Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tick tock, tick tock

This article is further proof that ANY no-talent ass-clown in America can be "famous" and that the media and American consumers are to blame for making them that way.

This is nothing new...several big names come to mind when I think of people that are famous for, well, being famous (Kim Kardashian and the Hilton hags, to name a few). But Joe the Plumber (who's not actually a licensed plumber) is now on the campaign trail with John McCain, has hired a publicist to handle his appearances (Really? Appearances? Bitch, please.), and is now apparently going to do a country music CD. What is wrong with the world?! Gag me with a spoon! Please!

But, there is a bright side: possibly the awesomest thing the McCain campaign could do is to let this guy be a spokesman for their cause. Here, take a gander at a recent quote:

"I got a challenge to Obama. He's a man of mystery," he told FOX News Thursday. "He seems to get a slide on absolutely everything. American people want to vote for somebody who can't even come out and speak straight. That's pretty crazy to me."

No no, honey bunches of oats...what's crazy is that people actually *listen* to you. And what in the blue hell do you know about speaking straight? Sweet Jesus, what does the first part of your quote even mean!? You can't challenge to someone. You can challenge them to something, or issue a challenge to them. And what, exactly, is a "slide" in this context?

Oh hell, why am I even trying? I can't even fathom what he's trying to say. I fully expect Ashton Kutcher to jump out of the bushes any second to let us all know that we've been Punk'd. You listening, Kutcher?! Any time you're ready to let us all in on this ridiculously elaborate (but well-orchestrated) joke is fine by me!

Thank GOD the election will be over next week. You hear that ticking, Joe? That's the sound of your unbelievably asinine 15 minutes coming to an end. And not a minute too soon. Holy shit on a stick...

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