I was doing so well...

I don't know what happened. For the last 28 days, I had been eating really healthy and hitting the gym consistently for at least an hour each time. I was starting to see results. All was well.

And then today came along, and the wheels done falled off the bus, ya'll. The alarm went off at 8:15am and I figured that I had plenty of time to make it to the 9am CORE class. Apparently, I turned the alarm off and the next thing I knew, it was 10am. I say that I apparently turned off the alarm because I don't remember doing it and am convinced that the gnome that lives under the bed and steals one of each of my socks did it. In any case, I was stuck in a super-sleepy haze for the rest of the day. I really felt like everything I did was in slo-mo.

Then there's the lunch issue. I meant to eat some lean protein and maybe some vegetables. Instead, I found myself at Arizmendi Bakery, where I saw myself reach into the cases containing freshly baked, fragrant breads and rolls again and again. Yep, I went on a full-throttle, break-neck bread bender. I left the bakery with one cheese roll, one corn muffin and one chocolate Thing. It wasn't pretty. By the time I got to class thirty minutes later, I had consumed the entire corn muffin and half of the cheese roll. I came back for the chocolate Thing two hours after that.

Today is DJC's birthday. He and a coworker hit up The Trappist for a few celebratory beers and I joined them after class. As I've gotten older, I've found that I can't really handle drinking beer anymore. I jsut feel so bloated. Well, today I decided to have a huge, refreshing glass of Allagash White (basically, a Belgian witbeir...like I know what that means...DJC is the resident beer snob). I was very full when we left, but seeing as that I had only eaten various breads for lunch, real food sounded like a good idea.

We walked next door to Tamarindo, which neither of us had ever tried before. We ordered SO. MUCH. FOOD. I know I should have stopped after the third round of tapas showed up, but my god, all of the food was SO AMAZING, I just couldn't stop. Now, I'm sitting on the couch, shifting uncomfortably from side to side, wishing that I would have stopped when my tummy told me to. Holy ooof.

Today redefines over-doing it in every sense of the word for me. Too much sleep, too much bread, too much beer, and no matter how freaking delicious it was (and believe you me, it WAS), too much Tamarindo. I'm supposed to take a 90 minute combo kickboxing/dance/yoga class tomorrow morning. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Here are a few pics from earlier, in case you want to see parts of my gluttonous day:

I think it's safe to say I'll be eating salads and drinking water for the next few days until I detox. Because, damn, I seriously fell off the wagon today.

Just. Watch.

Have you heard of Maru, the overweight Scottish fold cat from Japan? No? Here...you can thank me after you watch:

Even if you're not a cat person, you can't help but laugh at this. Apparently, Maru is a HUGE star in Japan, and even has his own blog. And with awesomely hilarious videos like this next one, its easy to understand why he's so popular:

So cute. So fat. So much personality. SO entertaining! Maru might even overtake Winston as my favorite internet cat! But Maru can't sneeze like Winston, and Winston, as far as we know, doesn't dig sliding into boxes like Maru. Whatever...they're both hella cute! (As an aside, I can't believe I'm posting about cats on my blog. WTF?!)

Early morning misstep

So, after almost 10 months of blissful peace and quiet, DJC and I have new downstairs neighbors; a mother, a father, and two FUCKING OFF-THE-WALL kids. I didn't know kids could make so much noise. It's insane. From the moment they wake up at 7am each day (even on weekends) until the second their fat little bodies require rest at night, the yelling and stomping and door-slamming and thumping and more yelling is non-stop. When I spoke with the father about the ludicrous amount of noise, he simply looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, "I have kids". He made it pretty clear that he is completely uninterested in positive neighborly relations or in disciplining his wild, circus animals children. There are four people living below them and I can only imagine what all the stomping and shouting sounds like down there. It rattles the walls up here! They really do act like they're the only ones living here.

When they first moved in, it was a Wednesday, and I feared that, despite being 7 and 10 years old, the kids did not go to school at all. Mercifully, I saw them waddle down the front steps carrying bookbags on Friday morning. Sweet lord, they went to school. All day. The problem was that I was rudely awakened by their shouting and door slamming VERY early and couldn't go back to sleep. So, I camped out on the couch with my fave down blanket and the remote. I foolishly tuned in to the last 30 minutes of...wait for it...

...Celine Dion's Las Vegas extravaganza entitled "A New Day". This show ran from 2003 through 2007 and grossed over $390 million dollars. My question is this: WHY?! From what I saw in my sleepy 30 minute snapshot, it was nothing more than a mediocre concert hardly worthy of the gaggle of awards it received. Franco Dragone, the brains behind the breathtaking Cirque du Soliel show "O" also orchestrated Celine's show, and I have to ask, REALLY?! None of the magic and whimsy and sheer entertainment value of "O" was present in "A New Day". In fact, the most entertaining parts of the show came when the camera would cut to the audience, where people were standing and singing and clapping along, sometimes in French, sometimes with tears rolling down their faces. Again, REALLY? People actually listen to Celine Dion's "music"? Huh. Who knew!

The point here is that this show received many, many accolades, like "Best Headliner in Las Vegas" and "Best All-Around Performer", winning nine awards in all over its four year span. Maybe I would have felt differently about it if I had seen it live (for free, though...), but even the Cirque du Soleil shows that I've watched on TV blew me away. Am I missing something here?

Hello again!!

Remember 4 years ago when we had to apologize to the world? I do. Well, today's a new day.

Hey there, world!! We got it right this time! Hope you didn't forget about us! Let's chill together again...Yes? WOOT!

I'm just sayin'...

We were lucky...last night, me, DJC, Lucky_girl, M and Miss E and boyfriend each had a ticket to the hottest game in town: The Sharks vs. the Detroit Red Wings. I'm tellin' you, the game was EPIC. I don't think I've ever cheered as much at a sporting event before, which is really saying something. And sitting in a heavily populated Detroit section made all that cheering even more enjoyable. Totally amazing experience. But, here's the thing that bothered me a little...

Between periods, there is a seventeen minute intermission during which most fans leave their seats in search of beer, nachos, hot dogs and other dee-lish game-time treats. But, choosing to do so comes at the cost of one's personal space. Seriously...it's all assholes and elbows in the lobby area. Unless my bladder forces me to move, I generally avoid the masses. Lucky_girl and I stayed put in our seats during one of the intermissions so we could catch up, tell stories, and laugh (because, damn, it's been a while). It was then I noticed that nearly everyone sitting around us and in front of us was playing some sort of game on their iPhone or iPod Touch. The folks not playing games were checking emails and text messages. People sitting right next to each other, not talking, engrossed in the technology. WTF?

As a society, have we gotten to the point where we MUST be entertained and visually stimulated every second? What ever happened to good, old fashioned conversation? Why actually turn to talk to the person you've come to the game with when you can just send a text message instead? Ya dig?

Random stuff

First day of classes today. Pharmacology is being held in a room that is MUCH too small for the number of people enrolled in the class. Thankfully, half of us will be taking the class online. The professor is has a dry wit that borders on smart-assedness, and I respect that. Already, I'm totally interested in the material. Should be a good semester. And no parking tickets, even though I inadvertently parked in one of the faculty lots. Thumbs up.

Had lunch with an old-school diver friend before class. He and I have re-connected after a TON of years through the continued magic of Facebook. As most of you know, I was SO against stupid social networking sites a year ago, but Facebook has got to be the greatest thing in all of the world. Hell, my cousin's wife even found me! I really love catching up with all the folks that come out of the woodwork. Very cool stuff.

And, just for fun, I offer you this:

I totally get a kick out of this commercial. I love how into it the father is. The way he shakes his butt at the end is just freaking priceless. Any time I'm having a bad day, this one is sure to cheer me up. It's just so sweet. Having a bad day? Watch. I dare you not to feel the warm fuzzies. =)

Resolutions and revelations

So, I've had lots of time on my hands these days. And I've done a fair amount of thinking. I've realized a few very important things...

1. I need to really make an effort to eat healthier. Last year's diet included tons of cheese, frozen convenience foods, take out, more cheese, sugar and sweets galore, and lots and lots of breads and pastas. The last time I went to the doctor's, I was forced onto the scale by an unhappy nurse whose face brightened considerably when she saw how much I weighed and how shocked I was at the actual number (bitch!). I think I may have cried a little that day. The food choices I've made over the past year have resulted in quite a weight gain and I realized that I have to make a change. All the exercise that I've been doing isn't going to make a damn bit of difference if I keep eating the way I do. Since returning home from the land of cheese and beer, DJC and I have made a conscious effort to eat healthier. So far, we're doing fairly well. Check back in May, though...we'll see what's what then! =)

2. I can't fake it anymore. I'm just not cut out for desk work. Some people, like my mother, can sit for hours on end and just do paperwork. I am obviously not cut from the same cloth. I HATE sitting still. I hate being chained to a desk. I can't stand cubes or offices or office buildings. I've tried, in my last three jobs, to ignore this very blatant fact and just force myself into the corporate life. The VoIP job almost worked, because I didn't have to be at a desk for a certain number of hours per day with supervisors watching how many times I go to the bathroom before lunch, but even if I didn't screw that one up (royally!), sooner or later, office politics would have gotten the better of me.

I've had a decent amount of time to think, and I've realized that I really need to get back to doing what I love and what I'm good at, which is taking care of people. I've only got a few more prerequisites to fulfill before I can apply for nursing school. Fortunately, there are a few accelerated programs in the area for people who already have a Bachelor's in a science-realted field. The programs are one year long, and then you're out there practicing. I'm thinking ER. With my skills from sports medicine, I think it would be a good fit for me. And nothing could sound any sweeter than that right now. I have a mere five classes to finish up, and then the NET to dominate before I can apply, but assuming all goes as planned, I should be ready to apply by this November for 2010 (man, typing that out makes it seem SOOO far away!!). First up: Pharmacology and Interpersonal Communications. Woot.

The bottom line is that I have fought going back to school to do what I love for FAR too long and I no longer have any sort of excuse. It needs to happen. I need to make a change. I'm lucky enough to have found what I love to do in this life and for me to put that off any longer is just silly. There's no time like the present and I've gotta start somewhere. I just need to stay focused and keep at it! Wish me luck!!

In the meantime, I'm hitting the gym hard and writing. My long lost friend and I were recently reuinited through the power of Facebook, and when we discovered a mutual love for reality TV, we decided to start a blog dedicated to nothing but good, old fashioned smack talk. Ladies and gents, I present "Admit It...You Love to Watch". Enjoy!

Ok, that's it for now. I'll keep you all posted on how classes go. I'm honestly a little nervous. Weird?

My fascination with this ridiculous song continues...

Thanks to an AMAZING find by JZ, I give you this. (As an aside, I think it sucks when people disable the "embed" feature. Booooooo!) Say what you will, but DAMN, boyfriend is killin' it! Hilarious.

Then, there's this one:

No, your eyes don't deceive you...that IS indeed Justin Timberlake on the right in a black leotard and heels. Double hilarious.

And I know I'm totally behind on this one and dozens of people have already pointed this out (as always), but it bears repeating that Beyonce's video is a 1000% RIP of Bob Fosse's old school choreography. Obviously, this is not the original music used for the piece, but it gives you a pretty good idea of where Miss Sasha Fierce got her moves from (even if they have been sexified a bit):

See what I mean? Pretty damn similar. Even though I wasn't even a glimmer in my parents' eyes when this piece first came out, EVERY dancer has seen it at one point or another. It's hard to believe that Beyonce's work is completely original after seeing this.

But, what am I getting all bent out of shape about...who cares?! The song and video are fun. And if JZ ever makes it back to the Bay Area, she and I just might have to have a little dance-off. I'm working on my moves. Are you? Whoo!!

Random rant

My sister and I (and everyone she knows) have been singing the newest Beyonce song endlessly since it came out, whether we like it or not. Its just so damn catchy. And when I saw the video, I liked the maddening song even more (make sure to click to watch it in high quality). The choreography is so frivolously fun and campy at times that it makes me wish I could shake my money maker in 4" heels and look THAT damn good.

My sister brought up an interesting point, though. Beyonce is a thick woman. She's got gorgeous curves, healthy thighs, and a big ol' butt (actually, all of the women in her video are equally as shapely and attractive). I know I'm not ready for this jelly. Still, she is working the living HELL out of that leotard. Most people would agree that she's totally hot, yes? But here's the thing...

My sister argues that if a white girl had those same curves and chose to put them in a slinky black leotard, most people wouldn't celebrate her figure in the same way. She'd be called fat and told to cover up. And ya know what? The more I thought about it, I realized that my sister is right. But why is that? Why can't us white women have curves and healthy thighs? Why can't we have big butts and still be considered hot? Why are all the hot white women out there all anorexic stick figures?! Damn it!

I'm just sayin', is all...

Word.

Wisconsin wrap-up

Yes, I realize that DJC and I came back from the frozen north last Tuesday, but it's literally taken me that long to recover from what just might be the strangest trip I've ever been on. Here are the highlights:

Last time I blogged was Christmas Eve, and DJC and I were preparing for the HUGE dinner party at his dad's house. I met more extended family than I could possibly imagine, some good (loved cousins Nic and Danielle!) and some very, very bad. I witnessed an all-out, drunker than drunk, dead serious screaming yelling match between two people who, according to DJC's stepmom, have been friends since they were born, and found myself REALLY coveting the Slankets that stepbrother Dr. B gave several people during the gift exchange. I drank, I ate, I nibbled, and as the night progresses, I drank more, continued to graze, and did my best to fight off the endless clouds of second-hand cigarette smoke. This will become a recurring theme throughout the rest of the trip...

The next morning, we all awoke and made the two-hour trek up to the lake house, or as I like to call it, "you're trapped here with all these sucky people and there's nothing to do but drink, watch movies, and play the four Wii games available AND you can't leave because its snowing and none of the roads are plowed". That's right...no TV, no internet, no Cal bowl game, no Sharks hockey. Let's just say that the house was too small for 10 adults, 6 kids and 4 dogs (three Boston terriers and one Husky). Three of those adults smoked incessantly without a care as to who their second-hand smoke was bothering (their kids). As for the dogs, have a look at this:

As soon as three of the dogs were together in the same 10 foot radius, barking and tussling ensued and didn't stop until the dogs were separated or were moved to the cold garage. Instantly, they calmed down (guessing because they didn't like the cold) so that the adults would let them back in, only to resume the barking and tussling two seconds later. It was all so very tiring. Plus, one of the dogs peed on me, jumped on my lap during one of the tussles, scratched my arm and SPILLED MY WINE!!! Hello!?!?!? The wine was my only buffer!! The most annoying part was that all the barking and activity would really rile the kids up such that they added a whole 'nuther level of noise and mayhem to the whole circus event. And no one seemed to care all that much. For me, it was just another reminder that choosing not to have kids is indeed the right decision for me. I almost lost it more than once. Going outside to get away from it all was not an option, but I managed once or twice.

And the people, well, let me just say that if I ever see some of them again, it will be too soon. MUCH too soon. Thank goodness we live on the other side of the country. I never thought that I'd ever look forward to going back to DJC's mom's house, but as we drove back to semi-civilization, I actually breathed a sigh of relief. At least it would be quiet and we could shower there. At the lake house, we learned that no one showers (for fear of overflowing the septic tank) and that's just a generally accepted thing. DJC and I showered twice without knowing this and received a warning about the overflow. Then we noticed that no one else had showered...FOR FOUR DAYS. Thank god that the smell from the cigarettes covered up everyone's funk, because DAMN, that's nasty.

Feel free to check out some of the pics I took during the trip. There's also some pretty awesome stories that I couldn't fit into the blog post:

The Frozen Tundra

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had a great time! I'll be back soon with some other random stuff. Until then...