Sunday, January 10, 2010

Finally...

Back in 2007, on a blog that no longer exists, I wrote about The Slanket. I joked about the lameness of the item...a blanket with sleeves! HA! Silly! And yet, I really wanted one. Like badly. But I just couldn't pull the trigger.

Then, over the years, the inferior Snuggie rose in popularity while the Slanket seemed to lose steam as America's favorite gimmick. Having read this very informative article, I knew there was no way I was going to succumb to the airplane blanket quality and static of the Snuggie. Hell, I relentlessly teased my friends who owned Snuggies. And those RIDICULOUS Snuggie commercials with that stupid dance?! Hell naw. It was the Slanket, or nothing at all. They were still available online, but again, I couldn't pull the trigger.

After demo-ing a Slanket at DJC's mom's house over Christmas, I knew the time had come. When I came home, I ordered one and anxiously awaited its arrival. The day it came, I literally giggled with glee. I eagerly unboxed my moss green beauty and immediately put it on. I then experienced what can only be described as a most excellent feeling of comfort and warmth.

What followed was an extended session of ass-planting. Its strange...its like the Slanket saps my will to do, well, everything. Grocery shopping, classes at the gym, the basic need for food and water...all usurped by the need to just chill. I am so comfortable and warm and LAZY when I am wrapped in its fleecy threads. Its like a big, soft, fleece hug. You know...its one of those hugs where you don't want to be the first person to let go. I think I want to be buried in my Slanket. The feeling...its simply divine. So soft. So gentle. Lovely.

I know I'm raving like a lunatic about a freaking blanket with sleeves, but if you think I'm nuts, its only because you don't have one and could never understand what I'm talking about until you do. I can't believe I waited over two years to finally purchase one. If you're pondering whether or not the Slanket is for you, I can tell you that it is. It absolutely is. You don't even know what you're missing. Order. DO IT. DO IT NOW. You can thank me later. =)

4 comments:

lucky_girl said...

That is the most awesome post EVAR. Thanks for a much needed laugh. _lucky girl

Arvay said...

I'm the same way about my flannel sheets. After I switch to flannel for the cold season, I have the most difficult time getting out of bed in the morning, even after I am wide awake. I lie there, stare at the ceiling, etc, etc.

Anonymous said...

Isn't really just a fleece robe worn backwards?

Still if it makes you warm cozy and lazy it's a good thing I say.

Now were's my beer, cheese and remote?

The Enforcer said...

Anonymous: I've never had a fleece robe this large or this plush. The sleeves are long. At 5'6", I can fully stretch out and still have enough Slanket left to wrap around my chilly tootsies. Try that with a robe...

Yeah, I'm all for lazy. Pass the cheese, for damn sure! =)