2:00 for Roughing

Fin.

2011-01-06T22:21:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time coming, but I think this will be my last post. Ever.

Its not that I haven't loved blogging, because I really have. Writing was, and still is, one of my favorite things to do. But, blogging has gotten me into more trouble than its worth (not lately, though!) because of my inability to edit myself. That, and I just don't feel the need to share everything that happens in my life anymore.

For what it's worth, you can still follow me on Twitter if you feel so inclined. And yes, I realize what I just did there...and I'm cool with it. For now, 140 characters is enough. I've also got Facebook, but be aware, if we haven't actually met at some point, I probably won't accept your friend request. Nothing personal...

Thank you all for reading over the years and for hanging in there through all the twists and turns my life has taken. I wish you all the best. Much love.

Hiatus...

2010-09-05T20:05:00.001-07:00

Hi gang. I have a lot going on these days. Between regular M-Th classes and labs, my Tuesday afternoon volunteer gig, working out at a break-neck pace in an attempt to lose a final few inches/pounds, and finalizing the details of my wedding to DJC (which happens on October 29th), I am struggling to fit it all in. Hate to say it, but blogging is pretty dang far down the list of things that I need to keep up with.

I might pop in periodically, but if I am being honest with myself, things might be pretty quiet around here until mid November. Hope that everyone is doing well and hanging in there. I'll be back eventually. Promise. =)

Next week...

2010-08-22T18:32:00.001-07:00

Monday: Crash 10am anatomy class that is completely full and the waiting list closed. Try my best to get in. I don't have a plan B if I cannot get into this class...and I REALLY need to get in.
Squeeze in a workout at some point. I drank so much damn beer this weekend that I totally derailed my wedding diet. At some point, I will need to call the various schools to see where the hell my transcripts are. I paid for the damn rush processing this time and still, they're not arriving.

Tuesday: 8am statistics class. No need to crash this one...I'm already in. Glide volunteering in the afternoon. Squeeze into yoga pants and squeeze in another workout. Bug the people who have offered to write me letters of rec to actually write them and submit them.

Wednesday: Crash the very same anatomy class in hopes that a few spots have opened up. Later in the afternoon, crash the lab. Hopefully, my persistence will pay off and the professor will let me in. Either that, or he'll be so annoyed me and let me in anyways. In the evening, DJC and I are meeting with our officiant to start planning out how our wedding ceremony will go. Chinese food will be consumed, no workout will happen.

Thursday: Statistics again. Hitting the gym in the early afternoon. In the evening, head out to SF for a Glide HIV Services dinner/drinkfest. I will try to stay away from the beer.

Friday: Aaaaah, no classes. The only thing on the schedule is a fun meetup with BT and LOTS of delicious tapas here, and then possibly some dancing.

Saturday: Second appointment with my wedding dress, this time with the shoes. Alterations begin, and I re-commit to my diet. Submit my PA application to CASPA. Cross fingers. Pray.

So, as you can see, I'm BUSY. I apologize for the upcoming lack of posting. Hopefully, things will settle down soon. But probably not until after the wedding in October. UGH!

I. Can't. Breathe.

2010-08-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

On Thursday afternoon, the call that I've been anticipating all summer finally came. My wedding dress had arrived in the store and was ready for me to try on.

I immediately went into a bit of a panic. You see, I purchased my dress in December of 2009. Its been a VERY long time since I've seen it, and even longer since I last tried it on. I was nervous, to say the least. What if I no longer liked the style? Or the color? Or, and this was my biggest fear, what if my body size had increased drastically since I was measured back in December? What if the darn thing didn't fit? What if I looked *gulp* fat? AAAH! The anxiety was literally enough to keep me up at night. Like, I would fall asleep and wake not an hour later and just lie in bed totally stressed out.

Nevertheless, I made an appointment for yesterday afternoon, threw my Spanx in my purse, skipped breakfast and lunch and dragged AG with me to the shop. I was excited, and nervous and I had no idea what I was in for, but I knew I wasn't going to go in with a full stomach!

I'm sure those of you that have been through this ordeal are currently nodding your heads in complete understanding. If not, let me be clear....I was *terrified*. I mean, this is THE DRESS. The one I will wear on the day I become Mrs. DJC. To say I was scared was a gross underestimation of what I was feeling. I parked the car, got out to walk towards the shop, and immediately started to sweat. When I saw my dress hanging in the dressing room, my breathing rate and pulse increased. And then I put it on...

I think the lady helping me offered me some water and a chair. Apparently, I looked ill. I certainly felt ill. I stood there taking short, shallow, rapid breaths while she laced up the corset. I felt cold and clammy and hot and dizzy and faint as I tried to hold it all together. The lacing seemed to take WAY too long and I started to believe that something was wrong with the dress. My god, I had gotten fatter, I thought! How can this be?! NOOOO! I felt vaguely nauseated. All my hard work at the gym hadn't paid off at all.

But then, she started to pull. She warned me to hold on before the yanking began, but I didn't really know what she meant. Then I realized she was pulling so hard that I actually couldn't breathe! I panicked for reals this time. But as quickly as it had started, the panic was gone and I could breathe. Everything was OK. She continued working her way down and when she had finally finished, I walked out into the viewing room with all the crazy mirrors.

And you know what? I was (and still am) TOTALLY happy with my dress. Its gorgeous. And thanks to the corset from hell, I actually have a waist and a really nice shape. AG took endless amounts of pictures to send to my mom in Florida. I'm so excited for the big day. There are some pretty extensive alterations that need to happen (because I'm not a 6' tall model), but I think its going to be absolutely lovely...

...and perfect, minus about ten pounds. ;)

Quick recap

2010-08-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

Lately, there's been a lot going on. Here's a brief rundown so that all five of you are up to speed...

1. I'm currently taking a SUPER intensive six day medical terminology course. Its essentially an entire semester's worth of work in six days. The class is scheduled to start at 9am. In reality, the professor shows up at 9:15 or 9:25ish, and because people know he's always late, most come at 9:30 or 9:40. What this means is that the professor will wait to start class until everyone is present. While we're all waiting, he leaves the classroom. Generally the class starts everyday at about 9:45am. The professor has been teaching this class for nineteen years and he's decided that its best to give us all of the exam questions ahead of time and let us hunt and pick through the textbook for the answers. During the time while we're working, the professor leaves the room again. What this amounts to is A LOT of sitting around and playing around with my cell phone. Anyone who's taken anatomy or physiology in the last decade can answer most of the questions without looking in the textbook, but hang on, there's a catch. He wants the definitions regurgitated VERBATIM from the textbook on the exam. When I heard this, I just shook my head in disbelief. Combine this class with the English professor who wanted papers written *just so*, this has become the summer of non-learning. Laaaaaaame. Only two days left, though.

2. I bought two pairs of jeans yesterday that are both one size smaller than what I usually wear. WOOT! I owe that to the repetition of RPM and all of the other classes I take, and how many freaking calories I burn!

3. Wedding, wedding, wedding! AAAAAH! Its less than three months away! We're feverishly trying to tie up all the loose ends and figure out all the little details that I never thought I'd have to deal with. Its just nuts. But I'm super excited and will hopefully have a little more motivation to stick to my diet when my dress comes in this month. Its gonna be a good time!!

4. PA school applications are due September 1st. I've been slowly chipping away at it, but I haven't even started on my narrative yet and need to still get my letters of recommendation in order. I'm getting a little nervous about this. I don't have a plan B if I don't get in. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

5. I've had a MONSTER cold lately and don't really feel like doing a damn thing. Studying, working, anything...its just not getting done. I can't even find enough energy to cough properly sometimes.

6. The gig at Glide's HIV Services is still going really well. We've recently set up a Facebook page to help spread the word about what we're doing there. If you haven't already visited and become a fan, this is my shameless plug and request to do so. And don't forget to suggest it to your friends (especially if they live in SF, and are MSMs, IDUs or trans-folk). Thanks!!!

Ok, I've got to head out and do something today. I think the laundry is the big winner. Ugh.

I give up! Uncle! Uncle!

2010-07-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

Earlier this morning, I turned in my final paper for possibly the most insanely difficult junior college class I've ever taken. My professor has a PhD in literature from a VERY liberal women's college and I swear, the woman could find a rape scene or rape intentions in ANY piece of written work. Here's a million dollar term that might garner some strange looks if you manage to use in conversation: vagina dentata. On day freaking one of summer session English 1B, she dropped the vagina dentata bomb on us. Imagine the looks of sheer terror on the faces of those who are not native English speakers. Pure. Comedy.

This class was ridiculous, though, because of suggestions like this (I know this is a lot to read, but trust me, it'll give you great insight into what I was up against):

Take the following quote from The Merchant of Venice: “…Renowned suitors, and her sunny locks hang on her temples like a golden fleece…” (citation). After the quote, you’d have to explain what “renowned” means. What does it signify? Then you’d unpack the puns. “Locks” means hair and padlocks. We only lock up items that are valuable, but it is also a form of punishment; such as being locked away for life. Lock also suggests unity or a union, as in marriage, such as in the phrase: lip-lock. You’d also have to entertain the word sunny. I’d say that it relates to golden and golden means monetary value and aesthetic value, as in a golden tan. Then we have golden fleece. Gold by itself = wealth and beauty but golden fleece is an allusion to a Greek myth. The golden fleece gives Jason the power of invisibility and he uses this power to kill Medusa, a powerful woman. Medusa can turn men to stone, which is interesting because of the phrase “blinded by beauty.” Instead of being blinded by beauty, one is turned to stone from her ugliness and the hero must triumph over her. Mankind either suffers from woman’s beauty or suffers from her ugliness and thus mankind must be saved.

Oh my GOD, fuck me in the goat-ass! Unpack the puns?! Are you kidding me?! I thought I was a decent writer, but I never stood a chance against this woman. I could take a trillion English classes and never think the way she does. To me, the above "suggestion" qualifies as reading into ONE LINE of a very long play WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much. She said that if we couldn't get all of that out of one line, we weren't being very sophisticated. If that's the case, I'm as barbaric as they come. Sadly, to get a decent grade on any of the fourteen (yes, fourteen) papers that she had us write in a mere six weeks, you had to think exactly like she did. If she didn't agree with what you wrote, your grade would suffer.

For me, what this lead to was finding abstract inspiration from an episode of Oprah that featured Jessica Simpson, for crying out loud. I also managed to contort and twist and completely mutilate a Dave Matthews song...not surprisingly, she loved these two papers. Also not surprising was that these were the two papers I was the least proud of. I didn't believe in a single word I wrote and felt that I was handing in an absolute pile of shit, and yet she raved about my creativity.

Bottom line here is that I just couldn't win. If I wrote about things that I believed in, I got C's (C's!!). If I vomited baloney onto sheets of paper that lacked any sort of coherent idea, she was pleased, but still not in the mood to hand out an A. I've honestly never had so much trouble figuring out what a professor wanted before! Even when I got my papers back and read through the pages of comments, I still didn't get it...nothing was clarified, nothing was made easier to understand.

With the final paper handed in, I can't do anything but just hope that she sees some improvement in my ability to give her something that she agrees with. Because otherwise, I just earned myself another C in an English class.

I also apologize for the lack of posting around here lately, but Professor Vagina Dentata Rape Scene really killed my desire to write for fun. Now that I'm finished with her class, I will hopefully get back to enjoying the mindless blather that takes place here...

Hi honey, how was your day at the office?

2010-07-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

Things I never knew existed, but have since learned come in VERY handy during an HIV counseling session at Glide (and because I'm a total demure prude, I'll let you either Google the terms yourself, or ask me in the comments for the definitions):

1. Booty bump
2. Gummy gobbler
3. Gaffle pussy
4. The location of the sole tranny-only needle exchange in the city
5. Banana hand job
6. PNP, JO, DDF, MSM, IDU
7. Bottom or vers
8. Poppers

During a session today, a sex worker said, "My coochie don't do nothin' but make me money." If that's not in a rap song, it needs to be. You got that, Lil' Wayne? She. Was. Comedy.

The things that come up in sessions astonish me sometimes. I swear, I am the prudest, squarest white girl around. I wonder if the people I counsel secretly think I am too square to be doing this (and the funny thing is that I'm not all that square!). Seriously, I have so much to learn.

Fat cat on a little fence

2010-06-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

Remember Professor Socks and Nitten? Sometimes when we drive by in the mornings, he is sitting on the fence. DJC speculates that it is because the ground is cold and he doesn't like it. Whatever the reason, its hilarious to see such a fat cat balancing on a tiny little fence. His rolls are literally spilling over the sides! I love this cat. The owners probably think I've totally gone nuts...I'm always driving by the house in hopes of catching a glimpse of their spellbindingly fat cat and then stopping to snap a few pics when he is out.

Yeah, I'm definitely heading down that road...

But seriously, how effing cute are these pics?!?!

Phoney Baloney

2010-06-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Chris Brown,

You know that performance at the BET Awards that everyone's talking about from last night? Yeah, that one:

(for those who like MJ, he actually does a pretty cool impersonation...but for everyone else, let the thing load and then skip to about 1:55)

You're full of shit and no one believes that those crocodile tears were genuine. The only thing you're crying about is that you single-handedly destroyed your own career when you beat up Rihanna.

Now, move along. Ain't nobody buyin' what you're sellin', you little whack-ass busta. That's all.

Adventures in literature

2010-06-21T12:39:00.001-07:00

Today was the first day of my 7:30am summer class, English 1B. I took English 1A in 1994 during my undergraduate years when I cared only about sleeping, partying, dancing, drinking and springboard diving...in that order. Note that academics didn't even make the top 5. Hence, my grade was an abysmal C+. I completely missed the point of the class and really didn't care to get it, either.

Now, I know that a C+ won't get me too far in the graduate world, nursing or otherwise. So, I awoke WAY before my alarm this morning and rolled begrudgingly out of bed, cursing my lack of academic focus back when I was 18. I made myself a large cup of Starbucks Via (which is actually pretty decent), and headed out the door to rectify my C+. Once I arrived on campus, everything went to hell in a handbag. Quickly.

I couldn't remember where the class was supposed to meet. I tried going to the administration office to look at a class schedule, but they didn't open until 8am. I tried finding the class on my phone, but as much as I LOVE my Palm, the web browser blows. Big time. I wandered aimlessly until the bookstore opened at 7:45 and I was able to figure out where the hell I was supposed to go. I hoofed it over to the portable classrooms, took a seat in the back and tried not to call too much attention to the fact that I was nearly twenty minutes late.

The professor sent us all an email on Saturday that included 29 pages of poetry to review before the first class today. TWENTY NINE pages of poetry. I can think of nothing I would like to read LESS that twenty nine pages of poetry (I will tackle my feelings on poetry in a different post). She also gave us a two page handout of literary terms to be discussed in class. While she was trying to come up with an example of alliteration in rap music, I foolishly raised my hand and offered my two cents, courtesy of Notorious BIG:

"Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip chamgpagne when we thirstaaaaay"

As soon as I finished, the class became very quiet. Everyone looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my nose. I turned about nine shades of red and immediately made a mental note to pipe down and not speak again. People began to snicker and the professor said, "We're all really excited about what you just said...on the inside." I've never felt so lame and embarrassed. Ugh.

Later in the class, though, the professor attempted to make up for it by using the Yin Yang Twins lyric "Like Short said, 'Let Bruce Bruce hit it'" as an example of allusion. I felt less lame, but only a little. I mean, at least I quoted a decent hip hop song so I had that going for me, but I still felt like a major idiot.

If today is any indication of how the rest of the summer is going to go, it's gonna be a loooooooong six weeks, ya'll. "Let Bruce Bruce hit it"....eff me.

Sunday celebration

2010-06-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

For the past couple weeks, I've been volunteering one day a week at Glide Memorial in their HIV drop-in testing center. I've been shadowing certified HIV counselors so that I can learn the skills necessary to conduct my own counseling sessions once I attend the formal training. Its been an infinitely interesting time thus far. I've learned so much. And I'm genuinely happy to be there and to help out however I can. I haven't felt truly happy about a line of "work" since my athletic training days.

About two weeks ago, the parish pastors came up to the clinic to get HIV tests and take a few pictures that would be shown on the big screen at Celebration (their word for Sunday "mass" or "service"). The idea was to talk about testing and how easy and painless it is in front of the whole congregation...to let everyone know that Glide offers more than a great church experience and a free meal. We would then offer the rapid tests right after Celebration to whomever wanted one. The pastors figured that it would be a good way to show people that the tests aren't scary and that knowing one's HIV status is important.

You see, Glide isn't like any regular church. They don't care what your religious affiliation is, who you share your bed with, if you've had substance abuse issues, if you've got no place to call home, if you've had a shower in the last month, or what gender you identify with. Everyone is welcome with open arms and without judgment. Their message of radical inclusiveness is evident in every program they offer, not just in the church side of things. The message is spiritual and non-denominational. Its really an amazing place.

Anyway, today was the day for the pictures to be shown and for testing. I arrived not knowing what to expect, but was quickly pulled into the positive feeling of the people I spoke with. I attended Celebration, which is the first time I've stepped foot in a church in probably seven or eight years. I'm not exactly what you'd call a church-going kind of gal. But that's probably because I'd never been to this particular church.

Imagine a full band, a choir of about 30 people front and center on the stage and pews packed with smiling faces. Then, the singing started. There was SO. MUCH. SINGING. And clapping. And dancing. And joy...180 degrees from the regimented, terribly stoic Catholic church services I've attended previously. I've honestly never had so much fun at church.

The pastors kept the talking and preaching to a minimum. They'd say a few sentences that were inspiring without being all "Praise Jesus!!", and then the choir, composed of ALL kinds of people, would start again. And then the congregation would stand and the clapping, dancing, and singing would start up again as well. Even though I didn't know the songs, I clapped and shifted my weight from side to side in time with the beat just the same. I'd say more than 75% of the Celebration consisted of singing and dancing.

There were technical issues that prevented the pictures we'd taken previously from being shown, but the director of HIV services conducted a rapid test on one of the pastors stage instead. The Celebration finished with a sermon from a trans-gender pastor and a few announcements from drag queens about the Glide float for next weekend's Pride Parade.

All told, we tested about fifteen people today. But hundreds heard the announcement that Glide offers free confidential testing five days a week. Hopefully, the numbers at the walk-in clinic will increase next week. I shook lots of hands, gave lots of hugs and smiled more than I have in a long time. The positivity was absolutely contagious.

From what I understand, I'm very lucky to have scored a volunteer position here as there are always a TON of people wanting to help. I am also hoping to help out in the medical part of the clinic soon, as the skills I already possess could be put to immediate use with minimal training. We'll see, though. For now, I'm just happy to be there learning and doing whatever I can...

In Living Color

2010-06-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Arvay posed an interesting question today via Gmail chat:

"Why did I say "Homey don't play that" the other day? What does it refer to? I can't even remember. My younger friends had never heard it."

Ummm, that's because younger kids never had the pleasure of watching the AWESOMEST TV show ever, In Living Color. Its really a shame that TV shows like this don't exist anymore. Variety type shows have been replaced by inane reality TV or reality competitions (So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway excepted) and sitcoms are as lame as they've ever been.

So, younger kids, here's Homey D. Clown in all his glory:

I honestly laughed out loud like five times. This is just as funny today as it was when it originally came out. Love it! Thanks to Arvay for the reminder. Laughing is so much fun and who couldn't use more laughter in their lives?!

Neighborhood cats

2010-06-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

I grew up having cats as pets. I loved how my calico cat would curl up on my lap on a rainy day and keep me warm and entertained with her hilarious personality. Alas, DJC is horribly allergic (like, more than you, BT) and can't even stand to be in the same car with a coworker who frequently has cat hair on his clothes. So, the idea of us getting a cat is out. Sad face.

I still love cats, though, and enjoy seeing various cats around the neighborhood. I sometimes take pictures of the felines that I encounter on walks or while driving somewhere. I email them to DJC because he actually likes cats, too...he just can't be around them at all. Anyways, here are some of our favorite neighborhood cats, with the names that we've given them...because we don't actually know their real names. Yes, we're those people....we rename other people's pets.

This is Neighborcat. Today was the first time we'd ever seen him, but he was super cute and meowed a lot. He seemed interested in us, but not enough to come over and allow me to pet him.

This is Paws. He is VERY skittish and doesn't like us, but hangs out in our backyard and under our cars pretty frequently. He has four white paws, hence the name.

We took a different route home today on our walk in hopes of seeing more cats. And we did. This orange one didn't even bother looking at us as we walked by, so there was no chance for me to pet it.

The first time we saw this little guy, he was up on his back paws, reaching up to a girl's hand so that she would continue petting him. We instantly called him Small Jumping Gray Cat. Today, I got to experience the jump for myself. This little guy couldn't get enough and would literally get up on his hind legs to get to my hand. He was so sweet and allowed me to pet him for about five minutes before he had enough and walked away. So sweet...and so like a cat to just walk away on his terms.

We like all of these cats just fine, but our favorites are the tortoiseshell cats that live down the street from the Small Jumping Gray Cat. At first, we only saw the super fat one, but then one day I saw TWO of them!! I had a minor freak-out and immediately stopped to take pictures. The one with the white bib is much smaller, but equally as unique and CUTE! I sometimes fantasize about stealing them. Really. DJC and I will text each other when we've seen them because we adore them so much. We're weird, I know, but just look at how cute they are:

What did we name these little cats? The fat one is Professor Socks and Nitten. Yeah, don't ask because I simply don't have an answer...I was going for Socks and MITTENS and got "nitten" instead. LOL. The name stuck. The smaller one is the white-bibbed nitten. *shrug*

Lastly, we have the black and white drooling cat. This friendly gal lives across the street from AG and sometimes I will arrive several minutes early at her house just so I can visit with this cat. If you listen closely, you can hear the purring. The drooling grosses DJC out, but my calico cat used to drool, too. I think its strangely cute.

I miss having a pet but with all these cool cats all over the neighborhood, its almost just as good. Almost...

A minor facelift

2010-06-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

Nothing unusual to see here...

Continue to read as infrequently as I decide to post...

That said, hope you like the new look. Go Blogger!

No comparison

2010-06-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Yes indeed, ya'll...this IS Lady Gaga before she went off the deep end and started channeling the hell out of Madonna and Roisin Murphy. THIS is talent. THIS would have sold plenty of records on its own merits, without all the insane costumes and eccentricity. But people like a spectacle, and Lady Gaga is nothing if not exactly that. Too bad all that musical talent had to fall victim to her image...

P.S. I HATE when people compare her work to Madonna. Madonna did stuff like this. And this:

No one can touch that shit. Lady Gaga is good, but I just finished watching her new video for "Alejandro" (yeah, I put eight whole minutes in!), and she might need to take a different angle. Madonna's schtick was successful because no one had ever done it before. Lady Gaga's vids are a good attempt at originality, but when I can recognize elements from at least four of Madonna's videos, she can't be considered on the same level.

No one can touch Madonna. Period.

Colores

2010-06-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

From L to R: Dim Sum Plum, Chopsticking to My Story, the little one is What's With the Cattitude, Jade is the New Black, You Don't Know Jacques. All colors are matte.

BT can attest to the fact that I'm a bona fide nail polish junkie. My dismal academic performance during my sophomore (and possibly my junior) year of college can probably be attributed to my constant nail polishing and grooming. The colors pictured above are some of my spring/summer favorites. I'm currently sporting the green on my both my toes and fingernails. Its very different for me, but kinda cool. Dim Sum Plum is adorable on my toes. You Don't Know Jacques is a little too trendy right now and when more than two people in a day can identify it by name, I'm not likely to be using it too frequently. The green, though...its unexpected and fun.

That's all. No real point to this post. Just wanted to show off some pretty colors on a sunny day...

This might be the cutest thing I have ever seen

2010-06-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!!

Minor annoyances

2010-06-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

I got an email from my nutrition professor this morning informing me that her Excel program had made an error in calculating my final grade and she only caught it after grades had been submitted. So, instead of the A that I had earned by accumulating the highest scores on three exams and completing the extra credit assignment, my final grade in the LAMEST class I have ever taken is currently a B. NOT OK. She did say that she's working on fixing it with the college administration, but she's also going out of town for the entire summer and knowing how long things generally take to get done at this school, I better stay on top of it. Lovely.

I did manage to nail down an A in pathophysiology, though. And that's nice!

On my volunteer application for Planned Parenthood, I found this question: "What does pro-choice mean to you?" And then, there was literally ONE LINE to tackle that very complex question. Dude, can I attach additional pages? I could write lots about that deceptively simple question. Like the Oxford One-Word Admission essays...except this is one question.

Parents, WHY do some of you purchase the ear piercing squeaky shoes for your special little snowflakes (credit for that goes to Miss Plumcake) and then let them run out of control in a quiet office? Its just mind boggling, really. Look, I'm sure Aiden and Alannah will be JUUUUUUUUUST fine without you having to hear their every little precious step. And if you can't locate your children by sight and have to listen for their squeaky whereabouts, well, you're just not cut out for this whole parent thing.

DJC and I recently watched Food Inc. for the aforementioned nutrition class and I have to say, DAMN, that movie has me a little more than messed up diet-wise. And when I say "diet", I don't mean a reduction of calories or cutting out this or that in hopes of losing weight. Diet, in this case, is simply the things that I eat on a daily basis. Because of that movie (and partially due to my nutrition professor's semi-Nazi stance on minimally processed foods), DJC and I are really re-evaluating what and more importantly, HOW we eat. What does this mean in practical terms? More local, organic veggies from small farms. More farmers' markets. Less red meat. NO fast food (I still love you Taco Bell!). NO foods with HFCS. Knowing where our chicken has come from. More fiber. More natural vitamins and minerals.

I think that everyone should see this movie. Its 100% disturbing but also factual. Food, instead of remaining a source of nourishment for humans, has become a big business controlled by a bunch of mulitnational nightmare corporations who have little to no concern for animals, their own workers and least of all, consumers. I shouldn't have been surprised by anything I saw in this movie, but I really was. I had no idea just how out of hand things have gotten. Yes, getting through the whole movie will suck, but I think everyone needs to see just what's behind what we eat.

I miss you Crunchwrap Supreme...but it's for the best.

Bits and bobs

2010-05-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a woman in the bathroom of the downtown SF Hyatt asked me, totally seriously, if I was a plus-sized model. Them's fightin' words, ya'll. Like, srsly. But I brushed it off, because damn it, I DID look good last night. WORD. Today, a lady at the grocery store motioned to me and called me "that skinny bitch over there". Hmmm. Yesterday I was plus-sized. Today, I'm skinny, and apparently, a bitch. Well, at least she got part of it right. I guess whether I'm fat or thin very much depends on geography and the nationality of the person complimenting/insulting me. The lady who thought I was fat was white, and the one who saw me as skinny was African-American. I'm not trying to say anything here, it was just interesting...

Ummm, finals are next week. This week, I have a pathophysiology research paper to start/ finish, a schematic map of a disease process complete with drawings to start/ finish (and for those who didn't know, I can't draw for SHIT!), and a patho take-home final consisting of eleven essay questions to finish. Several of us decided we would split up the questions to make it easier on everyone, but when I read one of my classmate's answers stating that glucose gets converted into fructose in the cell (FRUCTOSE!!! Bloody hell!), I pretty much realized I'd have to do it all myself. Fuck group projects. Ugh. I have so much work to do, I'm scared to even start. Tick tock...

The rings. I picked them up from the jeweler last week. Here they are, complete with my dry, non-moisturized, wrinkly hands:

Not gonna lie, I can't stop thinking about them. When I walk by the box, I take them out, put them on and admire how damn sparkly they are. The fact that I have to wait until October to officially wear them will make it all the more special when DJC finally puts them on my finger. I'd like to think that my grandma would be pleased.

Been across the Bay Bridge lately? The "rumble strips" might be an even lamer idea than the S-curve itself. My god, Cal Trans. EPIC fail on that one!

A friend who sells Boheme wines gave us a bottle of their chardonnay to try in hopes that we might have it at our wedding. I'm not really into chards, but DAMN, this one was really good. We both loved it. Then DJC and I Googled the price. $38/ bottle. No wonder we liked it! Sheesh! That's easily the most expensive bottle of wine we've had all year. Despite the fact that its absolutely delicious, I think its safe to say that we won't be offering this to people who regularly drink Riuinite on Ice (Riunite so nice!) and wouldn't know the difference anyways.

I'm volunteering at Glide Memorial Church in SF these days. So far, I've only met with their clinic director and handed out hygiene kits on one occasion, but I'm hoping that he'll have more for me to do very soon. Its an amazing program!

That's all. Bed is calling. Like, now....

Hilarity lately

2010-05-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

Do yourself a favor:

Go to the nearest bookstore, carve out roughly thirty minutes (you'll understand why in a sec), find Chelsea Handler's latest book called Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and go straight to the chapter entitled "Black on Black Crime".

You'll get through it in less than the allotted thirty minutes, but you'll need that extra time to catch your breath, re-read it and thoroughly appreciate the pictures. Yes, there are pictures. The whole chapter is literally laugh-out-loud hilarious and is possibly the funniest thing I have read in a long time. If there wasn't photographic proof, I might have accused her of making it up. But, it was real. And its incredibly funny.

You can thank me later...when you can breathe again. =)

Wedding Updates

2010-05-08T18:49:00.000-07:00

I checked in on my dress today. You know, the dress I ordered back in December. Because DJC and I aren't tying the knot until October, the manufacturer hasn't even begun to make my gorgeous frock. Its due in the store in August. I want to try it on before August, but I totally understand the store not wanting to hold it for months and months. Sigh.

We've got a tasting scheduled at our caterer's on Wednesday. Hells to the Yeah for free food! And damn tasty food at that. Word.

And now, on to the most exciting thing....

My mom recently sent me a package that included two of my grandmother's buttons from her wedding dress (that will be sewn onto my dress) and three rings: one from my maternal grandmother and two from my paternal grandmother, who just recently passed on after 96 years of hilariously ornery one-liners. My aunt had sent them to my mother because she has two sons, both of whom are already married, and had no idea what to do with the rings. My mother gladly accepted them and mailed them over to me, stating that I could probably use the stones to make my own ring.

Well, the band on my maternal grandmother's ring was worn clean through. It was her original engagement ring that she wore for over seventy years. It was delicate and in serious need of some TLC. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. But my paternal grandmother's rings were a different story. They were both in very good condition and both beautiful. Upon seeing them, I instantly decided that I would have the band of diamonds re-sized and that I would wear it as my wedding band. But, I figured I'd just take the stones from the other ring to use in a custom design. That is, until I spoke with the jewelry maker and owner of 14 Karats in Berkeley.

He convinced me that I would be foolish to destroy the rings for the stones. He said that the ring was unique, ornate, and a very beautiful heirloom. I would regret it if I did anything but have it cleaned up and re-sized so that I could wear both rings together. And after a nanosecond of thought, that's exactly what I am going to do.

I called my aunt today to tell her about my plans. She was so pleased and overwhelmed that she began to cry, which, of course, made me cry, too. She told me that my grandmother had asked that she take good care of her rings after she passed and she was so happy that I would be wearing them. I loved my grandma very much and am very proud to be wearing such memorable pieces as a symbol of my commitment and love for DJC.

As for my maternal grandma's ring, I have decided to have it rebuilt and will give it as a peace offering to my sister. She was pissed about the fact that I got all three rings, so hopefully this will put out the fire. The guys at 14 Karats promised me that they could make the ring look new again. Kerry and his father John were so nice and helpful. They even cleaned up my engagement ring free of charge and offered AG and I cold beer and anything else we wanted from the "bar". DJC loves the idea of a "bar" in a jewelry store...he'll be back to try their scotch soon.

So, that's all on the wedding front for now. We're chugging along. We're both trying to lose weight. We're crossing things off the list. Slowly, it's all getting done and coming together....

Just another day in paradise

2010-05-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

I awoke to a VERY sunny morning today. After discovering that a bird had stepped in mud (where the hell is there mud around here these days?) and then walked his little bird feet all over my car's hood, I knew that I would have to wash the car. No biggie, though. It was gorgeous and warm. I threw on a tank top, and a pair of running shorts and got down to business.

But, the sun felt so good, I didn't want to go inside. So, I laced up my running shoes and went for a walk/run. Thanks to the awesome camera on my new phone, I was able to snap some pretty cool shots across the street from our house:

I was only outside for about an hour and a half total (including the car wash), but the sun was so strong that I still managed to get a pretty decent sunburn. I didn't even think about sunscreen, but now I'm wishing I would have.

Oh well, it was still a lovely day and I'm happy that the sun seems to be here to stay...at least for this week.

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, I love you and hate you all at the same time

2010-04-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a picture of a floor. Whoop-dee-doo, right? Well, look a little closer and you'll see why I'm blogging about a floor. Notice any lighter, more clean tiles? Yeah, so do I every time I walk into the room. Here's how it all went down...

In light of all the freaking beer we had in the fridge and to celebrate our neighbors finally moving out, DJC and I invited a few people over last weekend. This meant some serious cleaning ahead of time. DJC spotted some scuff marks on the floor of one of our rooms where people usually congregate. He asked me if the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser could take care of them. I crouched down on the floor and began scrubbing. Sure enough, the scuffs came right up...along with god only knows how many years of dirt and grime. And then, it happened.

Once I saw the clean tiles, I couldn't stop. I scrubbed until my arm was totally fatigued and cleaned up quite a bit of schmutz. But the bad thing is that I eventually did have to stop well before I had a chance to do the whole floor. Reason 1: My arm was literally shaking. Reason 2: I completely used up the entire Magic Eraser. Reason 3: People were due any minute.

Now, our floor looks splotchier than Michael Jackson's once-black skin and face (forgive me, MJ!). I recently brought home six Magic Erasers to finish the job. I figure if I can knock out several tiles at a time over a period of a few days, I won't get burned out. But, it does have to happen. The splotchiness is killin' me! Thanks, Magic Eraser. Thanks a pantload.

My life these days

2010-04-28T10:47:00.001-07:00

Get out of bed, despite how nice and warm I am. Drag self to the gym on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Drag self to nutrition and pathophysiology classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, despite the fact that the nursing schools that require these classes have already had their lotteries for their 2010 classes. Guess who didn't get in. Some days, I'll do laundry in the afternoons. Sometimes, I'll go to the gym in the evenings instead of the mornings. Most days, I need to figure out what DJC and I will be eating for dinner. Have hour-long conversation with my mother about cupcake liners, cupcake trays, flower arrangements, invitations and various other wedding things. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Honestly, I just don't have anything to blog about lately. I'm trying to figure out where the hell I'm going to go from here in terms of my schooling. I seriously looked into Heald College's Medical Assistant program, but when I got to the financial aid step, I tromped on the emergency brake. Hard. Even though all of my previous classwork would only make my education commitment 12 months as opposed to 18, I couldn't see shelling out nearly $16K for the possibility of getting myself a $20/hr (max!!) job.

I did look at another school in Berkeley whose program was only 5 months long and roughly $4,500. I spent all of five minutes at this place before bolting for the door. The "admissions counselor" didn't even have an office to take me to, and there were four (count 'em, FOUR) armed security guards at the entrance to the school. The place is located right across the street from Berkeley High School and apparently, they've experienced a few violent crimes inside the school. Great. Clearly, this was not a place that encouraged learning. I was out the door and still had 40 minutes on my parking meter.

Recently, at the urging of a friend in the program, I've started to look into UC Davis's Physician Assistant program. I've previously applied to various other PA programs and didn't even get an interview. My GPA isn't the greatest and PA programs are traditionally very competitive. After my previous disappointment, I ruled this out as an option. But since I've been taking classes towards fulfilling nursing requirements, my GPA has risen a bit. I've been reading about Davis's program and I'm seriously considering giving it a shot. I will have to take three classes this summer (one English class, one math class and I'll have to re-do anatomy because its been more than five years since I last took it), and start volunteering at various free clinics that offer medical services to underserved populations.

I'm going to Glide Memorial Church on Monday to see what I can do there. And I will be volunteering for the Shanti Project in August. I'm really looking forward to actually doing something with my time. And hopefully, my volunteer experience will help set me apart from other PA applicants. Hell, I have all the time in the world right now. I might as well do something worthwhile that may help me in the future.

So, there you have it. This is what I've been up to lately. Boring. So very boring. If you need a nap after reading this or feel asleep in the middle, I totally understand.

In the fridge currently...

2010-04-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

5 cans of Moose Drool Brown Ale (Note: Icky name. Decent beer)
2 cans of Ten Fidy Russian Imperial Stout from Oskar Blues
4 cans of Big Swell IPA from Maui Brewing Company
1 can of Siamese Twin Ale from Uncommon Brewers
1 12oz bottle of Aprihop from Dogfish Head
2 12 oz bottle of Mission Street IPA from Trader Joe's.
1 24 oz bottle of Bear Republic XP Pale Ale
1 24 oz bottle of Wilco Tango Foxtrot Ale from Lagunitas
1 24 oz bottle of Green Flash Imperial IPA
Half a bottle of Chalone Vineyard Chardonnay- probably should be thrown out.
Half a bottle of Spinyback Sauvignon Blanc- Ditto here. Didn't even know we had this as it was in the WAY back.

This is after I polished off a 4 pack of Allagash White Ale this weekend and DJC drank various bottles of his swill of choice. Rumor has it that there are at least 12 bottles of Session Black Lager from Full Sail on their way to the fridge later today. Damn ya'll...that's A LOT of alcohol. After I came home from the grocery store today and could barely fit a bag of salad in there, I knew I had to take stock of what was occupying all the space.

And yes, I sat in front of the open fridge while I cataloged its contents and didn't care how much energy I was wasting. My dad would be so disappointed. Hee-hee!

True life

2010-04-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

DJC and I have been sitting on our butts, hour after hour, engrossed in the Life series airing on the Discovery Channel (Careful, the video on the site will play automatically. You can watch all of the episodes there, though, and that's nice.) Animals are so freaking cool, ya'll. Despite the fact that Oprah Winfrey narrates the whole damn thing and the ever-present condescending tone in her voice can be heard even when she's just reading a script, the cinematography is some of the best ever.

In that same amazing vein, check out this video that was brought to my attention by a Facebook friend. This is an awfully curious little critter:

I know that videos don't replace actual content. I've got several new posts in the works, but for now, this should keep all five of you entertained. =)

I bow

2010-04-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

All the things I've wanted to say at various times, but have never had the eloquent means to do so. I love this man. Like, lots.

I joined the current century!!

2010-04-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

I finally broke down and bought a new phone. It was time. In a sea of uber-connected Twitter, Gmail, and Facebook mobile freaks, I believe I was the lone hold-out. My old phone was good for two things: Making actual phone calls and sending old school text messages. No music. No Youtube. No tweeting. It had a camera, but I can't say I used it all that frequently. I was, as my sister kindly put it, living in the stone age. Not that I was terribly bothered, though. For whatever reason, I just could never pull the trigger on a new smartphone.

But this past weekend, in a drunken, no-neighbors-in-site, euphoric haze, I gave in and upgraded. My carrier, Verizon, offers a "new every two" program, where they give you a $50 credit towards a new phone every two years. I had not upgraded in nearly three years. I checked the available phones online and found that they were offering the Palm Pre Plus for the bargain price of $49.99. With my credit, the phone was free. WOOT! Free is good, especially when you're hesitant to buy a new phone in the first place.

(A tip to Verizon folks...if you're in the market for a new phone, NEVER buy one in the store. Whatever you're looking for is almost always cheaper if you buy online. Verizon sometimes offers ludicrous online discounts of $100 or more for some phones. Yes, the instant gratification of holding new things in your hands is hard to resist, but if you can wait a day to have it shipped overnight, which they'll do for free, its always a better deal to buy online. My new Palm would have set me back $150 even after the discount had I purchased it in-store. You're welcome!)

Anyways, my gorgeous little phone arrived today. Ever since I picked it up, I've been confused. After spending nearly 40 minutes on the phone with customer support trying to get the thing programmed, I then had to set up a Palm profile, and sit through a five minute video demo/intro. There's nothing like outdated technology (and the Palm is outdated already) to make you feel like a total moron! Thank goodness for DJC who has managed to figure out more about my phone's inner workings in 30 minutes than I was able to work out all day. Awesome.

All in all, though, I'm very happy. I've got 16GB of flash memory to fill with all kinds of stuff, a Facebook app, Gmail, Google Maps and a bunch of other cool things to play with. In time, I will get more comfortable and feel less technically inept. Wonder if they have a Blogger app...

Shhhh...you hear that?

2010-04-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

That's right...there's nothing to hear! That's because our ass-tastic neighbors have FINALLY moved out. Actually, to be more exact, they were evicted. It only took months and months and MONTHS of complaining from myself, DJC and the landlord's own brother (who lives on the ground floor) to get their disruptive asses out. But no matter...they're finally gone. Holy shit.

At 6:15am yesterday, the ruckus, hooting and hollering began. And I won't lie about wanting to stomp down the stairs and beat some serious fat kid ass. But, in my sleepy haze, I realized what was happening. They were MOVING. They'd recruited everyone in a five mile radius with a crappy, run-down minivan to help and were schlepping their second hand Ikea furniture out in waves. Could this really be happening? I thought it was all a dream. It was WELL before 7am, after all. I might very well have been dreaming. Seeing them haul their possessions out of the house is a dream I've had many times, naturally.

But as I saw them drive the first load of shit away, I realized that yes indeed, they were leaving. HOLY SHIT. But because it was all of 7:30am, I went back to sleep. They came back at least two more times before I got out of bed for good at around 10am (so obviously they're not moving that far away), and then it got really quiet around here. Like the kind of quiet we haven't experienced for over a year and a half. It was totally amazing. Peaceful. Blissful, even.

In light of the human trash dump that was happening downstairs, DJC and I decided that our place could use a little cleaning, too. So we promptly packed up six garbage bags full of old clothes and shoes and dropped them off at the Salvation Army. Then we spent the rest of the day cleaning, de-clutterizing, and organizing. It's quiet AND clean in here. I freaking love it.

Never again will we have to endure the orangutan hooting and body slamming at 7am on a Sunday. Never again will we be subjected to Big-Tobacco's nasty habit (The other day, DJC actually saw him bend over and allow a finished cigarette to simply fall out of his mouth. He immediately replaced it with another one. Ick x1000) and smell his two day old nicotine funk everywhere he's been. Never again will we have to deal with the fat kids playing video games at ridiculous volumes (hooting like animals all the while) and throwing their processed food trash all around the property. We'll never have to listen to them shouting anymore. We don't have to put up with the whole family's uncooperative, holier than thou attitude. We'll no longer wake to the five car alarm warning beeps every time a semi-loud vehicle goes by or to their front door being slammed when Big Tobacco comes home from whatever he does until midnight every night.

Dear lord, they're gone. I can't tell you how nice this feels. Our place is again somewhere we feel comfortable and at home. Especially today when its raining and blustery outside. We can curl up together and actually hear the rain without the downstairs bullshit too. And because I'm sure they absolutely trashed the place (I've seen in the kitchen and Big Tobacco regularly smoked inside), its going to take quite a while for the landlord to have it ready to rent again. We've got at least two, maybe three months of QUIET in the mornings!!!! AAAAAAH!! Its like a dream.

All is right in the world....finally. =)

Plan B...and C...and maybe D

2010-04-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

Nursing schools, prerequisites, the lottery system, impossible odds of getting selected. All of this stuff has really been on my mind lately. Mostly because this year's applicant pool is more impacted than ever. Hundreds of us are vying for, like, 20 spots at each school. Its depressing when you really sit down and think about it. My chances of getting in are about as great as if I woke up one morning to find that I'd been reborn as a supermodel. See what I mean? Depressing.

In light of this fact, I realized need a backup plan. I've started looking into LVN programs in the Bay Area (LVN stands for Licensed Vocational Nurse...not quite an RN, but still employable). Problem here is that most of the schools want the anatomy requirement to have been fulfilled in the last five years, which means I will have to take yet another semester of effing prerequisites. Most RN programs, by comparison, don't have a time limit on when that class was taken. I checked my transcript...I took anatomy in 1996. Eeek.

Then there's the Western Career College problem. They offer an LVN program which, by all outward appearances, looked attractive. I went to the informational meeting, where the presenter glossed over the cost of the 16 month course of study, but it did not escape me. Mostly because my mouth was literally hanging open. They spend an extensive amount of time on financial aid in this presentation because tuition there will set you back nearly $45,000. FORTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS for the privilege of take classes at a vocational college that's located inside a mall. That's right. During your lunch break, in theory, you could go out and buy a pair of jeans and grab lunch at the Chili's all without walking outside. That is, if you could afford jeans or food after being raped for a cool $45K.

So, Plan B is out. Next, I've started to look at Medical Assistant programs. They're short (about 8 months), not prerequisite heavy, not terribly impacted, and MAs are fairly employable in all types of medical settings. See, the goal here is to gain medical experience and continue to support myself while waiting for my name to get drawn in the nursing school lottery. This, kids, is plan C. I am going to check out two such schools next week to see what the story is. The cool thing about the two I've chosen is that they offer a phlebotomy certification along with your MA license, which makes graduates instantly more employable. Bonus! Hopefully, they won't be outrageously expensive.

If neither of those schools work out, plan D involves finding an office job. Easier said than done right now, though. I've sent in some resumes, but I don't really expect to hear back from anyone. Those looking for jobs right now run into the same problem that nursing school hopefuls already know all too well...tons of applicants, one or two spots.

Plan B, C and D = one big FML.

The Big-O debacle

2010-03-31T11:25:00.000-07:00

My car eats tires for breakfast...and then snacks on them again later in the day...and then feasts on them for dinner. The funny thing is that my alignment is fine and always has been. Mechanics are frequently surprised to see the condition of my tires after the see that the alignment is cool. Yeah, me too. Anyways, recently DJC convinced me that I needed at least two new tires. So, I high-tailed it over to the Alameda Big-O. Upon walking in the door, things immediately went south.

The first person to talk to me was Brian. He informed me that the computer said that there were two tires in my size in stock, but upon trying to verify that, he was able to actually locate only one. He said that he would have to order one from the Fremont store and that it wouldn't be delivered until the next day. OK, I thought, I'll just come back. But Brian said, "WHOAAA. We have to ask you to pay for them now...you know, to reserve them." Ummm, OK. So I coughed up $120 for nothing and went home.

The next day, I returned only to find that my tires, you know, the ones I had paid for to "reserve" had been put on another car. This might have been the closest I've been to really hauling off and punching someone in a long time. To rectify the situation, Brian upgraded my tires to the next ones up for free. Whatever, I thought. Just as long as they were round, and would allow my car to move forward and back, I didn't really care. I was steaming mad.

Well, between the "technicians" taking countless cigarette and cell phone breaks, the tires somehow got mounted onto my car. I drove away two hours later. This is where things really went to hell in a handbag, though.

At speeds over 50mph my car shook violently. My freaking teeth rattled in my head. I vowed to take the car back the next day and have this whole shaking thing sorted.

The "technician" I spoke with during my second visit told me, in no uncertain terms, that they had done everything correctly the first time and that if there was a problem now, it was my fault. My car sure as hell didn't shake like that before the tires were replaced, dude! Clearly, it was my fault. Ass. Anyway, he said they'd take the tires off, re-balance them and all would be well. Two hours later, I drove off, steaming mad again.

Everything worked out this time, right? Except not so much. If anything, after the second round of balancing, the shaking and rattling and vibrations at high speeds were WORSE. I was livid. There was no way I was going to take my car back to the Alameda Big-O, so I decided to drive all the way out to Danville to have the guys there take a look. I'd had good luck with service there before and the Alameda ass-clowns were clearly entirely too busy to properly assess what was causing the shaking. Too busy or too lazy...I can't tell which.

Here's what the Danville folks found: During the first trip in to the Alamdea store, the new tires had been put on the rear (pretty standard), and the rear tires moved to the front. Well, those tires had not worn evenly and were wobbling all over the place. Apparently, a bracket had been broken during the process of the installation as well (nice). The Danville guys took the new back tires and swapped them to the front, putting the old ones back on the rear axles. And here's the cool part....they test drove it to make sure that everything was fine. Well, it wasn't. The car still shook and wobbled. They then took a look at the new tires themselves and found that one wasn't completely round (?!?!). Mind you, these are the tires I purchased less than a week ago!

The Danville guys agreed to provide a new, perfectly round tire to me at no cost, which is what is being installed currently. So, here I sit at the local Chargebucks, killing time. I'm just glad they were able to figure out what was wrong. They put in the extra effort that Alameda wasn't willing to do. Eff those turkeys. Never going back there again. Danville Big-O FO' EVA!

iPole...Part Deux

2010-03-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

After Coby's pole dancing bachelorette party, I was really excited to take another class a little closer to home. I called Sedusa Studios in Campbell and made a reservation for myself and AG about two weeks ago. Today, we headed down to the South Bay, met BL for a quick lunch and a drink, and then hustled over to the studio to make the 3pm class. We were almost late because, of course, BL offered us a shot of vodka that we couldn't turn down. A little social lubrication certainly couldn't hurt...

This studio was VERY well hidden and difficult to find. Once we walked in the door, we were greeted by the skinniest lady I have seen in a long time. She had us sign release forms and handed us 5" clear stripper heels. Yeah, these:

The Manolo would SO not approve of these. They are so tacky it hurts. AG wanted flashing lights in the soles of hers. Flashing lights could have only improved their look. The funny thing was that AG and I agreed that we were both waaaay too comfortable in these things. Scary. And, BONUS, I didn't roll an ankle or stumble in any way! WOOT!

The class itself was a bit of a disappointment. It really was geared to beginners in every sense of the word, and for coordinated folks like AG and I, it moved a little too slowly. Despite the fact that each of us had our own pole, we only learned one move on that pole, and the "combination" that Skinny Lady taught us was ridiculously short. I would have liked to learn a few more moves and spend less time working on hip circles. But then again, it was just an introductory class. Apparently, participants work all the way up to flipping upside down on the pole in the actual 5 week series (which will set you back $200), but for $25, I guess what we learned in the intro class was OK.

I managed not to injure myself at all during this class, which is a plus. But on the downside, we barely did anything but walk really slowly, touch ourselves in sexy ways, and do lots and lots of hip circles. There wasn't really a whole lot of opportunity for injury.

I think the next place AG and I are going to hit up is S-Factor in San Francisco. I have it on good word that their method is pretty tough and traditional. I'll report back if and when we give it a go.

Vai love

2010-03-11T13:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we all know that I have a serious thing for Steve Vai. True, most of what I listen to these days is heavily influenced by DJC's taste in drum n' bass, dubstep and other electronic genres (not that I'm complaining), but I will never give up or get over my ridiculous love for the simple sound of the guitar. Or in Steve Vai's case, the FUCKING AMAZING things he can do with a guitar. The man is, simply put, a guitar god (I've raved about him before here). If I were stranded on a desert island and could only take five CDs with me, "Fire Garden" would be one of them, for sure.

A few nights ago while looking for something to watch on TV, I cam across a Steve Vai concert. JACKPOT! It was ninety minutes of some of the awesomest live music ever. I've seen him live only once (the G3 tour) and I was totally blown away. While I was watching his most recent show on TV, I realized how little post-production work goes into his music. He has some seriously talented musicians in his band and they execute his vision without the help of studio tools. He writes the music for every single instrument, he arranges it, and he sometimes even sings. The man is nothing short of incredible. His sounds are lush and different and no matter what he does, you can be sure that he's always pushing things as far as he can.

Here is my favorite song from the recent TV concert:

The solo in the middle is normally performed by Vai on the guitar, but the fact that he chose to have his violinist do it instead was a genius move. Its a show-stopper. I honestly got chills. I love that his music can still do that to me.

Enjoy, peeps. =)

Fitness fanatics

2010-03-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

The gym I give my heart and soul to on a daily basis, the Bladium, teaches Les Mills classes. I think I've raved about them before on my blog in various forms (RPM, BodyJam, BodyPump, BodyFlow, etc), but here's a closer look. You'll understand why in a sec...

Basically, the Les Mills programs, which also include step, kickboxing, and good old fashioned high-low 80's aerobics, were developed in New Zealand and have since become VERY popular around the world. The choreography and music are updated quarterly. Each new "release" is sent out to instructors world-wide and for a period of time, everyone around the world does the same stuff in their classes. For example, my good friend R is currently in Beirut and he and I have talked about the releases for RPM and BodyCombat. Its pretty cool that we're taking the same classes even though he's on the other side of the world. When he comes back to the US, he'll be able to jump right in without missing a beat.

Its impossible to take a class from any of the Bladium's high-energy instructors without getting sucked into the Les Mills world. The classes and choreography are so well designed that you can't help but feel motivated and excited to come back for more. Yes, they're a hell of a workout, but what makes it so easy to get hooked is that they're FUN. I honestly never thought I'd really enjoy the BodyStep class, but I don't even realize that I'm kicking my own ass because I'm having such a good time. Same goes for BodyCombat and BodyJam. It also helps that the music and choreo change so frequently. Les Mills makes it easy to have a good time while working out. Crazy, I know.

Anyways, on to the point of this post....Every four months, Les Mills holds a Quarterly Conference in various cities to celebrate the release of their new material. One of these conferences just took place in Santa Clara, CA last weekend. Originally, they were only for instructors to get a sneak peak of the new releases, but recently, members were included as well. A large group of ladies from the Bladium all decided to go, and when Brent, one of the Step instructors, egged me on, I joined in as well.

I had no idea what to expect. I knew that it was an entire day of fitness, with classes running back to back from 7am until 6pm, but what exactly did that mean? Well, lemme tell you, this was like nothing I've ever seen in my life! A full stage. Lighting effects. Participants dressed up for their favorite class (like wearing hip-hop clothes for Jam or wearing cammo stuff for Combat). It was nuts! It was like a concert/rave/cardio-fest complete with the rock star program directors (some from New Zealand who had flown in just for the event) presenting the new stuff to about 250 crazed Les Mills ~~fanatics~~ fans.

The guy in the blue shirt is Brent, one of the Step and Attack instructors at the Bladium. Although you can't tell from this pic, he is about 5'8" of pure muscle and cheerleading energy. His classes are insanely fun and sometimes silly and he has quite a following world-wide. He is bubbly and sweats sunshine and he's everything you'd expect a former cheerleader to be. I luf him and his gorgeous wife Michelle. The other two instructors in the pic are from New Zealand. I couldn't understand a word either of them said despite the fact that they were speaking English. They were awesome.

So, the rest of the ballroom was totally dark and the only reason this picture came out kinda OK is because the people in it were literally inches away from the stage and the lights. Not sure if you can tell, but try to see how far back the group goes. These pics were taken during Attack, which was the second-to-last class of the day (there were eight in total). A large number of people had already left, and there were STILL this many people there. The Les Mills machine can almost be described as a cult. People were SO into it. Like, they-had-Les-Mills-tattoos-on-their-arms into it.

Oh yeah, did I mention I had a horrid cold on this day? Well, I did. After coughing my way through Step, an hour-long educational session, Flow, and Jam, I couldn't quite handle Attack. Hell, Combat was still to come! I opted to sit out and take pictures instead. About 10 people saw me and immediately shoved their cameras at me so I could capture the class for them as well. Instructors posed for pictures with everyone after the class ended. People were sweaty and not looking their best, but it didn't matter. They wanted pictures with their fitness idols.

All in all, this was the single most wild, crazy, painful, sweaty, and amazing day of fitness I've ever experienced. I'm as sore and as tired as I've ever been, and I think its safe to say I am forever hooked. Wherever I go in the world, I will always have to be near a gym that offers the Les Mills programs. The classes, the instructors, the choreography, the feeling I get from doing them...I have to have it all. I've finally found something I can stick with for life. Now, if only I could get my diet in order...

iPole...kinda

2010-03-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

The occasion: BT's little sis's bachelorette party.

The scene: A yoga/pole dancing studio for an introduction to sluttin' it up on the pole. The dim red lights inside the studio in place of overhead fluorescents were a nice touch.

The crew: Eighteen of us in various workout outfits, sans stripper heels or shoes of any kind, feeling a little timid.

The instructor: A 40-ish lady with a ridiculously SLAMMIN' body and insane control of her hips. I envied this woman instantly.

The class: We learned that we all possess something called a "naughty squat". This was news to me (and my knees). We also learned that when approaching the pole, the ONLY acceptable walk was a sexy one. This proved difficult for some, but everyone gave it their best shot. We were taught a short combination, which included a back bend to the floor, a front twirl, and a back hook twirl. While I managed to look OK doing most of the moves, I royally SUCKED at the back hook twirl. I just couldn't get it. Despite several tries and special attention from Ms. 40 Year Old Perfect Ass, I couldn't figure out what to do with my free leg. As BT so eloquently phrased it, "There were moments of 'sexy', and moments of 'awkward'." I think in my case, the awkward moments were really, really awkward.

The carnage: I kinda tweaked my left wrist, both of my forearms were screaming, I sustained minor floor burn on both tops of my feet (which would turn into bruises the next day), bruises on both insides of my knees, and damn near every muscle in my upper back and shoulders was sore the next day.

The verdict: I had a great time. Despite being the biggest girl there, I really enjoyed myself and felt pretty hot at some points. I never realized how much core strength is involved in pole dancing. I have an all new respect for the girls that can hoist themselves high up on the pole, flip upside down, spin around and not land in a heap on the floor the way I'm sure I would if I were to ever try something like that.

I've decided that I must take another class. There's a great studio in the South Bay where an old athlete of mine teaches classes. I signed AG and I up for one of their introductory classes in two weeks. The difference: this studio lends its participants 5" clear stripper heels for the class. All tackiness aside, if I ended up with as many injuries as I did from doing the class barefoot, just imagine the list I'm gonna come home with after trying to dance, let alone walk, in 5" clear stripper heels. Talk about awkward!

I can't wait. =)

Pretty things for your Wednesday...almost Thursday

2010-02-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

There's been way too much bellyaching on this blog lately. Can't have that. So, to cheer things up a little, here are some pictures I took earlier this afternoon at Anthropologie on 4th Street in Berkeley:

Love these little guys! I kinda have a thing for owls and I am totally in love with cookies, so these adorable cookie jars combine the best of both worlds. Although I think they are both so cute, I like the white and green one better. Something about those big eyes that just speaks to me.

I also thought this newspaper bird was super interesting and creative. There were all sorts of little critters throughout the store today, but clearly, this one took a lot of time to create. Its very sweet. Be sure to click to see the larger version and all the detail.

These beautifully colored plastic things were hanging from the ceiling by the windows. Since it was a wonderfully sunny day, the colors were extra bright. I mean, clearly, they're just old colored water bottles all cut up and splayed out, but they still reminded me of the extraordinary glass flowered ceiling of the Bellagio's lobby in Las Vegas. Of course, that whole installation was done by Dale Chihuly and is an incredible, multi-million dollar work of art. Antropologie's version...well, they're sort of the poor man's Bellagio. But I still appreciated the colors and the textures as the sun shined through.

Aaaaah, there. I feel a little cheerier already. The sunshine definitely helped my mood today. Fingers crossed for more sun tomorrow....

Olympics water-works

2010-02-23T21:08:00.000-08:00

What IS it with this year's abundance of incredibly touching, tear- jerking Olympic stories?! I don't know why this Olympics has been so emotionally different for me as compared with past years, but I CANNOT stop crying! Alexandre Bilodeau opened the flood gates and since then, tears have been a regular occurrence as I sit and watch on my couch. I'm so moved by all the stories, you'd think my icy heart has defrosted.

Since these stories are nothing short of amazing, here are the ones that have really made me lose it:

Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette's mother died unexpectedly in Vancouver after traveling from Montreal to watch her daughter fulfill her Olympic dream. Rochette skated a clean short program before letting the tears start to flow, and let me say that I doubt if there was a dry eye in that building. My god, I can't even imagine what this poor girl is going through right now. I don't know how she has managed to summon the courage to hold it together and continue to compete. Rochette is currently in third place going into the free skate. I hope she nails it and takes home a medal of some sort. To be able to execute any sort of performance under those circumstances deserves some sort of recognition. Needless to say, I cried like a little kid watching her performance tonight.

I'd seen snowboarders sporting stickers that read, "I ride for Kevin" in the X-Games and in Vancouver. I had no idea what they meant until last night. Back in 2009, things looked good for snowboarder Kevin Pearce. He was in line to make the Olympic team and possibly upset the ubeatable Shaun White. Then, he sustained a terrible head injury in a training run on December 31st. Since regaining consciousness, Kevin's had to re-learn how to talk and walk. Slowly, he's making progress, but its his relationship with his mentally disabled older brother that started my water works a-flowin'. Tom Brokaw did an excellent piece on the family last night and if you really want to be inspired to be the best you can be, click and watch. I challenge you not to cry or at least tear up a little.

Dear lord, I need to toughen up a bit. I don't know what the hell is going on with my emotions when watching sports! I used to not get this sappy. I used to be able to watch competitions without the hard lump in my throat and my eyes welling up. Well, there was that one time where BT and I sat together on the couch (much too closely) and got choked up over a McDonald's commercial during the Summer Games one year, but that was a freak occurrence that I can fully blame on the fact that we had gotten too much sun that day. Yep, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. These days I really have no excuse. I'm getting soft. More evidence that its the beginning of the end for me. First, I've given up on fashion, and now I can't hide the fact that I can and do get all gushy inside. Good lord. Someone put my out of my misery.

Olympics Update

2010-02-19T21:46:00.001-08:00

First off, I am loving snowboard phenom Shaun White. For years, no one has been able to touch this 23 year old in competition, and yet he remains totally grounded and humble. He took home the top honor in the men's snowboard half-pipe in 2006 and again this year with some of the biggest tricks the sport has ever seen. He's pretty much unstoppable. He knew before his second and final run on Wednesday night that he had won the gold medal. As he stood poised to take his final run anyway, his coach told him to do whatever he wanted. I assume his coach meant whatever tricks he wanted, because when Shaun said that he just wanted to ride down the middle of the half pipe, his coach said "No." White could have opted to essentially give his coach the middle finger and gone ahead with whatever he felt like doing and no one would have questioned him, because, ummmm HELLO, he's Shaun White, ruler of the half pipe kingdom. But at 23, the kid possesses something that other stand-out athletes his age lack...respect for those who know better and humility. He nodded his wild red locks, gave his coach a fist bump and proceeded to throw down the most ridiculous run of the Games.

With his last run, he showed the world that he deserved that gold medal. In a competition where he probably would have won just based on his reputation, Shaun White proved that he's actually really fucking damn good at what he does and that when he's at the top of his game, no one can even come close. Sure, he probably could have expected the IOC to hand him the gold based on who he is and that would have been OK , but nothing is further from the truth with this kid. Regarding his win, he was flat-out stoked. He reacted like he wasn't the favorite, like he didn't have a chance in hell. It was really touching and incredibly endearing. I love that as dominant as he is, he doesn't really know it. A LOT of athletes could take a page of the Shaun White book of how to win graciously and how not to be a dick and let your head get too big (*cough* the entire NBA *cough). I dig him and his style. Lots.

Evan Lysachek and Evgeny Plushenko...hmmm. Instead of tackling the Cold War of men's figure skating, I want to talk about what went wrong with places three through six. Third place and the bronze medal went to Daisuke Takahashi of Japan. Fourth was Stephane Lambiel of Switzerland, fifth place was Patrick Chan of Canada and sixth was Johnny Weir from the US. Takahashi fell during his long program. Lambiel fell during his long program. Chan fell during his long program. Johnny Weir skated cleanly and beautifully. But because he's probably become more famous for the outlandish antics and quotes he regularly gives to anyone holding a press pass than he is for his skating, he was judged VERY harshly on his program. Love him or hate him, the crazy fur-wearing queen can skate. Well. And he was robbed of a bronze medal on Thursday night. The look on Takahashi's face said it all. He was scared for his third place spot after Johnny's program. But that's the thing about sports where winners and losers are chosen by judges; if you turn them off by saying insane things in the press, they will fuck you. Its just a shame that it had to be done so blatantly at such a large competition.

Lindsey Vonn wins the latest award for making me tear up. Her reaction to winning her first ever gold medal in the women's downhill was something that all athletes who REALLY want it have felt. I couldn't not get emotional while watching. SO great for her.

USA vs Canada in men's hockey on Sunday. Since I'm sure to be hungover, I'll be camped on the couch ready to cheer on...well, that's the thing. I'm not quite sure. Five San Jose Sharks play for Team Canada, while only one plays for the US. The US are the underdogs here and everyone loves to see the favorites get toppled, but I'd kinda like to see Canada win it all on Canadian soil. *shrug*

That's all for now. I have things to say about Tiger Woods, too, but I need to crash. Check back soon for more sports and heated opinions from me.

Your newest Olympic heartthrob

2010-02-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gents, meet Alexandre Bilodeau, the first Canadian EVER to win a gold medal on Canadian soil. He captured the top prize in Moguls, which in my opinion, is an INSANE sport.

The story of his relationship with his disabled brother is touching, and watching his brother's reaction to his win was nothing short of tear-jerking. Not only is Alexandre the poster child for a huge heart and a beautiful soul, take a gander at that smile:

photo credit: www.lavantage.qc.ca

Not so bad, eh? If that smile and his story aren't enough to make girls around the world fall in love with him and put posters of him up in their lockers, I don't know what is. He's humble, he's honest, he's adorable, and he's damn good at what he does. How can he not be the sentimental hero of the Games thus far? Hope he enjoys the limelight because I have a feeling he's going to be seeing quite a bit of it. And good for him. I love it when athletes like this do well.

The Snow Leopard

2010-02-12T16:33:00.000-08:00

In case you live under a rock, the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, BC begin tonight. I LOVE the Olympics...the sports, the competitions, the thrill of victory, the athletes' stories. I devour it all.

Speaking of the stories, have you heard about Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong,the Snow Leopard? If you're looking for someone with a really inspirational story to root for, this is your guy. What?!? You haven't heard of him? Here...click and read. He's the first skier from Ghana to ever compete in the winter Olympics. Yes, Ghana. As in, AFRICA. Amazing.

Even if he comes in dead last, he's my Olympic hero. I think his story is fascinating and truly what the Olympic spirit is all about. Can't wait to see him compete. In fact, I can't wait for the Games' Opening Ceremonies in less that two and a half hours! Its gonna be nice to actually be in the same time zone where the Games are held and see the events as they happen. I just need to figure out when the Snow Leopard will be competing and clear some room on the DVR.

GO WORLD!

Documentation FAIL

2010-02-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a general nutrition class this semester. So far, we've learned the basic chemical compositions of water and carbon dioxide, the difference between a calorie and a kilocalorie, how to read the nutrition label on various foods, and why the American food supply is killing us slowly. Really, nothing groundbreaking. If nursing schools didn't need to see this class listed on a piece of paper proving that I took it, I'd have dropped it on the first day. Its so far beyond lame, I fear my head will explode during lecture most days.

Anyways, our current assignment involves documenting what we're eating for five consecutive days. I had been doing well up until today, Superbowl Sunday. DJC and I were invited to a party and upon arriving, we were greeted by the most ridiculous spread I've seen in a while. As far as documentation goes, today was a giant mess. Seriously...LOOK:

I think its safe to say I had some of nearly everything in these pics. Please note the box of See's Candy in the last one. Yeah, I tore it up. But as much as I mowed through almost everything offered, I did skip this one:

Yeeeeccch. Spam sushi. DJC had the best quote of the day, "I like the way it looks, the presentation. I'm not having any, but I like the way it looks." Hahaha. Yep, that's about right.

But there weren't only savory options to graze upon. There were sweets. Aaah yes, there were sweets. Behold, my Kryptonite:

Red. Velvet. Cupcakes. The ONLY thing that kept me from faceplanting in either one of these containers was that the cupcakes weren't good. I mean, even a mediocre red velvet cupcake is still pretty good, but these really, REALLY weren't. Such a crime against dessert, they were. So sad. Thankfully, these filled the void:

Holy moly. How the HELL am I even going to document everything that passed by my lips today? I honestly don't know where to start. Perhaps I should start by making it to spinning class in the morning....

More rants and raves

2010-02-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

Friday afternoon, I logged on to Chabot's website to make sure that every last one of my transcripts had arrived in time to meet their nursing program's timeline. They require that each school mails transcripts directly by January 29th, which can be a scary thing. Leaving my nursing school future to the disgruntled, underpaid, overworked LaWandas of the local junior colleges gave me cold sweats at night. For good reason, too.

As I scanned through all of the schools that had managed to do their jobs and get my transcripts to Chabot in time, I wasn't immediately alarmed. But then, wait...one was missing! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NO! This could not be happening! I had worked hard on my application and had gone to great lengths to get all of my paperwork in line and then BAM!, Diablo Valley College 's ineptitude took all of that away in a blink of an eye. I was certain Chabot would reject my application because it was incomplete. In this day and age of more applicants than program spaces, colleges are looking for any reason to narrow the applicant pool. I was literally in tears.

I picked up the phone and called DVC's admissions and transcript department. Some bitter, angry woman basically told me that it takes 10 business days to process a request. Today, Friday the 29th, was the eighth business day. EVERY OTHER SCHOOL managed to process my requests on time, but DVC held on to it for eight business days. I asked the unhelpful lady if there was anything I could do. She told me that this whole thing was my fault because I should have paid for the rush processing. I asked if I could do that right then and there. "No," she barked. "Rush processing takes 48 hours." Fuck my life. She basically told me that there was nothing I could do. I was shit out of luck.

Did I mention that I cried? Well, I did. LOTS. Like hysterically. With the impossibly low probability of getting into a lottery school , I couldn't afford to take myself out of the running of any of them! AAAH!

I called Chabot and belly-ached and blubbered my way through several phone messages to anyone in the nursing department whose answering machine I could get. I felt like I was screwed. I briefly scanned the original application and found several references to the fact that they do not accept late transcripts under any circumstances. *sigh*

By Saturday morning, I had come to terms with the fact that my application would be rejected. It sucked, but ultimately, it was my fault for not checking to see if my transcripts had been received earlier in the week. There really was nothing I could do at this point.

Monday morning, I got a call from Chabot's nursing department stating that they would accept transcripts up until Friday of this week (Feb. 5th). I IMMEDIATELY got on the phone with DVC again and was greeted by a friendly, incredibly helpful woman named Renee, who basically told me that she couldn't even find my original request and that's why it hadn't been processed. When I explained my situation, she apologized profusely and promised to help me out by putting my transcript in the mail that same day. When she said this, I honestly felt about 1500 pounds of stress lift off of my shoulders. Renee, my savior, hooked it up. The bitter woman from Friday made me cry...and Renee made me dance around with joy.

Product name WIN

2010-02-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

Love it!

DATS WUTS UP!

2010-02-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

HURRY! Watch this before it gets taken down!!! CLICK!! NOW!

Yeah, the song isn't the greatest, but HOLY MOLY, the performance as a whole is reeeeeeee-diculous! The outfit! The artistry! The fact that she's actually singing! The water! The athleticism! The BALLS on that chick (not really, but you know what I mean)! All of it, straight up amazing. By far, the coolest thing that happened at last night's Grammy Awards.

And as much as I've come to love Taylor Swift, I was a little embarrassed for her during her performance with the legendary Stevie Nicks. Taylor's songs sound pretty good on the radio, but hearing her live made me realize just how much post-production work goes in to her music. Little country lamb can't sing, ya'll...and she certainly couldn't hang with the likes of Stevie Nicks. It was almost painful.

Anways, this concludes your pop culture update for now. I haven't finished watching the rest of the show yet. I'll get back to you if anything interesting happens in the back end. Word.

Rants and Raves

2010-01-31T15:01:00.001-08:00

Hmmm. 10 seconds ago, I had plenty of motivation to blog. Now, I think I'm gonna repaint my nails instead. They're very chipped from last night and I just can't handle looking at them for another minute. Be be back soon.

Update: I'm back! My nails are a lovely shade of OPI's "Suzi Skis in the Pyrenees" (a dark gray inky blue) and I'm ready to rock. I feel much better about the state of my nails. Woot. Love the color!

First off, let's discuss Monk's Kettle. This very small "gastropub" in San Francisco's Mission District offers, like, five full pages of different beers (Typed in 9 point font. Single spaced.) Right away, one can see why DJC chose this place for his birthday celebration. They also have a pretty decent food menu. The problem: its VERY small, fairly pricey for beers and is overrun with an abundance of trust-fund hipsters. What could go wrong?

When we arrived, we were told that our entire party needed to be present to be seated, but because there were eight of us, we couldn't all be seated together. Ummm, ohhhh- kaaay. The place is so small that they literally couldn't seat eight people together. The host was flustered and flitted around until he figured out a way to get a booth for six and then a small table for two in close proximity. Despite having to wait over ninety minutes to be seated, all was well.

Our waiter showed up and told us we had to order food immediately. He rushed us through our entire meal. After our dinner plates had been hastily cleared, he informed us that he had been told by his manager to "move the table along". What that meant was that we either had to order more food (dessert), or we had to go. Apparently, there is a very long wait for a table on Saturday nights and they couldn't afford to have us sit there and only order beers. Ahem. Take a gander at their beer list and tell me if you've seen beer prices that outrageous before. Its not like we were all ordering glasses of water or sodas and simply taking up valuable space. I flashed my pearly whites and told the waiter that we definitely wanted to order more beer and planned to spend more money. He still booted us out. I guess when you've got a line out the door of people wanting buy your overprices libations, you can do whatever you want. The thing is WE WERE TOTALLY THOSE PEOPLE.

Fine, ass clowns. We decided to take our little party three doors up the street to a place called Gestalt Haus, but before we left, I hit the restroom. The ONE restroom in the whole place. Of course there was a line. While in line, I overheard our waiter bitching and moaning about the conversation he had with DJC about the table situation. Ok, I get it...I used to wait tables and I sure complained about a customer or two, but I made DAMN SURE that the customer was nowhere in sight. He carried on while I stood right behind him. One of DJC's friends convinced me not to confront the guy and so I didn't. But I heard everything he said and it was most certainly not professional. Ick.

When we arrived at Gestalt Haus, DJC's buddies ordered three ONE LITRE mugs of Hop Stoopid beer, an 8% IPA. The price: $18. For all three. That's $18 TOTAL. Insane. We totally could have skipped all the Monk's Kettle drama and gone straight for the good stuff at Gestalt. Well, at least we know better now. Can't say we'll be going back to Monk's Kettle any time soon. I just wanted DJC to have a good time with our friends and I believe he did. So, no biggie. YAY for Gestalt Haus saving the day!

But, I still Yelped about our experience. Yeah, I gave them two stars only. One for the beer selection, and one for the giant pretzel on the appetizer menu. Damn hipster establishment with their bullshit attitudes toward customer service.

Whiskey D*ck

2010-01-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

This is posted outside of my nutrition class at the local junior college. Hilarious.

Sometimes, I forget how old I am or that I've already done the whole college thing. When I first saw this poster, I thought it was ridiculous. Because seriously, who doesn't know this? But then I walk in to nutrition and I'm instantly reminded that there are some people in the class that are still teenagers. Perhaps they don't know about "brewer's droop". Poor souls. Perhaps they will actually learn something from this awesome poster (complete with a William Shakespeare quote). I have to think, though, that kids these days...they're pretty well versed in all things alcohol by the time they get to high school. By the time they get to junior college, this is common knowledge. In which case, the poster is even more awesome.

It's just so....graphic. Love it. Happy Friday, everyone!

More laundormat insanity

2010-01-25T20:12:00.000-08:00

The scene: the less than awesome laundromat, right after lunch. The place is packed. PACKED. Its hot, damp, and loud. So loud. Whoop.

Me: No makeup, chipped nail polish, hair wet from the rain, velour pants, black Uggs. So. Not. Hot.

Him: Receding hair line, cargo shorts and flip-flops despite the rain, cell phone permanently attached to his ear, can't stop looking at me. Really. Kinda icky.

Finally, homeboy makes his move. As I'm folding my laundry (and DJC's) directly from the dryer, he slides up next to me, gets my attention, and says, "You've got nice legs and a great ass. Wanna get a drink sometime?"

I think my mouth might have fallen open. Despite the sheer hilarity of the dude's comments, there are several very pressing issues that I feel I need to discuss:

First, did he miss the very shiny ring on my left hand? I feel like people of his age (roughly mid 30s), look for the ring before making such a ridiculous stab at my "great ass". For all I know, he saw my ring and just didn't care. Whatever the case, EW.

Secondly, and far more importantly, ring or no ring, did he think that line would actually work? I'm afraid he thought it would. In a laundromat. While I'm clearly folding a man's polo shirt. Good lord.

The funny thing was that I was SUPER embarrassed by the whole exchange. Its not often that I hear compliments about my hind quarters from strangers. Its not like either are my best feature. I think I may have turned eight different shades of red. Thankfully, I quickly dispatched the weird stranger and continued to fold underwear and socks.

There are times when I'm happy about being able to wash and dry four loads of laundry in about ninety minutes, but today was not one of them. Oh, who am I kidding...today was totally hysterical.

Wisconsin wine follies

2010-01-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

It was a cloudy, snowy day in Brookfield, WI. I had a terribly stuffy nose and didn't feel at all like drinking. Yet, there I stood, in the wine isle of the local Sendik's (the Wisconsin equivalent of Andronico's) while DJC hunted for his favorite Wisconsin beers. I was searching for the elusive local ice wine that Dtex had told me I had to try. I was failing. Local wine, apparently, did not exist. I sighed...loudly.

Then I noticed two HUGE women in a heated debate near me. One woman was looking for a particular kind of wine although she couldn't remember what it was called. The other woman then took notice of a bottle on the shelf and said, very loudly, "WHOA. Francis Ford Coppola makes wine?!" I couldn't help myself. I replied that yes, actually he does, and that his wines aren't all that bad. They immediately pegged me as an out-of-towner and asked if I was from California. When I answered affirmatively, they pummeled me with questions about their mystery wine, because "all Californians know about wine".

Neither of them knew the maker nor the type of wine they were looking for, but they both kept saying something that sounded like "rinuti" and "abrusco". Hmmm. Sounded Italian. I told them that I am no wine expert, but that I wasn't familiar with a wine called "rinuti abrusco" (I know now, after Googling it, that abrusco is a type of grape indigenous to Italy). I asked them to describe the taste, hoping that I could at least pick out a similar wine for them. They said hey weren't sure if it was white or red, but that it was fruity and very sweet. "Ick," I thought. I quickly picked out a bottle of Ecco Domani pinot grigio for them. I hoped it would be acceptable and that they wouldn't be cursing me later.

Later in the evening at the DJC family Christmas party, I noticed a HUGE jug of RIUNITE LAMBRUSCO wine. Oh. My. God. The women were actually asking for Reee-yooo-nee-tee wine! Riunite! Hilarious!! When I told my story to DJC's dad, he laughed and said that those ladies were more likely to find their Riunite at a gas station as Sendik's probably didn't even carry it. Love that I sent them away with a pretty decent bottle of pinot grigio... and they listened to me because all Californians supposedly know about wine. I bet they were so pissed later in the evening. LOL. Classic.

Metropark and Jersey Shore

2010-01-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm OBSESSED with MTV's latest trainwreck TV show, Jersey Shore. It is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I should hate it. Instead, I cannot turn it off. I find myself watching old episodes over and over because they're just that goddamn entertaining. The plot, its not that interesting. In fact, its a pretty blatant rip-off of The Real World (seven randoms picked to live in a house and have their lives taped...and attempt to work to earn their free digs for the duration of the show) that's been done 20 or so times already. Its the freaking people that make Jersey Shore so damn amazing.

First off, they all have nicknames. Nicknames like "Snooki" (the roommates sometimes call her "Snickers"), "The Situation", and my personal fave, "Jwoww". Yes, that's "Jwoww" with TWO Ws. Brilliant!! Awsome nicknames aside, its the personalities of the cast that keeps me coming back for more. They're like walking cartoon characters. I find Snooki to be absolutely mesmerizing and the rest of the folks to be completely fascinating as well. Their hair, their tans, their penchant for fist pumping at clubs, their clothing...all so totally interesting. I'd post pics for you all to see what I'm talking about, but they look pretty much as normal as anyone in still photos...except WAY more tan.

I couldn't help thinking about the clothing earlier today when I was shopping with B-rice and AG. We wandered into a store called Metropark. Before today, I'd never heard of this store. After taking a brief survey of the clothing offered, I understood why. SO not my style. Over the top, graphic, Jersey Shore-ish T-shirts, pants and jewelry. And I wasn't alone in my feelings...B-rice looked at me and said, "All I can think of when I look at all this stuff is Jwoww." Hilarious and so true! All of the clothing...soooooo, ummm, Jersey. I mean, I've heard of brands like Affliction before, but now all I can see is The Situation and DJ Pauly D sporting that shit after hitting the tanning salon. No me gusta. We did get a good laugh out of it, though. I honestly can't see why anyone would wear stuff like that, but fashion is a personal thing, I guess.

(As an aside, I walked by J.Jill today and spotted a poster imploring shoppers to "Embrace COLOR!" I looked around quickly and all I saw were muted pastels and beige. COLOR?! Hardly.)

But back to Jersey Shore for a sec...if there is only one hot mess of a TV show that you watch this season, this HAS to be it. My god, its brilliant. Reality TV gold. And MTV even has all of the episodes online, so there is no excuse for not checking it out. You'll laugh, you'll pump your fist in the air, your jaw will drop, and you will feel good about yourself and your life choices. Everyone wins!!

Finally...

2010-01-10T17:17:00.000-08:00

Back in 2007, on a blog that no longer exists, I wrote about The Slanket. I joked about the lameness of the item...a blanket with sleeves! HA! Silly! And yet, I really wanted one. Like badly. But I just couldn't pull the trigger.

Then, over the years, the inferior Snuggie rose in popularity while the Slanket seemed to lose steam as America's favorite gimmick. Having read this very informative article, I knew there was no way I was going to succumb to the airplane blanket quality and static of the Snuggie. Hell, I relentlessly teased my friends who owned Snuggies. And those RIDICULOUS Snuggie commercials with that stupid dance?! Hell naw. It was the Slanket, or nothing at all. They were still available online, but again, I couldn't pull the trigger.

After demo-ing a Slanket at DJC's mom's house over Christmas, I knew the time had come. When I came home, I ordered one and anxiously awaited its arrival. The day it came, I literally giggled with glee. I eagerly unboxed my moss green beauty and immediately put it on. I then experienced what can only be described as a most excellent feeling of comfort and warmth.

What followed was an extended session of ass-planting. Its strange...its like the Slanket saps my will to do, well, everything. Grocery shopping, classes at the gym, the basic need for food and water...all usurped by the need to just chill. I am so comfortable and warm and LAZY when I am wrapped in its fleecy threads. Its like a big, soft, fleece hug. You know...its one of those hugs where you don't want to be the first person to let go. I think I want to be buried in my Slanket. The feeling...its simply divine. So soft. So gentle. Lovely.

I know I'm raving like a lunatic about a freaking blanket with sleeves, but if you think I'm nuts, its only because you don't have one and could never understand what I'm talking about until you do. I can't believe I waited over two years to finally purchase one. If you're pondering whether or not the Slanket is for you, I can tell you that it is. It absolutely is. You don't even know what you're missing. Order. DO IT. DO IT NOW. You can thank me later. =)

Still diggin' the Gaga

2010-01-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I SO love Lady Gaga.

Pop stars of today, take note: bitch can sing. Like really, really well. But if her music isn't your thing (and I can imagine that it wouldn't be for a lot of people...I'm a weirdo), at least let the video load and skip to 3:55. WOW. Just wow.

One day, I will be able to stand on a piano bench in 5" spikes, bent over, with legs that look a mile long and my perfect ass in the air, play the piano and sing. Really well. Damn, that's just so cool. Can't say that I've seen anything like that ever. You go, Gaga. Change the game for the better.

Looking back

2010-01-07T16:38:00.001-08:00

2009 was an interesting one for me. I didn't have an actual job for the entire year. By choice. Instead, I spent my time in various classes, fulfilling various requirements, learning new and interesting things and refreshing my knowledge bank. I tried my best. I submitted applications for nursing programs that will hopefully allow me to one day have a job that I love...again. I continued to cheer for the Cal Bears football team, and continued to be let down...just like every other year. I worked out harder than I have since college, but sadly, with less results. DJC and I celebrated our fifth year together, and started making plans for our wedding this year (YAY!!). I bought my wedding dress. As a couple, we grew closer than ever and faced a number of very difficult challenges together. We traveled, although not all that far. We ate lots. We laughed endlessly. We cried. He dried my tears. We made the best of the situation. Somehow, we've managed not to kill our downstairs neighbors and have resolved to allow them to upset us less. We're going to do our best to simply ignore their pathetic presence (although currently, I can hear exactly what video game the shitlets are playing as well as their fat little squeals of glee from time to time) and do the things that make us happy. I kissed my parents goodbye and hoped that their road trip across the country was uneventful and their new life in Florida makes them truly happy. I miss them. Terribly. I've read a lot. I've written a lot. I started a reality TV blog with my best friend from the seventh grade and had a wonderful lunch with her after not seeing each other for close to 20 years. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I connected with tons of long lost friends...and even made a few new ones.

All in all, I can't complain. 2009 wasn't the greatest year ever, but it wasn't terrible, either. I can't wait to see how all of the decisions and choices I made in 2009 work out for me in 2010. I can't wait to be Mrs. DJC. However things may go, I feel positive and excited to see what the future holds. I'd just like to finally root for a winning college football team for once. How about it, Bears? Can you make all my dreams come true? ;)

Eye spy

2010-01-06T21:24:00.001-08:00

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a textbook example of a subconjuctival hemorrhage. I have no Earthly idea how it happened. Although it looks gnarly, I can assure you that it doesn't hurt at all. This isn't like the time when I dislocated my kneecap and didn't really notice until much later...I honestly have NO idea what I could have done to cause this. Other than sneeze. But damn it, I sneeze like 5 times daily and this is the first time I've ever had this happen. Its crazy. I noticed the very corner of redness while brushing my teeth and was like, WTF?!?

If you're totally grossed out by the pic, let me know and I'll take the image down and re-word the post. I know pictures of eyes can creep some folks out. Funny thing is that I am totally one of those people. Injuries to the eye were always difficult for me to stomach back in the day.

Anyways, that's the most exciting thing in my life lately. So exciting. I know.

In which I come up for air...

2010-01-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

Wisconsin. Snow. Freezing rain. Intolerably cold. Indoor crowding, which of course means indoor smoking. Come July 2010, this will no longer be an issue in bars and restaurants. Definitely a step in the right direction, but unfortunately this means that certain members of DJC's family will just have to smoke that much more in their homes and cars. If that's possible. Cue one seriously stuffy nose...

Not sure when this happened, but I cannot STAND second-hand smoke. Funny, because I used to "smoke" (in quotes because no matter how many times I tried, I just couldn't get into it. At all. Yes, this begs the question, "Why did I keep trying to pick up a nasty habit like smoking in the first place?" The answer is because...well...who knows. I certainly don't.). Anyways, me and cigarettes don't get along so well. I used not to even notice. Now, I do. I really freaking do.

Our sleeping arrangements for the beginning of the trip involved staying in two houses that had been smoked in constantly for years. I don't care how many fans you turn on, that smell works its way into EVERYTHING, from carpets, to towels and most annoyingly, bedding. It doesn't help that I couldn't just open a window to get some fresh air. Too cold for that. The minute I walked into that house, my nose clogged up and made life pretty miserable.

You see, for more years than I care to admit, I've been addicted to nasal spray (for those of you who know me in real life, this should come as no surprise). About three weeks before our trip, I decided to give it up once and for all, and had been doing fairly well thanks to a genius product called Rhinostat. I was almost done with the system. And I was so happy about it. But once I was exposed to stale (and fresh) cigarette smoke, all of my progress went out the window. I couldn't breathe through my nose and I most certainly couldn't sleep. I was getting zero relief from my Rhinostat kit and it was only the first day of the trip! I cried. Seriously.

The second half of our trip involved staying in a house that has never been smoked in...nay, has never been so much as farted in. The air, despite the lack of moisture, was clean. And sure enough, I cleared right up and could breathe again. I got a good night's sleep, and I started to believe that I could really kick the habit once and for all.

Since returning to the heavenly moist air of sea level, I've been doing even better still. Its so funny how I always took breathing through my nose for granted. If I got stuffy, I could always fix it with my trusty bottle of Sinex. But no more. And as sensitive as my nose has always been, my sense of smell is even better these days. My blood pressure's down too.

The thing is that nasal spray addiction is a VERY common problem that happens to A LOT of people. Doctors rarely know how to help their patients who confide that they're hooked. Most people are too embarrassed to ask for help. I certainly was. Its not like an addiction to pain killers or other drugs. This is a weird one with very few treatment options other than giving it up cold turkey. As you can imagine, cold turkey isn't really an option at all. I'm thrilled to have found the Rhinostat system and can't say enough good things about how easy it is to use. The best part is that it works. It really works.

I'm close to being free of this crap. And it feels good. Fingers crossed that I don't come into contact with people who smoke indoors in the near future!

Running behind...as usual.

2009-12-31T12:21:00.001-08:00

I have lots of Wisconsin pictures, videos and stories to share. I have a brief recap of 2009 to cover, as well as my hopes for 2010. But, as always, I am woefully behind today.

I still need to shower, figure out what to do with my makeup, paint my fingernails, fix a botched pedicure, pick up my shoes from the repair shop, and change the broken tail light on my car (wouldn't want to take any chances of being pulled over for stupid sh*t tonight).

See, we're headed to a shindig in San Francisco hosted by JC, creator of Netmusique.com. Last time I went to one of JC's parties, I ended up sandwiched between two queens at 2:30am singing "Toxic" by Britney Spears on the karaoke machine. Upon finishing the single worst karaoke performance of my life, I was escorted to the punch bowl, where I proceeded to drink directly from the ladle. Good times!

So, hopefully its no biggie that I have to put off the Wisconsin recap until later...

I wish you all the best in 2010. You're all excellent people and you deserve amazing things in the new year. Cheers! =)

Jack Frost is nipping at my patience...

2009-12-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who HATES Christmas music? Like really hates it? Its just that at this time of year, I can't get away from it. Everywhere I go, its playing...Starbucks, Trader Joe's, The Gap, Kragan Auto Parts, TACO BELL. Damn it! I can only handle so much of "Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas" before I start to lose it.

I woke up this morning with "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" stuck in my head. Have a fucking HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS! Seriously! And I can't make it stop!!

There used to be one exception to this...and it was the Peanuts Christmas CD. My dad loves the music and played it every year during the entire month of December. He did this for years, but now that my parents are living far, far away, hearing this CD only reminds me of how much I miss them and how I won't be seeing them for the holidays. Consequently, this CD's out, too. Can't listen to it without getting sad.

In a nutshell, I'm over Christmas music and wish every establishment I walked in to would give it a freaking rest already! Yes, some may say that I am a Scrooge, but you have to remember that Scrooge came around at the end of the story and found the Christmas spirit in his heart.

I'm not as open to change. Fa-la-la-la-la....la-la-la-la.

My current stream of consciousness...

2009-12-14T21:17:00.001-08:00

Finals. Stress. More arithmetic than I ever thought I'd have to do after leaving 4th grade...sans calculator. Stress. Headache. Sore shoulders and neck. 3 hours of hell and no time left over to check my math. Divot in my finger from holding the pencil too tightly. Hardest class I will probably ever have to take...even when I get into nursing school. Whether I feel good about my efforts or not, its over. Hope I passed. Not gonna lie...I hated every single moment of this class. Don't want to take it again. Ever. For any reason.

Now, Anthony Bourdain in Sardinia. Delicious looking foods. Fire-roasted cheeses. Fresh pastas and sauces. Cured meats. Mouth watering. Bubble bath soon. Sleep...perhaps soundly. Hopefully soundly. Dream of fire-roasted cheeses and house wines. Mmmm...

Tomorrow, the feverish studying will resume for Thursday's exam. Multiple choice. Infinitely comforting multiple choice. The answer's there somewhere. When it doubt, you've got a one-in-four chance. Pick C. Always C. Almost finished. Light at the end of the tunnel is almost visible. One more Starbuck's caramel brulee latte and one more lecture before the exam. Remember to buy two Scan-trons! Hang in there!

After finals, off to Wisconsin. Hellishly cold Wisconsin. Fun. Not. I'll blog if I can. Ugh.

Gaga-rific

2009-12-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'll admit it. I've got a deep-seeded love for pop music that I try my best to hide sometimes. Nevertheless, I just couldn't get on board with the whole Lady Gaga craze. I mean, yes, she is quite an exhibitionist, and who doesn't love a good exhibitionist, really. But I've always felt that she was...I don't know...trying a little too hard. Case in point:

I mean, whoa. Holy shit on a stick, woman. That is one hell of a get-up. I find it interesting that her facial features are almost completely indistinguishable, while her bare breasts are only covered by one single layer of thin red lace. Thank goodness she decided to wear underwear that day! I look at this and I can't help but think, "Can she SEE through that...thing?! Because if she could, she might have second guessed leaving the house." Really.

Regardless of the authenticity of her shock-value schtick, I can't deny that she is actually pretty talented and had a few songs out there that I found catchy and *gulp* cool (minus that "Pokerface" monstrosity that gets stuck in my head for days on end. Hate that one.). And she's definitely one hell of an entertainer with a very strong point of view. But I never really got it...until today. What changed? I finally saw her video for "Paparazzi". Here...devour it:

See what I mean? Its...beautiful. And God bless her for putting Alexander Skarsgard in it (yum!). I don't know why this is what finally brought me around, but I totally understand why people are nuts for this chick now. Quite simply, she might be WAAAAY out there, but you can't front on the fact that she's turning heads and getting people to talk about her unique "work". Thank god she's not another cookie-cutter pop star churning out low budget, generic, mediocre Miley Sirus Selena Gomez crap. Her videos, her music, her look...provocative genius.

"My pee smells like Cheerios!"

2009-12-01T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today was the renal lab in physiology class. This involved peeing in a cup and dipping a number of strips into it to test for various things. No big deal, right? Every physiology lab I've ever been in has done this very same lab. I expected nothing out of the ordinary.

Imagine my surprise when several members of the class launched into a barrage of questions about drinking one's own urine. Literally, like 12 questions! You would think that it goes without saying that drinking one's own urine is TOTALLY unacceptable unless stuck in one of three following scenarios...

1. If you find yourself stranded in the desert, urine could be used to sustain life for a VERY brief period of time
2. If you find yourself lost at sea with no fresh water in site, urine could be used to sustain life for a VERY brief period of time
3. You wake up one day to find that you've become Bear Grylls and you're required to do so for your asinine TV show where you actually sleep in hotels instead of the "wild".

...but you'd be wrong. My classmates wanted to know ALL about drinking their own pee. I had to ask myself, "What the FUCK is wrong with people?!?!?!". My poor professor fielded the questions as seriously as he could for a little while, but then literally threw up his hands and stated that the lecture needed to move on. Seriously. SO strange.

But the strangest things were yet to come. Of all the immature mutterings about urine I heard during the course of the lab, my favorite was "Hey, my pee smells like Cheerios!". This caught my attention because I have often thought that very same thing. Interesting.

Even stranger yet, one of the tests we performed on our cups of wee today was for the presence of blood. As soon as I dipped my test strip in, it turned a deep, deep shade of green, indicating I have quite a large amount of blood in my urine. Hmmm. I don't feel sick, and usually a UTI isn't asymptomatic. Usually, they REALLY suck. My professor quickly called everyone over to see what a positive test looked like. Not gonna lie...I was pretty embarrassed. He did this again for someone in the class that had a large amount of glucose in their urine, but no one owned up to the positive test tube.

All in all, it was a most bizarre day. Just when I expected nothing remarkable, I'm forced to admit this has been the most interesting and weird urinary lab I've ever taken part in.

Black Friday fun

2009-11-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

Remember as a kid the cool thing to do to taunt your friends (or enemies) was to creep up quietly behind them and hit them in the back of the knee so that their knee buckled, causing him or her to stumble and/or fall? Remember? Good times, huh?

Yeah, well...today in Starbucks, I was almost taken to the ground by this very thing. But was it one of my friends messin' with me? Noooooo. As I nearly fell, I turned around to see a little fuckin' four year-old in pigtails flail wildly into me as part of the display case she had been hanging on broke loose. (awesome parenting, BTW!). Skank.

I'm pretty sure in most situations, its not OK to call a four year-old a skank, but I don't care.

I GLARED at the pigtailed spaz as her mother instructed her to apologize for almost causing me to fall over. Instead, the little girl simply glared right back at me as if to say, "What should I apologize for? YOU were in MY way!".

Well, let me just say that had I fallen, I would have ass-planted right on top of her...and then she really would have had something to be sorry about.

Skank.

Aaaaah, the joys of Black Friday, or as I like to call it, "My yearly reminder of birth control's extraordinary powers". Thank goodness for online shopping!

The straw that broke the camel's back

2009-11-17T17:30:00.000-08:00

Before I get to the story, in this scenario, yes, I AM the camel. Just so we're clear...Mmmmkay?

As most of my faithful readers know (all 5 of you), DJC and I have the most ridiculous neighbors EVAR. They live on all sides of us; below, to the left and to the right. They do some of the most insane things I've ever seen humans do. A while back, I had a conversation with an old friend about some of the recent neighborly antics and he urged me to do a blog post about them. But instead of ranting on and on about how I almost lose my mind on a daily basis (because really, these people get me pretty heated), I chose to just not pay as much attention to the comically lame goings on...until today.

So, since I've already started down the road of ridicule, I may as well give you all the whole picture. Here are some choice events that have taken place over the months...

-The downstairs neighbors have two fat male children. They hoot and holler at all hours of the day and night. No, really...they actually hoot like animals. They also like to slam each other off of the walls while grunting and carrying on. Sometimes, I wake thinking that they've gotten a new pet orangutan. Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.

-The neighbors to our left don't really have much to do during the days. Every so often the man will get into his car in the driveway, sit there and absolutely fucking REV his engine for all its worth for three to five minutes. In case you didn't catch that, he sits there with the car in park and puts his foot on the accelerator, guns the shit out of it, and doesn't let it up for three to five minutes. After he's satisfied, he gets out of the car and goes back into his house. I've also observed this guy lift the hood of the car and then point his leaf blower cranked to full power at the car's motor for the same period of time. Not sure why. Straight up bizarre.

-Recently, the city decided it was going to cut large chunks in the street in front of our houses, make a bunch of noise, create some of the most interesting detours ever, kick up a lot of dust, and then fix those large chunks a few days later. Not exactly sure what the purpose of all the construction was other than to completely inconvenience everyone on the street. One morning at approximately 8am, the city decided to start re-paving. Immediately after they began their work, a neighbor's car alarm went off. I heard the tell-tall "beep beep" of someone turning the alarm off, and then the "beep" of re-setting the alarm. Not two minutes later, the alarm went off again. By this point, I was looking out the window in the general direction of the commotion. I watched the neighbor walk outside and re-set the alarm. Not two minutes later IT WENT OFF AGAIN. She walked outside and re-set it a third time. You get the picture...wash, rinse, repeat. It went on like this for a total of 5 times before she gave up and just left the alarm off. My god.

-The neighbors to our right sometimes have loud dinner parties...at 3am...with every light in the house turned on. But those are pretty rare. Plus, they have a cute dog that looks up at me when I blow kisses at him, so we'll let them slide.

But none of these things were so offensive that I had to write about them. Annoying, yes. Puzzling, certainly. But whatever. What pushed me over the edge into complain-land was today's incident. Read on...

-As I was studying for my physiology lab exam this morning, I heard the "beep beep" of the alarm for downstairs neighbor's silver Toyota Highlander (note: when they got this particular car, the bumper was missing a significant amount of paint. No problem, though...that's what spray paint's for!). Despite hearing the man, who we call Big Tobacco because we've never seen him without a cigarette hanging from his lips, walk out onto the back deck, I just figured that they were leaving and paid no more attention. But the beeping continued...on and off, on and off, on and off...for FIFTEEN MINUTES! I looked and sure enough, Big Tobacco was just standing on the deck clicking the alarm remote incessantly. I have no idea why. When I came home later in the day, he was at it again, although not for as long. But seriously, WTF?!

So EMcK and everyone else, there you have it. I have finally had enough. My neighbors are clearly some of the strangest people on the planet. The stories might seem funny to you, but its only because you don't have to live near my weirdo neighbors. Still, reading back over them, I have to laugh. I mean, seriously, who can be that freaking out there?!

Figure skating originality FAIL

2009-11-15T12:04:00.001-08:00

Here I am, sitting on my new couch, dressed in fleece, sweats and Uggs, eating a chocolate croissant and ready to catch up on several days' worth of DVRed goodness. So many trashy shows to watch! Whatever will I choose first?!

But alas, I made the mistake of checking to see what else was on TV before diving in. And I found a figure skating competition. Its a little known fact that I am an absolute SUCKER for figure skating. And with the 2010 Winter Olympics right around the corner, there's a ton of figure skating to be had on TV these days. Cool! But as the top female Russian competitor took the ice, I became frustrated. Here's the thing:

There's a world FULL of amazing music out there. Why must every freaking female skater for the last 20+ years use Bizet's "Carmen"?! I mean, seriously. There are only so many ways it can be done, and no one can really do it better than Katerina Witt in the 1988 Olympics:

I think the ice skating code of points should be officially revised to ban "Carmen" from ever being used again in any competition. My god. Since Witt's gold medal performance, anyone and everyone has tried to re-capture her magic. Its just soooooooooooo painfully overused! Hell, Beyonce even starred in an MTV atrocity of pop-culture called "Carmen: A Hip-Hopera". This stratospherically bad display of horseshit also starred Lil' Bow Wow. Based on that fact alone, the graceful, elegant sport of figure skating should shun "Carmen" from competition use forever and ever, amen.

That's all. I'm done ranting now. I just wish skaters didn't play it safe with such an unoriginal, yet beautiful, piece of music. Taking the easy way out never pays off. Pick some different music, for crying out loud.

Excuses, excuses...

2009-11-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

There's a ton of things going on right now and I wish I had time to write them all down, but the reality is that I just don't. I feel bad about letting my blog fall by the wayside, but that's just how its gotta be for now. I apologize for the lack of posts and stories. I do have some good ones that I will get to eventually...promise. And if I'm not mistaken, I owe you all two more installments of gorgeous California pictures. One of these days when things calm down a bit...

Night photography

2009-11-01T22:09:00.000-08:00

Take one full moon, add two people who are mesmerized by the light of said moon, one Sony H1 camera on manual mode, an amazing sky full of light, whispy clouds and this is what you get:

If the night could have had a soundtrack playing, this would have been it..."The moon and the stars were the gifts you gave..."

And then, the street with a few cars coming by...

So cool...

T Minus 364 days...

2009-10-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

DJC and I will be married exactly one year from yesterday. We were a bit concerned with how the weather might be so late into October, but if yesterday's weather is any indication, we've got nothing to worry about. It was gorgeous. Warm, sunny, lovely. Perfect for our outdoor ceremony. It's all so exciting.

Speaking of exciting, I recently went for my first wedding dress appointment. My mother and my sister came with me, which was good because I was a little freaked out. I am not a size 6...hell, I'm not even a size 10, and I was a pretty worried that I would have a difficult time finding a dress that fit. I'm VERY broad through the shoulders, chest and back and I knew that these features would present some issues when trying things on. And I wasn't wrong. Basically, I will have to find a dress that fits my upper body and tailor the ever-living hell out of it to fit my hips and waist. As Evelyn, my consultant, said in her heavy Russian accent, "You are all boobs. No butt. All boobs". Yep. That pretty much sums it up. Needless to say, a strapless dress wasn't going to work. Straps were needed...and quickly.

However, despite all of the challenges, I did manage to find four dresses that I am in love with. Unfortunately, the salon I went to last week didn't have five out of the six dresses I found on their website and wanted to try on. Luckily for me, though, my friend MC's adorable wife is THRILLED about helping me find a dress and has offered to join me for an appointment at a salon in the South Bay (secretly, I think she's just thrilled that MC has a female friend). They carry the same designers as the previous salon, so perhaps I will have more luck finding the remaining 5 dresses that I want to try on. I honestly can't make a decision until I can try those last ones on. But my goodness, this whole thing is overwhelming! And despite my worries, it was also a lot of fun. My mother and sister were very honest, but not brutal. I can't wait to go through the whole process again with JAC.

My parents are moving to Florida in about two weeks, so I am doing my best to do as much wedding-related stuff with my mom as I can before she departs. I can't believe I'm going to have to do the bulk of the wedding planning without her here...but plenty of people do things all by themselves, so I shouldn't whine too much. But still, it'd be nice to have my mom here. Oh well.

This whole wedding thing is crazy and fun and totally daunting. But I'm starting to enjoy it...finally. =)

An open letter to Bay Area radio stations

2009-10-26T19:17:00.001-07:00

Dear Live 105, 104.5 KFOG, and 106.1 KMEL,

Due to some sort of electrical glitch in my car stereo, yours are the only radio stations I am able to listen to. Hence, I've heard every song you all seem to play in an hour long rotation every time I drive to or from classes. I've had it with the repetition and the lack of playlist imagination. I'm prepared to bail on you once and for all if my demands are not met. Here's what I want:

*Live 105: Please do not play the following Sublime songs ever again: "Santeria", "What I Got", "Caress me Down", Wrong Way" or "Doin' Time" ever again. The last song in that list is especially out of place seeing as that its now almost November and clearly not summer time when the livin's easy. I mean, c'mon...Sublime was a most excellent band and they had WAY better tunes that these. Finding a few shouldn't be all that difficult, if you actually tried...or cared.

*And while you're at it, Guns N' Roses and Metallica DO NOT belong on the same station as Death Cab for Cutie, The Cure and Weezer. Seriously, pick one genre and stick with it! Are you an alternative station that plays cutting edge modern rock or a station that will mix in the redneck stuff just for variety?

*KFOG, this one's for you, but not exclusively because Live 105 is guilty as well...PLEASE, for the love of decent music, can ya'll retire the Bob Marley songs already? You may ask yourself, has anyone made ANY respectable reggae since Bob Marley? The answer is probably, however you all seem to think that Bob is the end-all be-all of this annoying genre of music and play the same five songs over and over and over. Again, Bob had quite an extensive repertoire...dig a little and give "Three Little Birds" and "Buffalo Soldier" a freaking rest! Oh and Live 105, you can also retire Damien Marley's "Welcome to Jamrock". If I hear the lyrics "Out in the street/they call it murrrrrrrrrrrder" one more time, I might lose it.

*A number of artists have covered Bob Marley songs over the years. One that comes to mind is Annie Lennox, who did a lovely cover of "Waiting in Vain". It really doesn't sound a whole lot like the original because Miss Lennox was smart enough to cut the reggae beat out of it. Perhaps this is why I enjoy this song so much. Anyways, there's a ton of stuff like this out there. Look, mmmmkay.

*Alright KMEL, you're up. As the best choice for hip hop and R&B in the Bay Area, I PLEAD with you never to play "LOL Smiley Face" by Trey Songz again. The lyrics are astoundingly asinine: "Shorty sent a TwitPic/Said come get this/L-O-L smiley face, L-O-L smiley face". The first time I heard this song I had to wonder whose fucking idea was it to actually produce this piece of shit? I can't believe someone at Atlantic Records didn't slap Trey Songz upside his fool head when he pitched this idea to them. Its quite literally the LAMEST song I have ever heard. The previous owner of this title: "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. I didn't think it could get worse than that...but I should know better. It can always get worse. Fuck me.

* And while we're talking about crap, what exactly is an "Ice cream paint job" anyways? God, has hip hop really been reduced to this kind of suckage!? Can't you all just replay some old Tribe Called Quest or De La Soul? Somewhere, Tupac and Biggie are rolling over in their graves.

* Overall, all of you, PLEASE try to expand your playlists. There was a time where I was in the car between 5 and 5:30pm daily. I knew that I could hear "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters on Live 105, "Jackie and Diane" (Really!?! How is this still on the air?!) on KFOG and "Here I Am" by Rick Ross on KMEL. EVERY DAY. The same songs at the same time. It went on like this for about a month. The complete lack of interest in actually playing something different or effort on the part of the "DJs" was not lost on me. There's SO much music out there in your respective genres. Please try to broaden your horizons and play something not so common and sucky and expected. Or else.

Love,

The Enforcer

Sometimes, my commute doesn't suck all that much

2009-10-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

I was on my way home from class today, angry that I could have gotten an extra nine points on my most recent exam had I only given my answers in the correct units (damn it!), when it started to rain. "Big whoop," I thought. It had been raining all day. At times, the ferocity of the downpour was such that seeing through the windshield became difficult.

But on the way home, the sun broke through the thick grayness while the rain came down steadily creating a gorgeous full rainbow. Luckily, I glanced over, smiled, and then immediately grabbed my camera. Note that I took the pic through my window which was covered in rain drops. If you look closely, the beginning of a second rainbow is there, too. Pretty cool. It definitely snapped me out of my angry funk. Suddenly, sitting in traffic wasn't so bad.

Good thing I always carry my camera with me...

The carnage

2009-10-13T20:36:00.001-07:00

The Bay Area experienced its first good storm of the season today. It was a doozie, for sure. This picture was taken right down the street from my house. Even though it blocked nearly four lanes of traffic, the huge tree thankfully missed all the power lines and more importantly, the Comcast lines.

You see, I seem to have picked up a nasty little cold and all I wanted to do after physiology lab was curl up under a blanket and spend some quality time with the DVR. When I saw the tree, I panicked a tad. But all was well with the cable. Wish all was well with me...

See you all soon. *sniffle...sneeze*

Early lessons learned...

2009-10-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

After a little searching, a lot of worry and a metric F*CKTON of stress, DJC and I have booked a venue and set a date for our wedding. Believe me when I say that this was no easy feat. And its a HUGE relief to have that very large hurdle taken care of. I've honestly never been so stressed out by something in my life...not by midterms and finals, certification exams, car accidents, money issues, parental sicknesses, etc. When faced with the task of finding the perfect venue that would allow for the things that DJC and I want, I quite literally became sick to my stomach. More than once, I verbally said that I didn't want to do all this...I wanted very much to marry DJC, but I became nauseated at the thought of planning it all out. City Hall would have worked just fine. Everyone kept telling me how much fun I should be having, but I just felt ill and overwhelmed.

Single ladies, take note: No matter where you are in your relationship, its never to early to start thinking about what your ideal wedding would be like. I think part of my problem stemmed from the fact that I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted in terms of a venue, or anything else for that matter. It should be easy, right? Girls think about this type of thing all the time. I know some ladies who have every single detail planned, and they're not even in a relationship. For them, I can imagine that settling on a venue, caterer, dress, etc, would be a breeze. But for me, someone who thought she'd never be getting married EVER, I haven't actually spent any time thinking about what I wanted. And thus, choosing a venue became a huge stress for me.

I haven't started shopping for a dress yet, but again, I find myself in the same boat. I have no clear idea what I want. The only thing I do know is that my dress will not be white, ivory, cream, eggshell, or anything resembling those colors. But as far as silhouette goes, I'm totally clueless. I faithfully watch TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress", but all of those dresses are so over the top and *totally* out of my price range. The only thing I've seen on that show that I really dig is this, and talk about over the top...sheesh! Perhaps I should start looking at dresses, or at least start thinking about how I would like to look on the big day...

The take home message here is that its always better to have a game plan when taking on a new endeavor. I had no idea what I was up against with this whole wedding thing and I'm just starting out! I know it should be fun, and I'm sure it will be at some point. But for right now, I'm just going to enjoy the relaxation that comes from knowing that we've got a venue and a date locked up. Onward...

Monkey see...

2009-10-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

Major dork-out warning. Read on if you want to get your nerd on...

When I registered for physiology this semester I thought to myself, "How much could have changed from when I took it during my undergrad days?". BTW, that was in the late 90s. The answer is, of course, LOTS. Some of the things that happen within the human body remain largely a mystery with new discoveries being made all the time. Naturally, there's plenty that I didn't learn back in the day.

During the neurological unit, the professor presented a short video about mirror neurons which was especially interesting for those of us in the class who play sports or dance. The basic idea is that the more athletic ability you have, the more you enjoy watching sports and the more you emotionally invested you get. Watching the sporting activity or dance produces the same neurological response as if you were doing those actions yourself.

Mirror neurons are located in the premotor cortex of the inferior parietal lobe of the brain. Recall that the parietal lobe plays a role in coordinating the body's motions and integrating sensory information. The video presented a study with individuals doing certain simple physical tasks, such as opening closing one's hand. EEG data shows that the area where mirror neurons are located fired strongly. Then, the same subjects watched a video of the same task. EEG data showed the exact same area of the brain fired strongly again, leading researchers to conclude that, as far as this area of the brain is concerned, watching the activity is the same as doing it.

Of course, this finding has implications that reach into a great many fields. One such field is childhood development. Current research is looking into how infants learn and understand actions from simply watching them. If you think about it, this makes sense. I know that I've successfully gotten more than one baby to clap his or her hands after demonstrating how its done a few times.

The mirror system has also been linked to empathy, emotions and intentions (or goals). Studies have been done on autistic individuals that have showed that the mirror neurons do not fire as strongly in autistic individuals, either when they are performing the task or watching it. They are able to imitate the action, but don't understand why they're doing it. Anatomically, these individuals have thinner regions of mirror neurons, leading researchers to suggest that perhaps autism is caused by a lack of mirror neurons, thereby leading to deficits in social skills, emotions, empathy and understanding the goal of various actions.

Basically, what all this means for me is that because I am a fairly athletic individual, I understand the goals of sports and dance, and therefore become more emotionally invested. My mirror neuron system is responsible for this link between action and emotion. This is why I get so mushy gushy when I watch ballet or why I find certain sports (OK, all sports) so interesting and entertaining. Chances are, if you played sports at some point or possess a fair amount of athletic ability, you like watching other people play sports, too. Suddenly, it all makes sense. Fascinating.

Neurons not firing...

2009-09-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

Physiology lectures have been really interesting lately and on Thursday, we watched a video that have me a really great idea for a blog post. But DJC's dad departed earlier today, and I've spent most of my newly reclaimed time cleaning the house and attempting to recover from last night's debauchery. Ouch, my liver.

Suffice to say, I can't get it together enough today to make the blog post sound coherent and intelligent. And then tomorrow, there's Cal football. So, you know how it goes...

It's a really interesting and geeky post that needs to be done correctly. Forgive my inability to concentrate today...

Muchas gracias, mis amigos! Hasta luego...

My major food bender

2009-09-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

Lately, I haven't done much but eat. Not that I'm complaining or anything. The food has been just delicious, but I haven't been to the gym in several days. I'm getting a little squishy. Whatever, though. It's all good.

Here are a few pics from my recent food adventures:

These pics are from Monk's Kettle in San Francisco where we had lunch on Saturday afternoon. The giant pretzel with cheese sauce and mustard was beyond freaking tasty. And oh yeah, the beer was pretty good, too.

These drinks were enjoyed on Sunday afternoon at Beretta, also in San Francisco. My good lord, they were amazing. No, your eyes do not deceive you...those are basil leaves floating on top of the right and left drinks. In the pic, we've got two Lonsdales (L and R), one Il Gitano (in the back) and one Old Rasputin motor oil beer. Aside from the beer, they were the most unique cocktails we've ever had. And the food was super delicious, too. The company was also an A+. Damn right it was a good day.

If I thought the pretzel from the Monk's Kettle was huge, I had no idea what was waiting for me at Suppenküche in San Francisco earlier tonight. DJC's dad's arm is included in this picture for scale. It was seriously insane. After disposing of the onions, because you all know how I feel about onions, I dove into this thing and did my best to take it down. For dinner. Yes, that thing was my dinner. I did the best I could, but I could only get through about half, and that was with help. It was sooooooooooooooo good, though.

Suffice to say, if I don't make it in to the gym soon, I will be in serious trouble. We've got more dining outings planned for the rest of the week still! Wish me luck!!

More fillah...less thrillah

2009-09-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

DJC's dad is in town this week which means I have little time to do anything but go to my classes, clean the house, drive to and from San Francisco, and eat. This last thing is killin' me, but my god, I've had some amazing food and drinks recently.

I know I owe you all another pictorial post, and I've got it coming soon. Really, I do. But for now you all will just have to work with this hilarious video:

Have I gushed about how much I love Joe Thornton recently? Bloody hell, this is almost too awesome. He is arguably one of the best players in all of the NHL and he is such a goofball. Love how he doesn't take himself seriously at all. Classic.

California is just beautiful...Part one of a three part series

2009-09-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

The following photos were taken at various points along the Pacific Coast Highway on possibly the sunniest day of the summer. DJC and I recently took a leisurely drive down to Big Sur, where after a lovely day of sun, adrenaline (courtesy of BL's Ferrari), and good food, he asked me to marry him. Its funny how we live so close to such beautiful sites, and yet as long as DJC has been in California, this was our first trip down the coast. Enjoy the pics!

The following pics are from Andrew Molera Beach, where after a long hike from the trail head through dust and dirt and horse manure, DJC and I sat on a log and talked about our past, present and future life together. He got down on one knee, gave me a ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I couldn't stop crying...in a good way.

This will forever be our beach. But if we ever return, I vow to wear better shoes that won't leave my feet raw, blistered and bloody:

____

OUCH! I didn't know I was in for a ~2 mile hike when I chose my footwear for the day! Ugh!

Regardless of the blisters and pain, this was such a fantastic day. A HUGE thanks goes out to BL for being the most amazing friend ever and letting us borrow his excellent vehicle to make the day that much more special. Hope you all enjoyed the pics. I've got more to come. Happy Wednesday!

Your yearly VMA post

2009-09-14T09:55:00.001-07:00

I kinda got suckered into watching MTV's VMAs this year, mostly because I was writing about America's Best Dance Crew for my other blog and the coverage just seemed to spill over without me noticing. By the time I realized what I was watching, I was already hooked and had to watch. And I really didn't plan on writing about all the goings on (mostly because I don't want to give Kanye more press...not like anyone reads my blog or anything), but then I remembered that BT gets her VMA street cred with her lawyer friends from my blog, and I figured that EVERYONE would be talking about last night and I wanted her to be able to throw her two cents in.

So, BT, here ya go. This one's for you...

Last night, Taylor Swift (?) won the award for Best Female Video. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson and other people that I am forgetting were also nominated. Well, as she was giving her acceptance speech for her very first VMA ever, Kanye West, who is possibly the world's largest asswipe, had to steal her thunder:

MTV Shows

It's absolutely astounding to me how much I dislike Kayne. He wasn't even nominated for an award this year (because his music sucks) and he still had to be the center of attention. Listen douchebag, MTV can make you or break you depending on whether or not they like you. It has nothing to do with musical talent. People will like what they're told to like by MTV. Clearly, Taylor Swift is on MTV's good side and judging by the fact that you've never won a VMA, you're not. Period.

Whoever this Taylor person is, though, I feel badly for her. Poor little country singing lamb. This was her moment and Kanye had to make it all about himself...again. Ugh. I'm so tired of his attention-whoring antics and wish he would just disappear into the aether.

Anyways, later in the evening, Beyonce won the award for Video of the Year and brought Taylor back on stage to allow her to complete her acceptance speech. While Kanye showed just how disrespectful a person can be, Beyonce demonstrated a sky-high level of class:

MTV Shows

See there? All better. Taylor gets her moment, Kanye is "escorted" out of the VMAs after committing the equivalent of career suicide, and Beyonce comes away from this whole debacle looking like a saint. All is well in the world of pop music again. YAY! Cotton candy and fluffy kitten hugs all around!

So there it is, BT. Hopefully, this will earn you some pop culture points at work today. =)

Back...sorta

2009-09-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

DJC and I have been traipsing around California lately and have some lovely pics and stories to share. But for now, I'm firmly planted on my comfy couch, not looking at those pics or resizing them yet. But I will. Promise.

Highlights from this weekend include one delightful wedding in the Yosemite redwoods, showing DJC around the park I loved as a kid, and seeing my very first ever baby squirrel (although we didn't get a pic of it...it ran much too fast, and we were driving).

Pics and stories soon. Hugs!

Cupkates

2009-09-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, I admit it. I gave into Twitter. I know that I ranted and carried on about how I'd never do such a lame thing, but yes, I've been tweeting. It pains me a little to say it, really. I am hanging my head in shame as we speak (thank goodness for touch-typing!).

But as silly at Twitter is, it does have some wonderful uses, too. Take, for example, this lovely tale of a simple girl who found the ultimate sugar rush in the vast Twittersphere...

Recently, one of the folks I'm following (@WHITEMENACE) tweeted about his experience at the Outside Lands festival. He mentioned that he sampled delicious cupcakes from a truck...like a taco truck, but with cupcakes. EFFING GENIUS!! I was intrigued and began to follow the cupcake truck (@Cupkates Truck). Cupkates. "How cute!", I thought. And since I've got an insatiable sweet tooth I was more than interested in seeing if I could meet up with them at some point. I do loves me some cupcakes, ya'll.

Lucky for me, according to their Twitter page, the Cupkates Truck was scheduled to be in the UC Berkeley area last Thursday. "WOOT!", I thought! I was so excited. I left my physiology lecture early so that I could haul ass over to Berkeley and find where they had parked. Conveniently, they had tweeted their exact location and I was able to find the adorable truck and snag myself some amazing treats. I also snagged a few pictures. Check 'em out:

Look at all those yummy cupcakes! Wonder what you're looking at? Take a look at what they were offering the day I visited them:

And here's what I took home:

That's two red velvet (because they are my absolute favorite), one double vanilla (DJC's favorite), one S'mores (OMG, graham cracker crust on the bottom!!) and one Twinkie (complete with burnt marshmallow frosting and coconut). They were all ridiculously tasty. I really enjoyed each and every one, and, yes, I did eat most of them. My only gripe was with the method of transportation. The large box allowed for the cupcakes to slide around and bump into the walls, thereby smooshing the frosting and leaving it everywhere. Sad face.

If you're on Twitter and in the Bay Area, you best follow @Cupkates Truck. She is delightful and so is her husband, who was outside of the truck chatting with the folks on the street. Good people, great cupcakes...mobile cupcakes! A brilliant idea I will continue to support!

Adventures at the local Safeway

2009-09-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

College football starts today, which means that I needed provisions. Food, drink and the like. I put on my script Cal t-shirt and headed out to the grocery store.

As I stepped up to the meat counter, I was immediately greeted by the largest, happiest man I have seen in a long time. His name, according to his name tag, was Eric.

"May I help you on this fiiiiiiiiine day?", Eric asked me.

"Yes please. I'd like six slices of bacon.", I replied.

"SLICES?! I thought you were going to ask me for six pounds!!

"Well, I would get more, but I don't think we could eat it all and I certainly don't want to waste good bacon."

"Girl, please. I can handle six of these slices on my own!"

"Actually, I can too, but I really shouldn't. I do love me some bacon, though."

"Child, please. You're skinny! Unless you're pushing 225 on the scale, you're skinny in my mind!"

I laughed. I'm not sure when I was last told that I am skinny. Serious comedy. Eric happily packed up my half-pound of bacon and added a "Thank you, Jesus" when he handed it to me. In this context, it made perfect sense. I continued to smile as I walked away from the meat counter towards the beer aisle.

Once there, I encountered three guys all dressed in Cal gear. They immediately saw my t-shirt and hollered "GO BEARS!". I returned the chant, although not nearly as loudly.

"So are you going to the game?", one guy asked me.

"No, we're gonna watch it on TV", I replied, as I surveyed the beer choices.

"Yeah, its on ESPN2...". Immediately, I cut in.

"Which kinda sucks because I feel that ESPN never gives the Pac-10 the respect is deserves. Plus the game will not be in HD. Weak".

All three of them looked at me like I had just said the most amazing thing they had ever heard. We continued to chit-chat about how the national sports channels favor the east coast teams and how its total bullshit that one ESPN guy actually chose Maryland over Cal. We agreed that Cal would shut them up with their actions on the field. The conversation then turned to the Navy Ohio State game that had taken place earlier in the day. After about five minutes, I went on my way. They all looked a little sad as I walked out of the beer aisle and gave me one more "GO BEARS!".

Damn, I love Cal fans. GO BEARS!!!

Adventures in tangent land

2009-09-01T20:06:00.001-07:00

The setting: Room D115, physiology lab, about 1:45pm today.

The people: Dr. Nixon, who is about 7 months pregnant, and us, her students.

The scene: She is lecturing about the various phases of mitosis. Some students are staring off into space. Some are feverishly writing down every word. Most of us fall into the former category. Standard.

"Now, during the interphase, which accounts for about 90% of the total cell cycle time, DNA is being replic....."

Then, Dr. Nixon just sort of unexpectedly trailed off, seeming to have lost interest in her own lecture. She stared out the window with an obvious look of longing on her face. We turned around to see a large truck whizzing by the window. It was about the size of a medium delivery truck.

"I really thought that was an ice cream truck just now," she said. "They always drive through my neighborhood, but they're always going too fast. They still play their little song, but they drive at like 40 miles per hour. I never have time to run inside and get money."

She said this all with a most serious tone in her voice. The room immediately broke into laughter. I definitely got a kick out of her little side trip into ice cream truck land, and immediately gained an all new level of respect for her. Despite never being pregnant or knowing what those kinds of cravings are like, I understand that sometimes only ice cream will fix things. Even though she was in the middle of teaching roughly 30 students,the need for ice cream took precedence. I totally get it.

Even after lecture resumed, I was still chuckling to myself...and really wanting some Rocky Road. You know how it goes...

He asked! I said yes!

2009-09-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!

Jump through those hoops

2009-08-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

My physiology class started last week. As of this morning, I was still not enrolled because there is a chemistry prerequisite. No problem there. I took general chem as a freshman, and took organic chem two years ago. The problem lies in the fact that no one at my current school knows that. The physiology professor recommended that I contact the department head, show him my transcript, and he'd "remove the block" so I could then register. OK, I though. Easy enough. Except, yeah...not so much.

I have emailed the department head (Dr. Steiner) three times, I have stopped by his office on several different days, I have asked when his office hours are...and I have yet to actually speak to the man. I was getting a bit frustrated. And I NEEDED to add this class soon, as the remaining spaces were filling up. I awoke early today bound and determined to get this matter handled. Except, yeah...not so much. Here's a breakdown of how my day went, with a small detour:

9:40am: Arrived on campus and headed straight to Dr. Steiner's office. Of course, he's wasn't there. Shocking, really. Class wasn't scheduled to start until 10am, so I decided to make good use of my time.

9:41am: Marched over to the administration office to buy a parking permit. I was told I needed to go next door to the cashier's office because that's where they're sold. Fine.

9:43am: Alarmingly large cashier lady asked for my student ID number. When I told her that didn't know it, she huffed and told me that she could not look me up any other way. "Liar," I thought, but whatever. She then directed me back to the administration office, where I could use the public computers to figure out what my ID number is. Ohhhh kaaaaay....

9:45am: After a fair amount of frustration because I didn't know how to use their computer system, I finally determined my ID number. I almost stomped back over to the cashier's office.

9:50am: I presented my newly acquired ID number to alarmingly large cashier lady. She entered it and then looked at me like I was a total idiot. "Ma'am, you're not actually registered for any classes. I cannot sell you a permit if you are not taking any classes here". I tried to explain the chemistry prerequisite situation to her, but she was totally uninterested and actually shooed me away. Nice.

(As an aside, while I was standing in line for the cashier, I noticed the receptionist was taking a very personal call, very loudly, and was totally unconcerned with who might be listening. There were at least 5 people in line including myself. We all now know way more about Lamar than we'd ever care to)

10am: Physiology class, that I'm not enrolled in, started.

12pm: I resumed my search for Dr. Steiner. I started at his office. No dice. At the urging of my professor, I hoofed it up to the Business and Transportation office to explain my situation and see if they might be able to track him down. Helpful receptionist lady gave me a yellow "challenge" form to fill out and take BACK to the administration office. Apparently, this is what I needed to fill out to be able to register.

12:15pm: Another helpful lady at the administration office looked at my yellow challenge form, declared that she'd never seen "that one" before, and asked me again what I needed to accomplish. By this time, I was close to losing it. After explaining yet again what I needed, she looked at me and said, "Is that all? And you have your transcripts with you? Well, just go see a counselor! They'll waive that chemistry class for you!". I nearly died. "Is that all?". SERIOUSLY?!?!?! I had been trying to get this whole debacle resolved for nearly a week now!! And all I needed to do from the get-go was see a counselor?! FML.

After meeting with said counselor later in the day, I am now enrolled in the physiology class. It didn't need to be as hard as it was. Sometimes I think that people who work at junior colleges make you run around like a moron for their own enjoyment. If that's the case, I sure as hell made someone's day today...

Bits and bobs

2009-08-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

The Parking Debacle: I decided today would be a wonderful day to pay that $41 parking ticket I got from the City of Berkeley back in June. Yeah, I waited...MUCH too long. But today was the day. I knew it was going to be more than the original $41, but I had no idea just how much more.

I logged on to their website and clicked the link to enter my citation number. Imagine my utter SHOCK when the total came up as $123!! WHOA! And then, to add insult to injury, there's a $2 "convenience" fee tacked on for those who choose to pay online. Well, that just wasn't going to work for me. I immediately closed the payment window before going any further. I needed an explanation. But as I tried to click to other parts of the site, it froze. Then it just simply refused to load at all. After a few frustrating minutes, I decided to call. Yeah, that wasn't really working either. I kept getting the annoying three beeps with "We're sorry. All circuits are busy. Please try again later".

Finally, after trying another number, I was able to get through to a wonderfully helpful lady named Tamara. She explained that due to state budget issues, the City of Berkeley has had to impose some parking fee "increases" (I could totally tell that she was making the quote signs with her hands when she said increases. LOL!). What this means for idiots like me that forget to pay in a timely manner is that the fee has gone from $30 to close to $80. I nearly dropped the phone. I whined and complained and carried on until Tamara put me on hold. When she came back, she explained that she was willing to waive the late fee so that all I had to pay was the original $41 fine. I quickly gave her my credit card number before she changed her mind. TOTAL SCORE!!!

Chain Restaurants: Alright, I admit it. In some cases, I love a good chain restaurant. You always know exactly what you're getting, no matter what city you dine in. The quality is totally consistent, no matter if you're stopping at a Chili's in Honolulu, or if you're hittin' up the local Panera in Wauwatosa, WI. Its strangely comforting to know that your skillet queso will taste exactly the same in an airport in Nashville, TN as it does in Walnut Creek, CA.

Recently (like today recently), we finally got a Panera in one of the local shopping plazas. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I know their sandwiches and soups are generic at best, but its nice knowing exactly what you're going to get. I totally enjoyed my broccoli cheese soup with half a turkey sandwich today, which is exactly how its been at every Panera I've ever been to (although I must admit, I'm paying for it a bit now...heartburn).

In the same vein, DJC has informed me that there's a new Specialty's opening up right near his office. OMG, they have the best cookies in all of the land. Especially their black and white cookies. I could take down several of them if pressed. I'd hate myself later, but I could do it. Specialty's also has soups and sandwiches that are only slightly less generic than Panera, but equally as tasty. And dependable. You know that when you walk through their doors, you will always get a decent meal.

Ok, that's all. I'm too sore to type any more, thanks to last night's Core class from hell. I am looking forward to reuniting with old friends tomorrow at BT's BBQ, though. Mmmmm...BBQ.

Thank you, state of California...Now with UPDATES!

2009-08-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

...for changing my plans for nursing school entirely. Due to the massively fucked state budget, funding for community college classes has been slashed big time and the ONE class that I need to be able to apply to a certain college is full. I cannot get in this semester. Previously, the college had enough funding for two sections of this particular class, but this year there's only one. And since the applications for the nursing program are due in October, EVERYONE needs to take this class to be able to apply. What that means for me is that I'm gonna have to re-vamp my plans and not apply to this school (at least not this year).

Instead, I will now be taking pathophysiology and a basic nutrition class which will allow me to apply to a school I had previously ruled out. I counted this school out because I feared that getting in would be very difficult. I opted for the easier junior colleges that chose their nursing students via a lottery system. But the problem with the lottery system is that it doesn't take into consideration how well you've done in your prerequisite classes. You could have *just* skated by with the minimum GPA, have your name pulled in the random draw and get in, while others who might be more qualified (and would be more successful in the program) are left out. During the long car ride home today after the news that I would not get in to my class, I decided I'd rather be admitted to a program based on my academic merits as opposed to sheer luck.

Make no mistake, I will still be applying to several other junior colleges that utilize the lottery system in the hopes that I will get in *somewhere*. Because, in the end, I don't care where I get in...just as long as there's a nursing program out there that's willing to take me. The difference in salary between an AA in nursing or a Bachelor's is minimal, so that's not really a concern. But the quality of the program might differ between a lottery school and one that is choosy about whom they admit. I just don't know...

The point here is that the state of California has thrown me a nasty curve ball and I've got to figure out where I'm gonna go from here. At this point in time, I'm just not sure. Stay tuned for updates...

THIS JUST IN: In a shocking turn of events, this morning I got an email from the professor of the over-enrolled class letting me know that she was able to squeeze me in. YAY! Plan A is intact! Now, as far as the other school goes, I still have two prerequisites to finish up, but since that school accepts applications twice a year, I can take those classes in the spring and submit my application in July. That is, of course, assuming that my name doesn't get pulled out of the magic hat for one of the lottery schools. We shall see. Let the homework begin...

Adventures at Lush

2009-08-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I stopped by my local Lush to stock up on some inordinately expensive soap that is not, in any way, shape or form, recession friendly. No matter, though. DJC and I are totally hooked and have been for years. I was greeted by this interesting storefront window as I walked in. I wondered what was up...

Lush has always prided itself on being very environmentally friendly, with some of its products being completely vegan and 100% natural. Lately though, they've decided to eschew palm oil altogether in an effort to preserve the natural habitats of orangutans. While I applaud their commitment to doing what they can, let me just say that I would use Lush products if they had the blood, sweat and tears of the Baby Jesus in them. They're that good.

I wasn't supposed to take a picture of the window, but I figured that after I coated both of my hands with green little kid finger paint to contribute to the "artwork" and support the whole "wash your hands of palm" movement, I didn't think anyone would mind. Especially because I was outside of the store. I even got a free sample of their Sexy Peel soap (sans palm oil, of course, even though the one in the link still has it) for planting my palms on the window. It was a strange experience, but I'm up for anything that ends with free Lush soap. =)

Recipe time

2009-08-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

My blog friends always post the most delicious sounding recipes on their blogs. They use fresh ingredients that they've harvested from their gardens or bought at local farmer's markets to make all kinds of creative dishes that literally make my mouth water. Sometimes, I get pretty jealous.

I can't cook for shit, and ya'll have seen the "garden" in the back yard. But, in my new quest to consume as much Zaya rum as I possibly can, I did create a dessert last night that merits a short blog post. Here's the recipe:

Combine the following ingredients:
1 bowl of vanilla ice cream.
1 shot of Zaya Gran Reserva rum poured over top
Eat immediately and swoon with joy...

The bowl of ice cream can be any size of your choosing, but keep in mind that you may need to adjust the amount of rum you add.

Not gonna lie, it was delicious. Simple, not difficult, no complicated steps, but HUGE flavor. That's all.

This now concludes my attempt at online recipes. ;)

The payoff

2009-08-10T17:37:00.001-07:00

Two weekends ago, DJC and I went out for a frivolous night of drinking. We started out at Forbidden Island, a kitschy cute Tiki lounge, where the drinks are totally foo-foo and, if you're not careful, will knock you on your tush. Here's a pic:

Drinks on the menu come with strength ratings, or more correctly, a number of bottles with Xs on them, indicating just how much alcohol one can expect. They range in strength from zero (non-alcoholic drinks) to five bottles (the appropriately named "Zombie"). The drink on the left is called a "Boo Loo". Silly name...with four bottles and Xs. The blue one is a "Neptune's Garden" which kicked my ass with 3 Xs. Two or three drinks from Forbidden Island's vast repertoire might earn you a cab ride home, or at least a fun, stumbling walk. So, of course, we love this place.

Afterward, we headed over to Havana because I desperately wanted plantains, and Forbidden Island's limited menu of fried foods left a little to be desired. When DJC and I took two seats at the bar, we were greeted by bartender Johnathan. Just trying to make conversation, I asked what his favorite dark rum was. He immediately turned around a grabbed a bottle of Zaya Gran Reserva. He poured us a little straight up and asked us to smell it. I inhaled deeply and smelled warm sugar, vanilla, and caramel. It was positively luscious. Then he made DJC his "daiquiri", which consisted of a shot and a half of Zaya, fresh squeezed lime juice and a splash of simple syrup, all shaken with a crushed mint leaf garnish. Quite literally, it is the best mixed drink I have ever had in my life. Just delicious and lethal, especially on a hot day. I was so blown away that I came home and wrote a glowing, 5-star Yelp review.

Last weekend, we rounded up the usual suspects and headed back to Havana. The cocktail was so tasty that they HAD to try it. Bartender Johnathan recognized us from the previous week, and had read my Yelp review. We ordered two rounds of drinks and several appetizers. Johnathan sent over a decadent chocolate mousse dessert, on the house, and "forgot" to charge us for several drinks. He said it was the least he could do after the great Yelp review. He explained that they've been getting slammed on Yelp lately and really appreciated my nice words and that I had brought people back to try his drinks. We all had a great night and I've found a new favorite rum. Everyone wins!!

Most people only Yelp when they've had a negative dining experience. I get that...I've done it, for sure. But how frequently do we write about our good experiences? You never know when your review will be read and really appreciated by the owners or managers of the restaurants you visit. And if you're a regular, as DJC and I aspire to become at Havana, your positive review might even have unexpected bonuses attached to it! So, if you've recently dined somewhere outstanding or experienced excellent service, write about it. You never know who could be seeing your words and how they could pay off in the future...

Adventures in karaoke

2009-08-05T16:00:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to write about this FOREVER, but blogging keeps getting pushed to the back burner lately. Without getting in to it too much, there's been a lot going on, so blogging is pretty far down on the list. But this story's epic, ya'll. And its guaranteed to make you laugh.

A few weeks ago, I hopped in my car and headed over to my sister's friend's birthday party at The Mint in San Francisco. My role for the night was to provide backup for my sister in the event that she ran into someone she really didn't want to see. Because that's what sisters do. Anyways, ever heard of this joint? I surely hadn't. All I knew was that it was a karaoke bar, and that alone scared me. But when I heard that it was a predominantly gay karaoke bar, I became interested. This might actually be kinda fun, I thought to myself. I had zero plans to sing any songs, but hey, I could do a night of karaoke and free drinks...sure.

When we walked in, someone was doing a HORRID rendition of "With a Little Help From My Friends". It hurt my soul. Somewhere, John Lennon was rolling over in his grave. Everyone in our party looked at one another skittishly. Oh man, I thought. This was gonna be a LOOOONG night. But after several drinks, several songs by people who were pretty good, and several who where TOTALLY having a blast regardless of singing sucktitude, I stared to sing along in my seat. Before I knew it, I looked over to see TW (sis's significant other) BELTING out the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Yeah, that's right, the Rick Roll. Funny thing was that I also knew all the lyrics. Alcohol was flowing, people were singing fun songs, and I had to admit to myself that this wasn't so bad.

Then, like 5 people in a row sang totally sappy, Debbie Downer, buzzkill songs. You could totally feel the place's energy go right out the door along with more than half the people. The vibe became so serious! Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" at a karaoke bar?! Really?! I don't care if you can totally rock that very difficult song (which the guy did)....karaoke is supposed to be silly and fun. Like Spice Girls, Bon Jovi fun. Like Sir Mix-a-Lot fun. Sir Mix-a-lot. Hmmmmm. That gave me an idea. In my drunken mind, I devised a sure-fire way to get people involved, hyped up and singing along again. I grabbed a pen and a request form, snagged $5 from TW, wrote down my name as well as my sister's and submitted it to the sleazy "DJ".

Ten minutes later, my sister and I found ourselves up on stage BUSTING out "Baby Got Back". Keep in mind, we're two very white girls in a gay karaoke bar. The details of the actual performance are a little fuzzy to me because of the nerves and the alcohol, but apparently neither of us looked at the screen once for the lyrics. There were mad dance moves on stage, dancing off stage, and people cheering us on. Because we were seriously working the dance moves while trying to sing, we were pretty out of breath. Looking back, I personally feel like I could have done a better job of bringing Sir Mix-a Lot's vision to life. But one fact was clear: the white girls single handedly got the place hopping again! Massive high-fives ensued as we left the stage. Somewhere, at the back of The Mint, I think I saw the "Nessun Dorma" guy giving us the stink eye.

I called it a night shortly after that. I figured there was no way I could top my performance, so I decided to end on a high note. There's no video, thank goodness, so the memory of bringing the bar back to life lives on only in a few pics that people managed to get. Regardless of how apprehensive I was walking in to the whole event, I walked out of the bar feeling like a freaking star. Karaoke's good like that. Perhaps next time, if there is a next time, I'll do it a little more sober, though...

Video of some of the most amazing moments I experienced that evening coming soon... promise, its worth it.

Gardening 101: Fertilizer

2009-08-02T13:09:00.001-07:00

Yes, its that awesome KFC bucket from last post, now with a half eaten watermelon, small rind and wet paper towel thrown in for what I can only assume is fertilizer. How this whole setup will work is beyond anything I can understand. Perhaps my neighbors know something about soil science and osmosis that I do not.

Whatever the case, one gardening fact remains: I cannot make this shit up, folks.

Gardening 101: Planters

2009-07-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Lately, a few of my friends have been posting lovely pics of their gardens and the fruits of their labor. BT's tomatoes look mouth-watering (like, seriously!), Arvay's squash has me thinking about delicious soups and raviolis, and Miss E's garden looked to be coming along nicely (although I couldn't find pics!). Well, all you fancy-schmancy gardeners, have I got a treat for you!

Behind our house, there is a "garden", although it is not maintained by either DJC or myself. Our wacky neighbors have haphazardly planted all sorts of things that we can't identify in all kinds of unusual "planters". So, in honor of my friends' hard work and carefully planned out gardens, I present some photos that are the EXACT OPPOSITE of that:

What the hell is this thing? Honestly. And if you look closely, I'll bet you can see the KFC BUCKET that something else unidentifiable is planted it. The best part is that the KFC bucket is semi-planted in the ground. Nothing says garden fresh produce like KFC. Word.

More unidentifiable stuff. And look! There's that awesome KFC bucket again! I can't get over that thing!! Seriously, how much do proper planting buckets cost? I'll bet its a lot less than a greazy bucket of chicken.

This might be my favorite backyard sight. No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is a bunch of random crap...planted in AN OLD BATHTUB! I don't get it. Where does one even get an old bathtub? And moreover, what possesses one to turn it into a planter?! Notice that there is plenty of good, old fashioned dirt all around the bathtub. So strange.

These are growing on one of the plants in the bathtub. They look like little chili peppers. Little black, poisonous, stinky chili peppers. What are they in reality? I have no freaking idea.

Another creative "planter", or, as the rest of us in the normal world call it, a recycling bin.

I believe the shrubbery on the ground is a cherry tomato plant that has all but killed the Meyer lemon tree that was originally there. This tree used to produce lovely, delicious, sweet lemons. It still kinda does, but the fruit is now MUCH higher up on the tree. The neighbors have over-fertilized the tomato plant to the point where it has taken over pretty much everything else in the area. The irony of the whole mess is that the plant hardly produces any tomatoes. Most of them spoil before they are ready to be picked.

Here's a better shot of the once prolific Meyer lemon tree. Notice that it's being choked by whatever is growing near it. Also, notice all the random junk in the background.

This whole area is a sore spot for DJC and I, as we would like to be able to use it, or at least make it nicer, but since we do not own the building and the other tenants are relatives of the person who does, we get bubkus. Its a bummer that we can't make the space a decent place to actually grow fruits and veggies, but every now and then I do get a strange laugh out of the plants in the bathtub....

Harry Potter: A brief review

2009-07-17T18:07:00.001-07:00

After my weekly waste of 3 hours (read: my "psychology" class), I needed something to cheer me up. So, I went to see the latest Harry Potter movie by myself at 3pm yesterday. I bought my matinee ticket, snagged a package of frozen (!!) Junior Mints, and took a seat near the back. I was ready to rock. Movies!! YAY! Fun!!

Ok, lemme just say that if I was looking for something to cheer me up, I picked the wrong damn movie. Man, this is a one hell of a dark tale. Around the time of The Prisoner of Azkaban, the tone of the Harry Potter saga took a darker turn and since then, all of the movies have been decidedly...well...dark with more adult topics. Half Blood Prince is no exception. Some of the scenes are downright scary (OMG, the chick with the necklace and the locket in the bowl scenes!!) and I'm 33 years old, damn it. I think any kid would be scared bonkers by this movie, but then again, some of the very adult ideas and themes might just sail right over their heads, leaving them a bit confused. For a series that has traditionally been marketed towards children, this movie is definitely geared more towards the adults in the audience.

I gave up reading the books after The Goblet of Fire because the books and movies didn't really match. Apparently, that's very much the case with this last movie. I'm kinda glad I didn't read the book, though, because there were some seriously shocking moments that I would have known about and expected and its much more fun to be surprised. But I hear from people that have read the book that the movie isn't even close. Apparently, they would have had to make it like 3 1/2 hours to fit in all the plot intricacies. At 2 hours and 45 minutes, I wasn't bored, but I wasn't loving every second either. I totally couldn't get enough of The Sorcerer's Stone and would have been happy to watch another 2-3 hours with no complaints. Not so with this one.

Anyways, I still loved this movie as a whole. I thought it was beautifully done and its great to see that some of the cast, who we all met as children, have actually become very good actors. Its just that I feel its not for kids. Parents, when your children have to ask what's going on every second of every scene, you know its probably a good idea to leave them at home, that's all...

Weekend roundup...the photography edition

2009-07-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

This truly was a gorgeous, but strange Bay Area weekend. The weather was all over the place...sunny one minute and raining the next. Yes, rain. In July. IN CALIFORNIA! Weird, I know. But the erratic weather really did make for some excellent photos. Here, have a look:

I took these at the Naval boat dock right down the street from our house after dinner on Friday night. A few minutes after we left, I noticed in my rear view mirror that the sky had become even more orange and amazing. I was bummed that I didn't get some better shots, even though these are pretty good. DJC always says I'm impatient. Guess he's right.

This was taken from our back steps minutes after it stopped raining early Saturday evening. BL happened to be on his way over to our house around the same time and described his weather experience for us: "One minute, the sun was so bright I literally had to put my sun glasses on and lower the sun shade in my car so that I could still see the road. The next minute it was raining, but it was still sunny. SO WEIRD!!" On the way up our back stairs, he pulled his cell phone out to show me a pic he had just taken of the resulting rainbow, but then I saw this one behind him. By the time I grabbed my camera, this was all that was left. Still pretty damn cool, though.

Recently, I've been experimenting with Trader Joe's fresh pizza crust. The top pic is my very first effort. I made a BBQ chicken pizza with thinly sliced heirloom tomatoes, lipstick peppers and aged gouda. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it was effing *delicious*. The bottom pic represents my attempt at recreating the "You Say Potato" pizza from Escape from New York. This pizza has a pesto sauce, thinly sliced red potatoes, roasted garlic, mozzarella, smoked fontina and parmigiano reggiano cheeses. Although it wasn't quite the same, it was still very tasty. I can't say I'll ever go back to buying frozen pizza or ordering takeout again. TJ's fresh crust tastes great and is way more cost effective, not to mention more fun.

Another great weekend in the books. What did you all do? Anything cool? Happy new week, ya'll. =)

OH! BTW, Dr. Cromartie accepted all five of my written summaries last Thursday (two from the first week, two from the current week, and one extra credit assignment). FINALLY! It only took me three weeks to figure out what he wanted. Damn.

Second verse, same as the first

2009-07-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

After last week's "psychology" class from hell (refresher here), I didn't think things could get any worse or more ridiculous. By this point in my life, I should know that things can ALWAYS get worse or more ridiculous. Sweet.

For a detailed recap of how Thursday went, please see the refresher post. This week's time line was almost exactly like the last class, minute for minute. Because I had a hunch that this was going to happen again, I saved all of my reading for the two and a half hours of class where I'd have nothing better to do. I brought my laptop to the first class, but because the building where this waste of time is held is on the outskirts of campus, the wireless signal doesn't reach. Killing time on the internet was a no-go.

"But Enforcer," you might say, "you still have your cell phone." Wrong. During the first class, Dr. Cromartie made it very clear that if he sees anyone with a cell phone in their hand during class time, he will subtract 30 points from your final class point total. So far, he's done it to three people. He followed the third person into the hallway after he saw her pull her phone out of her bag. I've been known to take my entire purse into the ladies' room because he can't question me taking my purse and he certainly can't follow me into the loo to bust me. While safe in the confines of the stalls, I send DJC text messages laced with profanity and threats of violence. So yeah, studying is the only thing I can do during the first two and half hours of class.

Anyways, my turn finally came to deliver my video summaries. I learned during last week's slaughter-fest that shorter summaries are definitely the way to go. Dr. Cromartie glanced over the second week's summaries and accepted them. WOOT, I thought. I then handed him my corrected summaries from the first week. Immediately, he picked out the one freaking quote I included, circled it and informed me that the comma belongs inside the quotes, handed BOTH summaries back to me and told me to hand them in next week. Holy shit, REALLY?!?!? At that point, I was certain that he'd never bother to actually read the summaries themselves. He even had a ruler out at one point and was measuring margins. No shit.

Well, here's the real test. During class, I realized that one of the videos I watched and recapped was the wrong one. Let's see if he notices. My bet is that he won't. I probably could have written the entire thing in Farsi and he wouldn't have caught it. But put a fucking comma outside the quotation marks and look out!

And, I don't know why I didn't catch this before last Thursday, but the class, officially titled "Life Span Psychology," has NOTHING to do with life span or psychology. Our book is a sociology book. The videos focus on various aspects of society, such as the study of the social stratification throughout history. God help me if any of the nursing schools I apply to ever ask me about what I've learned in life span psychology. I honestly don't know what I'd say.

The worst part is that Dr. Cromartie happens to be the department chair for the Social Sciences program. If I were to complain (which I'm strongly considering) I'd have to go over his head, and I don't know who that is. He obviously has to report to someone, but finding that person is proving to be more than difficult.

In short, I'm pissed. I'm basically paying for overpriced basic grammar and discipline lessons, while not learning anything about a core requirement for most nursing schools. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I HATE when my time is so blatantly wasted. Fuck this class.

You're supposed to feed a cold, right?

2009-07-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

And starve the flu? Have I got that right? If not, I don't know what the hell is going on with me, then. Long story short, I am as sick as a dog right now. Have been since I woke up on Saturday morning. Not that it's slowed me, or my appetite, down too much, though...

Saturday night, DJC, BL and I hit San Francisco to blow off a little steam and to check out on of my fave DJs ever, the darn cool Sam Pool (also known as SPL). Last time we caught up with this guy was in November and he was spinning dubstep, which he is not that well known for. Hard and rough drum n' bass is his specialty and Saturday night, he was scheduled to drop "gunshots to the chest" at Underground SF. We feared that the place would be packed seeing as that it was Pride weekend, but there were the perfect amount of people there; not so many that dancing was difficult, but not too few that the night could be considered a bust. Anyways, we drank. And drank. Shenanigans ensued. BL slept in his car. It was an awesome night full of good friends and great music.

The next morning I awoke to an empty tummy. Feeling pretty shitty, I decided that the only thing worth eating could be found at McDonald's. Now, it's probably been a good 5 years, maybe more, since I've been to a McDonald's. Seriously. But for whatever reason, I NEEDED a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, hash browns, a McCafe, and orange juice. To add insult to injury, I didn't even get out of the car when I went. Hey, the drive-thru was empty and I was tired, damn it. GO ME!!

Let me just say that I enjoyed every single greasy-ass bite of breakfast. And, my iced vanilla McCafe latte was better than the ones I get at Chargebucks. Yeah, seriously! I got it with nonfat milk (which is pretty hilarious considering my calorie fest with the actual food I got) and it was cheaper than anything Chargebucks offers. I might never go back there again and just stick with the McCafe!! Weird, I know.

Yesterday, I woke up with a miserable sore throat and a craving for donuts. Sure, I could have just gone to Jamba Juice and gotten something healthy, but when I'm sick, the body gets what the body wants. I savored every bite of a delicious glazed donut.

Today, my car just mysteriously steered itself to Taco Bell for a Volcano taco (OMG, YUM!)

Needless to say, if I don't get well enough to make it back to the gym soon, I'm gonna be in some serious trouble! LOL!

3 hours I will never get back

2009-06-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Ooooooh, I'm in a bad mood, y'all. I just wasted three hours in a stuffy choir room full of understandably agitated people and one professor who thinks the world revolves around him. I hate nothing more than for my time to be so blatantly wasted as it was earlier this morning. Here's a full run-down of how today's installment of Psychology 128 went. Hang on tight, because this was one ri-goddamn-diculous ride...

9:37am: Show up for class in stuffy choir room. Find seat. Resume studying for exam that is scheduled to happen during today's class. Class begins at 9:40am.
9:55am: Dr. Cromartie walks in. He informed us during the first class that he is to be addressed ONLY as Dr. Cromartie, because that's the relationship that he has with his students. Well, la di dah, Doctor.
10am: After much paper shuffling, Dr. Cromartie calls roll. This takes an inordinate amount of time because the only answers he will accept when your name is called are "present" or "here". You'd think that it wouldn't be that difficult, but for some people it is. He will continue to call your name until you say either "present or here". This can take a while.
10:20am: Dr. Cromartie calls us up in groups of 10 to turn in our homework assignments. These consist of two written summaries of videos that we were to watch outside of the class. He gave us a very strict set of formatting rules for these summaries. If the rules were not followed, he informs us that the summaries will be returned in order for corrections to be made and re-submitted during the following week's class. As I watched group after group attempt to turn in their work, I noticed that he gave nearly every single person their papers back for corrections.
10:45am: I am called up. I thought I had done the assignment properly and looked forward to receiving comments on my thoughtful analysis of the videos. Unfortunately, I had included a colon in the title of each of my summaries. He circled the colons and handed my papers back. After this spectacle, I'm fairly certain that he'll never read the summaries to see if we're actually learning any of the material. He's only concerned with whether or not we're capable of conforming to his silly formatting rules. I'm tempted to insert a paragraph in my next summary with all sorts of curse words and personal insults just to see if he does read them. Needless to say, I was pissed. Not only had over AN HOUR of classtime passed, we hadn't yet taken the exam and I could see no end in sight to this paper correcting business. Out of 78 students, he took 8 people's work. Wow.
11:17am: The assignment butchering extravaganza ends. Whew, I thought. At least we still had a little over an hour to complete the exam. Plenty of time. Then, Dr. Cromartie simply walked out of the stuffy choir room. He didn't say where he was going, he just left. After about 15 minutes, I scanned the room for hidden cameras hoping that this class is actually just one big psychology experiment and that Dr. Cromartie would publish his findings at the end of the summer. There could be no other explanation for him leaving us all in the room with nothing to do for close to FORTY MINUTES!!

HOLY SHIT UPDATE: Michael Jackson died today?! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Dude, the Thriller album came out when I was like 6 or 7 and I instantly loved it. After all these years I STILL frickin' love it. Even though he was a freaky alleged child molester, his music rocked the world and turned it upside down. RIP, King of Pop. You will be missed. (this deserves its own post...and I'll get there, believe you me)

Now back to your regularly scheduled rant...

11:59am: Dr. Cromartie strolls back in with two stacks of papers like he hasn't just been MIA for forty minutes. He passes out one stack and then complains that the papers are not being handed around quickly enough. We look...its not the exam. It is a 3 page extra credit assignment, complete with one full page of formatting instructions. He picks a student in the front row to read the instructions in their entirety...aloud. The whole time I'm thinking FML. EFF! EMM! ELL!
12:02pm: We finally get the exam. For those who have done their reading and have watched the stupid videos, this "exam" is not really that difficult. But I can imagine that for some people in the class, you know, the ones who have an issue with roll call, 28 minutes might not be enough time.
12:28pm: I hand in my exam and scantron and leave, absolutely fuming.

For someone who is SO fucking crazy about us coming to class prepared and on time, this asshole made us wait for 40 minutes while he went to xerox the exams because they weren't ready. And then he made announcement after announcement DURING the exam time! I honestly expected someone to jump out of the music storage area to let us all know that we were on Candid Camera and that they were waiting to see who would crack first (hint: it wasn't me). I hate when my time is wasted like that. I mean really, couldn't we have taken the exam FIRST, turn in our papers for him to correct outside of class and call it a day? Wouldn't that make much more sense? Seriously.

Weekend mental shenanigans

2009-06-21T09:47:00.001-07:00

On Thursday afternoon, after possibly the most entertaining and simultaneously scary psychology class I have ever attended, I headed across campus to get the lowdown on Drug Dose Calculations. The professor gave me copious written materials, a syllabus and...a math review pre-test, sans calculators. Really?! No calculators?! How archaic!!! When I saw the pre-test, my blood pressure SHOT up about 20 points.

You see, I have a confession. Despite having graduated from one of the top public universities in the nation, I cannot do basic arithmetic. Like, at all. Embarrassing, I know. As I quickly scanned the page, the problems literally made me panic. I briefly considered the fact that maybe this required class was a deal-breaker and that this wasn't the nursing school for me. When I expressed my concern, the professor ensured me that people generally do well in this class and that I really shouldn't worry. Ha, I thought...those people can probably remember how to do a long division problem or how to work with mixed numbers. Me, on the other hand, not so much. And scanning over the syllabus, I saw that the first exam was in five days! HOLY SHIT!! I was close to calling it quits...

But, at the professor's urging, I ordered the book and the CD, paid an assload to have them shipped overnight, and gave it a shot. And you know what, I *did* remember how to do most of the stuff. The CD provided a decent refresher and I was able to work through the first three assignments with minimal struggle. I'm still not totally at ease and there are some things that I definitely need to work on, but actually trying and being able to do the problems was a huge confidence booster. From the time the book arrived on Friday afternoon until about 2pm yesterday, I busted my ass.

Saturday afternoon, DJC decided we needed to go out to grab something to eat. He took me to Jupiter and we sat out in the sun, drank beer (Anderson Valley Summer Solstice on tap!) and ate delicious pizza. For the first time since I realized I had missed the first day of class, I was able to relax and actually enjoy myself. The sun felt amazing, the beer was cold and refreshing and the company couldn't have been better. And just like that, all was well again. I felt calm, confident and ready to tackle this class to the best of my abilities. DJC's good like that. Most times, he knows exactly how to mellow me out when I'm close to losing it.

I also forgot to add that after much searching, we finally found a store in the east bay that carries our new fave pinot. DJC called up the Wine.com warehouse in Berkeley and sure enough, they had six bottles of Undone pinot noir from Germany on hand. After our lovely day in the sun, we quickly rushed over to snag all six. We first tried this delicate pinot at Marc 49 in Oakland and instantly fell in love. If you like pinot, you must give this stuff a try. Its definitely different from other pinots in that it is aged in stainless steel tanks and is much lighter in color, btut don't be scared off by those things. Undone is delicious and I'm so happy we found it! In fact, DJC ordered an entire case from the Wine.com folks! YAY!

For now, its back to work for me! Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Have a great week!

Crisis averted

2009-06-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

I experienced a true "holy shit" moment earlier today. You see, summer classes start this week. I was all ready for Life Span Psychology, which starts tomorrow morning. Drug Dose Calculations, per an email I received from the professor, was scheduled to start on Tuesday the 26th. She informed me that the class was over-enrolled, but if I showed up on the first day of class, she would add me in. Ok, I thought. Tuesday the 26th was on my schedule.

Wait a sec...the 26th is a Friday. Uh-oh. Did she mean Tuesday the 16th? I bet she meant the 16th. Oh shit. That means that I MISSED THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS!!! I need to complete this class in order to be able to apply in the fall! HOLY SHIT. I totally panicked. I might have cried, although I can't be sure. I definitely whimpered, though.

When the room stopped spinning, I got it together and emailed the professor (and included her email stating that the class started on the 26th) to ask if she actually meant the 16th and if it was still possible for me to get in to the class even though I missed the entire first day (!!!). She responded almost instantly, apologizing and stating that even though she had turned away roughly 30 people because she just couldn't accommodate any more, she'd allow me to enroll.

Whew. Thank goodness. We exchanged several emails and she asked me to stop by her office tomorrow so that she can give me the class orientation. Apparently, all the content and assignments are online and the pace of the class is VERY fast. How fast, you ask? The first exam is next Tuesday. That's right...I haven't even read a single lecture yet, and in less than a week, I will be tested on the material. Holy shit x2!

The only thing I feel slightly bad about is the fact that her emails were littered with statements like this: "My official office hours are 1-4 but if you want to come between 12 and 1, that’s ok. I may just be munching my lunch but I don’t mind. It’s the least I can do after giving you the wrong information." I don't want to bother her! I don't want to put her out! But damn it, I would have been in class yesterday if her original email had the correct date on it.

Whatever. At least I'm in. Maybe it was a good thing that I missed class...she did say that she's had to turn away lots of people who did come yesterday...who's to say that I wouldn't have been one of those unlucky folks. Looks like I'll be hitting the books hard this summer!!

Apparently, I've been doing it all wrong...

2009-06-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

Our dryer is currently on the fritz. I can wash clothes at the house, I just can't dry them. And I refuse to call the service company again, because we're always the ones who have to call. Otherwise, as evidenced by the fact that it remained broken for close to four months, it doesn't get fixed. But we still need clean clothes. Even though I hate the laundromat with the fire of a thousand suns, off I went today...

As I dragged my heavy bag of dirty stuff over to the single-load washers and started unloading, an old man in the corner barked at me, "You're wasting your money doing it that way". Ummm, OK. Whatever, old guy. I told him that I was doing juuuust fine and continued doing my thing. I walked out of the laundromat to get a Vitamin Water and when I came back, old guy came over and said, "You're overloading my washers! You're burning up the motors in my machines, kid!". It was then that he introduced himself as the owner of the laundromat. I felt like an ass for brushing him off earlier.

He explained that I should be using the larger capacity washers for the amount of clothes I had to do. I admitted that I was a bit intimidated by those things and didn't really know how to use them or how much soap to put in. As he paraded me around from machine to machine, I got a fifteen minute tutorial on how to operate the 25, 40 and 60 pound washers . He informed me that I've been "doing it all wrong". After his convincing lesson, I concurred. I will try it his way next time. Old guy was super nice, friendly and was just interested in helping me out.

Strange side note: As I was waiting for my clothes to dry, I noticed a super slim Asian man wearing plaid shorts, a contrasting striped shirt and sandals. Whatever, I thought...after all, it's laundry day. But then, for whatever reason, I looked at his feet. He had possibly the BEST pedicure I've ever seen, complete with shiny navy blue nail polish (not unlike my own) and red and white flowers that were hand painted on, no doubt. The nails were longer, but very evenly filed. So weird. Didn't see that one coming at all. LOL! Gotta love the laundromat.

Just your typical bay area Saturday afternoon

2009-06-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

It was supposed to rain this weekend. I love it when the meteorologists are wrong. On my way to pick up some new nail polish at the local beauty supply store, I drove by the beach and saw this:

Alameda beach with San Francisco and the Bay Bridge in the distance...

Two kitesurfers with Sutro Tower in between...

Super zoomed in close up of one of the kitesurfers...

Alameda beach is always pretty windy and on Saturday afternoon, there were so many kites in the sky that I had to stop and watch for a little while. The pedicure I was going to give myself could wait. I stood with my toes in the water and and a smile on my face as I watched numerous kitesurfers come out of the water and then attempt to walk their kites back down the beach. In the wind, it was difficult and required two people most of the time.

It was a gorgeous day. Not a single rain cloud in sight. (Make sure to click on the pics to see the larger versions. They're worth it.)

Dogs EVERYWHERE!!

2009-06-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

DJC and I went out to Danville tonight. He was in serious need of a haircut and the only lady that he trusts with his locks is located in a shop situated smack in the middle of what he calls "Status Symbol Lane". Visiting Danville is always an adventure, even though I grew up there.

Since my parents still live in the area, we've been known to frequent this area of town for weekend brunches outside in the sunshine. On any given day, we've seen some of the most *ridiculous* mid-life crisis cars driven by men who are clearly too old to properly enjoy them. I liken it to renting a Ferrari in Las Vegas and then only driving it up and down the Strip...ya know, just to be seen in it. They don't actually drive them into the ground they way they should or even push the gas pedal down enough to get the motor purring. Its a shame.

Anyways... tonight, Status Symbol Lane was overtaken by THOUSANDS of canines. You see, tonight was Danville Doggie Night, where owners bring their four-legged friends to a place called Molly's Pup-purr-ee (I can't make this shit up, folks) for a gathering of people and pets. No matter which way I turned, there were dogs, dogs and MORE DOGS...little Chihuahuas, Great Danes and everything in between. I took pics of my favorites:

This is Kiley, a 3 year old adorably poofy Chow Chow. She was totally kicking back outside the local Starbucks, just chillin'. I rubbed her head and ears for about 5 minutes and she was possibly the *softest* thing I have ever touched in my whole life.

This is Sampson, a 6 month old Akita, whose owner was also getting a haircut in the same salon where DJC was. He sat patiently and quietly during the whole cutting process...right up until the girl cutting his owner's hair took him to the back for a rinse. Once his owner was out of sight, Sampson got a little edgy and started barking, but when his owner returned, he jumped up and down in delight. Such an adorable puppy...such HUGE paws.

This was definitely the strangest thing I have ever seen in Danville, but Drew's hairstylist had it right when she said that its good for the community and great for local businesses. And these days, I'm all for anything that stimulates the economy, even if the town of Danville has no idea what the word "recession" means.

On the house FAIL

2009-06-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

Friday night started out innocently enough. DJC and I took a nice relaxing walk to dinner at the local pub, had wine, beer, a delicious cheeseburger and Wattie's. Aaaah, happiness. I was content with calling it a night right then and there, but DJC suggested that we head over to a bar across the street that "had a good beer selection". I'm not much of a beer drinker anymore, but I figured I'd indulge the boy for a little while. I was sure they'd have an acceptable wine or two.

We took two seats at the bar and ordered. Almost immediately, DJC and the bartender struck up a conversation about beer. The bartender, Chris from Chico, said that he had never tried a certain kind of beer that DJC mentioned, and next thing we knew Chris brought a bottle over along with three glasses. He stated that he was allowed one free bottle a night and that this was his. We thanked him and he wandered off.

A bit later, Chris noticed our glasses were empty and asked us what beer we'd like next. By this time, I had had two glasses of white wine, one glass of red wine and one small glass of beer. Sure, I thought...more beer sounds like a great idea. When Chris returned with our cold beers, he slid them across the bar and said, "These are on the house". WOOT!!, we thought. Free beer! All was right in the world.

A little later, Chris came by with another open bottle and set it down in front of me after stating that his boss had opened it so that they could try it, and neither of them liked it. It was a large 18.5 oz bottle and they'd wasted exactly .5 ounces of it deciding that it was no good. Fortunately for me, I thought it was great. It was also "on the house". This was turning out to be an awesome night full of bonus beer. We thought that Chris was the greatest guy in the world...

...until we got our tab. Somewhere along the line, he must've forgotten about all of the beer that was supposedly "on the house". In reality, we paid for the exact number of beers and glasses of wine that we had consumed. It wasn't quite the deal we thought we were supposed to be getting. But we were totally hammered and it didn't really matter so much. We stumbled home laughing the whole way and happily went to sleep.

When we thought about the supposed free beer we should have gotten the next morning, we were a little more than pissed and horribly hung over. I mean, really...WTF?! Here's the lesson of the day, kids: When paying for drinks at a bar where the bartender is a total douchebag, pay in cash after each individual round. That way, you can keep track of what you're paying for and what you're actually getting "on the house".

And Chris...here's a big middle finger to you, dude. Stop promising shit you can't, or won't, deliver. Ass.