Fat cat on a little fence

Remember Professor Socks and Nitten? Sometimes when we drive by in the mornings, he is sitting on the fence. DJC speculates that it is because the ground is cold and he doesn't like it. Whatever the reason, its hilarious to see such a fat cat balancing on a tiny little fence. His rolls are literally spilling over the sides! I love this cat. The owners probably think I've totally gone nuts...I'm always driving by the house in hopes of catching a glimpse of their spellbindingly fat cat and then stopping to snap a few pics when he is out.

Yeah, I'm definitely heading down that road...

But seriously, how effing cute are these pics?!?!

Phoney Baloney

Dear Chris Brown,

You know that performance at the BET Awards that everyone's talking about from last night? Yeah, that one:

(for those who like MJ, he actually does a pretty cool impersonation...but for everyone else, let the thing load and then skip to about 1:55)

You're full of shit and no one believes that those crocodile tears were genuine. The only thing you're crying about is that you single-handedly destroyed your own career when you beat up Rihanna.

Now, move along. Ain't nobody buyin' what you're sellin', you little whack-ass busta. That's all.

Adventures in literature

Today was the first day of my 7:30am summer class, English 1B. I took English 1A in 1994 during my undergraduate years when I cared only about sleeping, partying, dancing, drinking and springboard diving...in that order. Note that academics didn't even make the top 5. Hence, my grade was an abysmal C+. I completely missed the point of the class and really didn't care to get it, either.

Now, I know that a C+ won't get me too far in the graduate world, nursing or otherwise. So, I awoke WAY before my alarm this morning and rolled begrudgingly out of bed, cursing my lack of academic focus back when I was 18. I made myself a large cup of Starbucks Via (which is actually pretty decent), and headed out the door to rectify my C+. Once I arrived on campus, everything went to hell in a handbag. Quickly.

I couldn't remember where the class was supposed to meet. I tried going to the administration office to look at a class schedule, but they didn't open until 8am. I tried finding the class on my phone, but as much as I LOVE my Palm, the web browser blows. Big time. I wandered aimlessly until the bookstore opened at 7:45 and I was able to figure out where the hell I was supposed to go. I hoofed it over to the portable classrooms, took a seat in the back and tried not to call too much attention to the fact that I was nearly twenty minutes late.

The professor sent us all an email on Saturday that included 29 pages of poetry to review before the first class today. TWENTY NINE pages of poetry. I can think of nothing I would like to read LESS that twenty nine pages of poetry (I will tackle my feelings on poetry in a different post). She also gave us a two page handout of literary terms to be discussed in class. While she was trying to come up with an example of alliteration in rap music, I foolishly raised my hand and offered my two cents, courtesy of Notorious BIG:

"Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip chamgpagne when we thirstaaaaay"

As soon as I finished, the class became very quiet. Everyone looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my nose. I turned about nine shades of red and immediately made a mental note to pipe down and not speak again. People began to snicker and the professor said, "We're all really excited about what you just said...on the inside." I've never felt so lame and embarrassed. Ugh.

Later in the class, though, the professor attempted to make up for it by using the Yin Yang Twins lyric "Like Short said, 'Let Bruce Bruce hit it'" as an example of allusion. I felt less lame, but only a little. I mean, at least I quoted a decent hip hop song so I had that going for me, but I still felt like a major idiot.

If today is any indication of how the rest of the summer is going to go, it's gonna be a loooooooong six weeks, ya'll. "Let Bruce Bruce hit it"....eff me.

Sunday celebration

For the past couple weeks, I've been volunteering one day a week at Glide Memorial in their HIV drop-in testing center. I've been shadowing certified HIV counselors so that I can learn the skills necessary to conduct my own counseling sessions once I attend the formal training. Its been an infinitely interesting time thus far. I've learned so much. And I'm genuinely happy to be there and to help out however I can. I haven't felt truly happy about a line of "work" since my athletic training days.

About two weeks ago, the parish pastors came up to the clinic to get HIV tests and take a few pictures that would be shown on the big screen at Celebration (their word for Sunday "mass" or "service"). The idea was to talk about testing and how easy and painless it is in front of the whole congregation...to let everyone know that Glide offers more than a great church experience and a free meal. We would then offer the rapid tests right after Celebration to whomever wanted one. The pastors figured that it would be a good way to show people that the tests aren't scary and that knowing one's HIV status is important.

You see, Glide isn't like any regular church. They don't care what your religious affiliation is, who you share your bed with, if you've had substance abuse issues, if you've got no place to call home, if you've had a shower in the last month, or what gender you identify with. Everyone is welcome with open arms and without judgment. Their message of radical inclusiveness is evident in every program they offer, not just in the church side of things. The message is spiritual and non-denominational. Its really an amazing place.

Anyway, today was the day for the pictures to be shown and for testing. I arrived not knowing what to expect, but was quickly pulled into the positive feeling of the people I spoke with. I attended Celebration, which is the first time I've stepped foot in a church in probably seven or eight years. I'm not exactly what you'd call a church-going kind of gal. But that's probably because I'd never been to this particular church.

Imagine a full band, a choir of about 30 people front and center on the stage and pews packed with smiling faces. Then, the singing started. There was SO. MUCH. SINGING. And clapping. And dancing. And joy...180 degrees from the regimented, terribly stoic Catholic church services I've attended previously. I've honestly never had so much fun at church.

The pastors kept the talking and preaching to a minimum. They'd say a few sentences that were inspiring without being all "Praise Jesus!!", and then the choir, composed of ALL kinds of people, would start again. And then the congregation would stand and the clapping, dancing, and singing would start up again as well. Even though I didn't know the songs, I clapped and shifted my weight from side to side in time with the beat just the same. I'd say more than 75% of the Celebration consisted of singing and dancing.

There were technical issues that prevented the pictures we'd taken previously from being shown, but the director of HIV services conducted a rapid test on one of the pastors stage instead. The Celebration finished with a sermon from a trans-gender pastor and a few announcements from drag queens about the Glide float for next weekend's Pride Parade.

All told, we tested about fifteen people today. But hundreds heard the announcement that Glide offers free confidential testing five days a week. Hopefully, the numbers at the walk-in clinic will increase next week. I shook lots of hands, gave lots of hugs and smiled more than I have in a long time. The positivity was absolutely contagious.

From what I understand, I'm very lucky to have scored a volunteer position here as there are always a TON of people wanting to help. I am also hoping to help out in the medical part of the clinic soon, as the skills I already possess could be put to immediate use with minimal training. We'll see, though. For now, I'm just happy to be there learning and doing whatever I can...

In Living Color

Arvay posed an interesting question today via Gmail chat:

"Why did I say "Homey don't play that" the other day? What does it refer to? I can't even remember. My younger friends had never heard it."

Ummm, that's because younger kids never had the pleasure of watching the AWESOMEST TV show ever, In Living Color. Its really a shame that TV shows like this don't exist anymore. Variety type shows have been replaced by inane reality TV or reality competitions (So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway excepted) and sitcoms are as lame as they've ever been.

So, younger kids, here's Homey D. Clown in all his glory:

I honestly laughed out loud like five times. This is just as funny today as it was when it originally came out. Love it! Thanks to Arvay for the reminder. Laughing is so much fun and who couldn't use more laughter in their lives?!

Neighborhood cats

I grew up having cats as pets. I loved how my calico cat would curl up on my lap on a rainy day and keep me warm and entertained with her hilarious personality. Alas, DJC is horribly allergic (like, more than you, BT) and can't even stand to be in the same car with a coworker who frequently has cat hair on his clothes. So, the idea of us getting a cat is out. Sad face.

I still love cats, though, and enjoy seeing various cats around the neighborhood. I sometimes take pictures of the felines that I encounter on walks or while driving somewhere. I email them to DJC because he actually likes cats, too...he just can't be around them at all. Anyways, here are some of our favorite neighborhood cats, with the names that we've given them...because we don't actually know their real names. Yes, we're those people....we rename other people's pets.

This is Neighborcat. Today was the first time we'd ever seen him, but he was super cute and meowed a lot. He seemed interested in us, but not enough to come over and allow me to pet him.

This is Paws. He is VERY skittish and doesn't like us, but hangs out in our backyard and under our cars pretty frequently. He has four white paws, hence the name.

We took a different route home today on our walk in hopes of seeing more cats. And we did. This orange one didn't even bother looking at us as we walked by, so there was no chance for me to pet it.

The first time we saw this little guy, he was up on his back paws, reaching up to a girl's hand so that she would continue petting him. We instantly called him Small Jumping Gray Cat. Today, I got to experience the jump for myself. This little guy couldn't get enough and would literally get up on his hind legs to get to my hand. He was so sweet and allowed me to pet him for about five minutes before he had enough and walked away. So sweet...and so like a cat to just walk away on his terms.

We like all of these cats just fine, but our favorites are the tortoiseshell cats that live down the street from the Small Jumping Gray Cat. At first, we only saw the super fat one, but then one day I saw TWO of them!! I had a minor freak-out and immediately stopped to take pictures. The one with the white bib is much smaller, but equally as unique and CUTE! I sometimes fantasize about stealing them. Really. DJC and I will text each other when we've seen them because we adore them so much. We're weird, I know, but just look at how cute they are:

What did we name these little cats? The fat one is Professor Socks and Nitten. Yeah, don't ask because I simply don't have an answer...I was going for Socks and MITTENS and got "nitten" instead. LOL. The name stuck. The smaller one is the white-bibbed nitten. *shrug*

Lastly, we have the black and white drooling cat. This friendly gal lives across the street from AG and sometimes I will arrive several minutes early at her house just so I can visit with this cat. If you listen closely, you can hear the purring. The drooling grosses DJC out, but my calico cat used to drool, too. I think its strangely cute.

I miss having a pet but with all these cool cats all over the neighborhood, its almost just as good. Almost...

A minor facelift

Nothing unusual to see here...

Continue to read as infrequently as I decide to post...

That said, hope you like the new look. Go Blogger!

No comparison

Yes indeed, ya'll...this IS Lady Gaga before she went off the deep end and started channeling the hell out of Madonna and Roisin Murphy. THIS is talent. THIS would have sold plenty of records on its own merits, without all the insane costumes and eccentricity. But people like a spectacle, and Lady Gaga is nothing if not exactly that. Too bad all that musical talent had to fall victim to her image...

P.S. I HATE when people compare her work to Madonna. Madonna did stuff like this. And this:

No one can touch that shit. Lady Gaga is good, but I just finished watching her new video for "Alejandro" (yeah, I put eight whole minutes in!), and she might need to take a different angle. Madonna's schtick was successful because no one had ever done it before. Lady Gaga's vids are a good attempt at originality, but when I can recognize elements from at least four of Madonna's videos, she can't be considered on the same level.

No one can touch Madonna. Period.

Colores

From L to R: Dim Sum Plum, Chopsticking to My Story, the little one is What's With the Cattitude, Jade is the New Black, You Don't Know Jacques. All colors are matte.

BT can attest to the fact that I'm a bona fide nail polish junkie. My dismal academic performance during my sophomore (and possibly my junior) year of college can probably be attributed to my constant nail polishing and grooming. The colors pictured above are some of my spring/summer favorites. I'm currently sporting the green on my both my toes and fingernails. Its very different for me, but kinda cool. Dim Sum Plum is adorable on my toes. You Don't Know Jacques is a little too trendy right now and when more than two people in a day can identify it by name, I'm not likely to be using it too frequently. The green, though...its unexpected and fun.

That's all. No real point to this post. Just wanted to show off some pretty colors on a sunny day...

This might be the cutest thing I have ever seen

Enjoy!!

Minor annoyances

I got an email from my nutrition professor this morning informing me that her Excel program had made an error in calculating my final grade and she only caught it after grades had been submitted. So, instead of the A that I had earned by accumulating the highest scores on three exams and completing the extra credit assignment, my final grade in the LAMEST class I have ever taken is currently a B. NOT OK. She did say that she's working on fixing it with the college administration, but she's also going out of town for the entire summer and knowing how long things generally take to get done at this school, I better stay on top of it. Lovely.

I did manage to nail down an A in pathophysiology, though. And that's nice!

On my volunteer application for Planned Parenthood, I found this question: "What does pro-choice mean to you?" And then, there was literally ONE LINE to tackle that very complex question. Dude, can I attach additional pages? I could write lots about that deceptively simple question. Like the Oxford One-Word Admission essays...except this is one question.

Parents, WHY do some of you purchase the ear piercing squeaky shoes for your special little snowflakes (credit for that goes to Miss Plumcake) and then let them run out of control in a quiet office? Its just mind boggling, really. Look, I'm sure Aiden and Alannah will be JUUUUUUUUUST fine without you having to hear their every little precious step. And if you can't locate your children by sight and have to listen for their squeaky whereabouts, well, you're just not cut out for this whole parent thing.

DJC and I recently watched Food Inc. for the aforementioned nutrition class and I have to say, DAMN, that movie has me a little more than messed up diet-wise. And when I say "diet", I don't mean a reduction of calories or cutting out this or that in hopes of losing weight. Diet, in this case, is simply the things that I eat on a daily basis. Because of that movie (and partially due to my nutrition professor's semi-Nazi stance on minimally processed foods), DJC and I are really re-evaluating what and more importantly, HOW we eat. What does this mean in practical terms? More local, organic veggies from small farms. More farmers' markets. Less red meat. NO fast food (I still love you Taco Bell!). NO foods with HFCS. Knowing where our chicken has come from. More fiber. More natural vitamins and minerals.

I think that everyone should see this movie. Its 100% disturbing but also factual. Food, instead of remaining a source of nourishment for humans, has become a big business controlled by a bunch of mulitnational nightmare corporations who have little to no concern for animals, their own workers and least of all, consumers. I shouldn't have been surprised by anything I saw in this movie, but I really was. I had no idea just how out of hand things have gotten. Yes, getting through the whole movie will suck, but I think everyone needs to see just what's behind what we eat.

I miss you Crunchwrap Supreme...but it's for the best.