs and didn't even get an interview. My GPA isn't the greatest and PA programs are traditionally very competitive. After my previous disappointment, I ruled this out as an option. But since I've been taking classes towards fulfilling nursing requirements, my GPA has risen a bit. I've been reading about Davis's program and I'm seriously considering giving it a shot. I will have to take three classes this summer (one English class, one math class and I'll have to re-do anatomy because its been more than five years since I last took it), and start volunteering at various free clinics that offer medical services to underserved populations.

I'm going to Glide Memorial Church on Monday to see what I can do there. And I will be volunteering for the Shanti Project in August. I'm really looking forward to actually doing something with my time. And hopefully, my volunteer experience will help set me apart from other PA applicants. Hell, I have all the time in the world right now. I might as well do something worthwhile that may help me in the future.

So, there you have it. This is what I've been up to lately. Boring. So very boring. If you need a nap after reading this or feel asleep in the middle, I totally understand.

T Minus 364 days...

DJC and I will be married exactly one year from yesterday. We were a bit concerned with how the weather might be so late into October, but if yesterday's weather is any indication, we've got nothing to worry about. It was gorgeous. Warm, sunny, lovely. Perfect for our outdoor ceremony. It's all so exciting.

Speaking of exciting, I recently went for my first wedding dress appointment. My mother and my sister came with me, which was good because I was a little freaked out. I am not a size 6...hell, I'm not even a size 10, and I was a pretty worried that I would have a difficult time finding a dress that fit. I'm VERY broad through the shoulders, chest and back and I knew that these features would present some issues when trying things on. And I wasn't wrong. Basically, I will have to find a dress that fits my upper body and tailor the ever-living hell out of it to fit my hips and waist. As Evelyn, my consultant, said in her heavy Russian accent, "You are all boobs. No butt. All boobs". Yep. That pretty much sums it up. Needless to say, a strapless dress wasn't going to work. Straps were needed...and quickly.

However, despite all of the challenges, I did manage to find four dresses that I am in love with. Unfortunately, the salon I went to last week didn't have five out of the six dresses I found on their website and wanted to try on. Luckily for me, though, my friend MC's adorable wife is THRILLED about helping me find a dress and has offered to join me for an appointment at a salon in the South Bay (secretly, I think she's just thrilled that MC has a female friend). They carry the same designers as the previous salon, so perhaps I will have more luck finding the remaining 5 dresses that I want to try on. I honestly can't make a decision until I can try those last ones on. But my goodness, this whole thing is overwhelming! And despite my worries, it was also a lot of fun. My mother and sister were very honest, but not brutal. I can't wait to go through the whole process again with JAC.

My parents are moving to Florida in about two weeks, so I am doing my best to do as much wedding-related stuff with my mom as I can before she departs. I can't believe I'm going to have to do the bulk of the wedding planning without her here...but plenty of people do things all by themselves, so I shouldn't whine too much. But still, it'd be nice to have my mom here. Oh well.

This whole wedding thing is crazy and fun and totally daunting. But I'm starting to enjoy it...finally. =)

Early lessons learned...

After a little searching, a lot of worry and a metric F*CKTON of stress, DJC and I have booked a venue and set a date for our wedding. Believe me when I say that this was no easy feat. And its a HUGE relief to have that very large hurdle taken care of. I've honestly never been so stressed out by something in my life...not by midterms and finals, certification exams, car accidents, money issues, parental sicknesses, etc. When faced with the task of finding the perfect venue that would allow for the things that DJC and I want, I quite literally became sick to my stomach. More than once, I verbally said that I didn't want to do all this...I wanted very much to marry DJC, but I became nauseated at the thought of planning it all out. City Hall would have worked just fine. Everyone kept telling me how much fun I should be having, but I just felt ill and overwhelmed.

Single ladies, take note: No matter where you are in your relationship, its never to early to start thinking about what your ideal wedding would be like. I think part of my problem stemmed from the fact that I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted in terms of a venue, or anything else for that matter. It should be easy, right? Girls think about this type of thing all the time. I know some ladies who have every single detail planned, and they're not even in a relationship. For them, I can imagine that settling on a venue, caterer, dress, etc, would be a breeze. But for me, someone who thought she'd never be getting married EVER, I haven't actually spent any time thinking about what I wanted. And thus, choosing a venue became a huge stress for me.

I haven't started shopping for a dress yet, but again, I find myself in the same boat. I have no clear idea what I want. The only thing I do know is that my dress will not be white, ivory, cream, eggshell, or anything resembling those colors. But as far as silhouette goes, I'm totally clueless. I faithfully watch TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress", but all of those dresses are so over the top and *totally* out of my price range. The only thing I've seen on that show that I really dig is this, and talk about over the top...sheesh! Perhaps I should start looking at dresses, or at least start thinking about how I would like to look on the big day...

The take home message here is that its always better to have a game plan when taking on a new endeavor. I had no idea what I was up against with this whole wedding thing and I'm just starting out! I know it should be fun, and I'm sure it will be at some point. But for right now, I'm just going to enjoy the relaxation that comes from knowing that we've got a venue and a date locked up. Onward...

California is just beautiful...Part one of a three part series

The following photos were taken at various points along the Pacific Coast Highway on possibly the sunniest day of the summer. DJC and I recently took a leisurely drive down to Big Sur, where after a lovely day of sun, adrenaline (courtesy of BL's Ferrari), and good food, he asked me to marry him. Its funny how we live so close to such beautiful sites, and yet as long as DJC has been in California, this was our first trip down the coast. Enjoy the pics!

The following pics are from Andrew Molera Beach, where after a long hike from the trail head through dust and dirt and horse manure, DJC and I sat on a log and talked about our past, present and future life together. He got down on one knee, gave me a ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I couldn't stop crying...in a good way.

This will forever be our beach. But if we ever return, I vow to wear better shoes that won't leave my feet raw, blistered and bloody:

____

OUCH! I didn't know I was in for a ~2 mile hike when I chose my footwear for the day! Ugh!

Regardless of the blisters and pain, this was such a fantastic day. A HUGE thanks goes out to BL for being the most amazing friend ever and letting us borrow his excellent vehicle to make the day that much more special. Hope you all enjoyed the pics. I've got more to come. Happy Wednesday!

He asked! I said yes!

YAY!!!