Dear NBC,

I'm tired. So very, very tired. Why must you show the premier Olympic events (read: anything involving Michael Phelps and swimming in general or gymnastics) SO LATE AT NIGHT?!!? Seriously, what's with the tape delay? Do you really think that us west coast folk need to see re-runs of Friends instead of showing the Games at the same time that the east coast gets to see them? C'mon...

A coworker made a great point today: We live in the OMG-I-need-to-know-NOWNOWNOW age, and thanks to the wondrous power of the interwebs, we can know now. Hell, it's 11:31pm and I already know who won the women's all-around and it HASN'T AIRED YET on the west coast.

Listen up for a sec, okay. Here's the deal. Thanks to all the media hype, people want to see gymnastics. You need to, and I can't stress this enough, air it EARLIER. So help me god, if I have to see Kerri Walsh in a tiny white bikini playing beach volleyball and taking up precious primetime television space on one more night, I think I might lose it. And the funny thing is that I actually like volleyball.

But you know what I like more than volleyball, NBC? Sleep. And thanks to your fucked up Olympics broadcasting schedule, I ain't gettin' a whole lot of it these days.

I would like to say a huge thank you for the extended tight shots of Ryan Lochte during his gold medal ceremony earlier, though. That almost made up for everything. Almost.

I'm also pretty happy that all of the diving events have aired early in the evenings. Exposing the American public to a less popular, less publicized sport is always a good thing.

Seeing as that I know who wins pretty much everything you're airing at obscene hours, and I have tonight's broadcast DVRd, I'm going to bed. I hope your ratings on the west coast suck, because you suck.

Word.