The location: The "feminine protection" aisle at Walgreen's earlier today.
The participants: Me. One seriously agitated bald man who looks to be on the verge of losing it, but is holding it together in the hopes of finding a Walgreen's employee to help him. He succeeds. The third player is a teenage, uber-nerdy, pimple-faced guy.
The scene: Seriously agitated bald man asks teenage guy for help because he needs to find "the slimmest tampons possible". Teenage pizza face looks like he's gonna throw up. He manages to say, "I don't even know what that means." Despite the fact that this could be seriously funny if I just stand back and watch, I step in.
Me: *deep sigh* "Two guys in the tampon aisle. Goodness. Sir, let me help you."
Teenage guy nearly trips over his own feet as he runs out of sight. Seriously agitated bald man looks totally relieved. He explains his situation and I offer two options. This seems to confuse him terribly. I realize my mistake and offer only one option. He quickly snags the box out of my hand and thanks me over his shoulder as he too runs out of sight.
Now, if I were ever to send my man to the store to buy me a very specific kind of tampon, I'd make damn sure that he knew *exactly* what kind I needed to minimize the time he had to spend hunting for them. The woman that sent the poor guy I helped today...she's maaaaad at him for something. Bless his heart. She sent him out with no further information or instructions other than "slimmest ones possible".